BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Stress Management Quick fixes to lower stress

hi folks,

I've got lots of good change starting to happen in my life. The problem is, sometimes it's very overwhelming!!! In the last 36 hours my stress has been climbing through the roof, and i'll make myself sick if i don't do something to lower my stress somehow.

I really don't want to sabotage the advances i'm making in my life, so i'm in great need of quick stress reduction.

I was hoping friends here would post some of their favorite things to do to lower stress... please???????

Thanks heaps!!

---your flakey jittery friend.

Holly, I answered on another thread. It was quite long and I don't think everyone wants me to repost it here, so please look for it as I think it will really help you.

If you can't find it, I will PM it to you, okay?

Take care of yourself, friend. Don't make yourself sick and don't make any rushed decisions or hasty moves. 36 hours isn't very long compared to the length of time you've spent gaining your independence and learning to heal.

SUCCESS IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION.

This is something to remember about life. Everyday we learn something new and we teach something new to someone new, and that is a success. That is LIFE. That is SUCCESS. It is not a destination but rather a JOURNEY. Holly, we have been on one heck of a JOURNEY, as a group, and we all are making great advances in our lives. Do you think we have reached our DESTINATION? Do you think YOU have? Do you think going BACK is the way for you to go FORWARD with the advances in YOUR life?

Just a thought...my dear friend. I read in another thread about your old boyfriend... if THAT is meant to be, then it will wait until YOU are ready. Don't just settle. Dream a PRINCE and wait for him to become one. Give him time and see if he can change into one. He wasn't before, but that doesn't mean he won't be now, just give him plenty of time to prove that he is everything that YOU want him to be. That is what YOU deserve. YOU DESERVE NOTHING LESS!!

By the way, you were looking for encouraging things to have around you during the day. I came upon a web site that looks SO COOL. It actually will "pop-up" blurbs of empowering statements or encouragement at various timed intervals, on your computer like:
________________________________________________________________
"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped" - Anthony Robbins

I know that you like AR and that statement is appropriate at THIS particular time. The site is:

BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

Trish, very good post as usual.
Holly, did you ever go to youtube?

Holly, I suggest music. Make certain the music matches your need, meaning don't listen to something sad and sappy when you're feeling down, etc. Here's a good example:
"I know sometimes it's hard for you to see. You're caught between just who you are and who you want to be. If you feel alone and lost and need a friend, remember every new beginning is some beginnings end. Welcome to wherever you are. This is your life. You've made it this far. Welcome. You gotta believe that right here, right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be. So, welcome to wherever you are." Jon Bon Jovi
Music can say so much! So....relax! You're exactly where you're supposed to be and you're doing great!!!!! Sue

Thank you, everyone!

i want to manage my stress because things happen as i become more stressed that are beyond my control... the night terrors and insomnia, i become obsessive about trivial things and ignore taking care of important things because it is too much stress, i often can't focus or think clearly, or i criticize myself endlessly and worry. When i was especially stressed a few years ago, i would also blank out and lose time... not knowing how much time had passed or what had transpired. I know these are biochemical reactions. I would like to learn how to avoid these effects by managing my stess better, without avoiding new things i would like to do.

I will look at the website... thank you BabyQuacker.

And i may also try music, Nadaurz, though i've found that is unpredictable for me when i am moody. Even happy music can sometimes make me feel surprisingly more low... and i'm a little afraid it would so sometimes i won't try. I tried a few days ago with the radio and had to turn it off because cheery classical music was upsetting. Go figure. haha. I will try again with pop music today or tomorrow.

Manjari, i can't go to UTube... it usually crashes my computer. My computer is slow and i only have dial-up computer access, and it can't handle video or podcasts in general. I'm going to look at my options and see if i can afford to switch to high speed internet. At present i can't even get news at places like CNN, because so much of it is video. As websites advance in their technology, it is getting more and more annoying to have a slow computer.

I am late... i need to go. I wish i could stay. I have missed all of you and Bella very much the last few days. I have been having trouble getting on Bella lately... sometimes the server is down or the pages won't come up or i can't sign in, etc. Hopefully this will improve, but if you don't hear from me as much this week, you now know why.

love you all!

~h

Good luck, Holly.

thank you. I'm not as stressed now, but always after intense stress, i feel depressed. I don't know why that is.

But i thought of something that sometimes helps when i'm stressed... eating pasta (preferably whole wheat) in a marinara sauce. I know most people would advise against eating to relieve stress, but some foods really do seem to help. Sugar and caffeine of course wouldn't be good, but pasta, particularly with garlic, is quite noticably calming.

Stress and depression go together?
What causes what?

I know for me and a friend of mine that a lot of stress will send us into a spell of depression quite predictably. He suffers from depression more chronicly than i, but in my case i only get depressed following intense stress, and yes, it does seem caused by it. The depression "cures" the stress, but then i have to cure the depression. I get deeply discouraged and my opinion of myself is very harsh when i'm depressed. I can, though, usually shake off the depression in a few weeks or even days. The book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, taught me how to watch my thoughts and turn them around, and i try to keep active and try not to isolate myself. That helps.

I want to explore the vitamin and nutrient angle again. I know when i'm stressed, there is some very biological stuff happening, and i wonder if the anxiety depletes my nutrients, and if that in turn effects my ability to be happy. I went looking for a few things i wanted to try, but i couldn't find them in the drugstores so i will have to mail order them.

Which vitamins?

Yes, hollyelise, stress does deplete vitamins from your body. Especially vitamin C (so this lowers your immune system) and the B vitamins (which help lower stress)

A nutritional diet, along with B vitamins, can help stress from a physical standpoint. Stay away from sugar, alcohol and processed foods as these can stress out your body all by themselves.

Exercise really helps burn off stress too. Just taking a walk can help.

It might help you to research what stress does to your body. It harms your heart, raises your blood pressure and lowers your immune system, just to name a few.

Thank you Joan.

I eat a healthier diet than most people... cook my own food, eat lots of vegetables and fruits, try to eat mostly whole grains rather than white, and this year i've greatly reduced how much sugar i consume as well. I exercise regularly. I take nutritional supplements, too, but i know that multi-vitamins lack a number of our needs, and i also take Omega-3 oils and some other items, though not every day.

About five years ago a doctor friend of mine suggested trace elements specifically when i was under stress and she Fed-exed some to me. In the mean time i had a bottle of Blue-Algae in my cabinet(which is known for it's trace elements) which also met her requirements. My friend had explained that the body needs certain trace minerals to "re-set" itself when we've been under stress. If we have been going through a lot we may have used up our body's supply. If our body doesn't have the building blocks, it can't set us back to normal. She said if i didn't need those elements taking it would do nothing, but if i needed them, i would see a difference within 24 hours. She was right. The difference for me at that time was astounding.

Unfortunately i don't remember the specific names of the trace elements anymore, but i do remember that they weren't in multi-vitamins, and that the Blue Algae contains the needed elements and worked. I've looked in the drug stores for it but it's no longer popular so i can't find it in the stores and will need to mail order it. Kelp might also work, i don't know. Without going into the cellular biology of it, sea products are more likely to contain trace elements because sea water contains elements in almost the same proportions as the cells in our body. It's quite a remarkable coincidence, really.

Thanks hollyelise! I think you're very right about the trace elements. I've been taking spirulina which was recommended for Candida yeast overgrowth and I think this may be for the trace minerals in it.

I'll check out the Blue Algae. Vitamin Shoppe carries this in powders and pills. If there isn't one near you, you can order online from them. I love their service.

some Blue Algae comes from the Klamath Lake in Oregon near where I used to live.

No kidding?

Yes, i've used the Vitamin Shoppe too, and i like their catalog. I've never tried Spirulina except in green powder drinks. Spirulina is much easier to get.

The other thing i definitely need to order is Kava. I was taking it for a while. I tried many herbs known for improving mood and reducing tension, but i reacted negatively to a lot of them. Kava is the one that worked wonderfully for me, and the only thing i ever found that subdued my nightmares. Over time it improves your sense of well being, and eventually you can go off it without losing the effects. This too, has been shown in studies, according to that doctor-friend i have.

Unfortunately the makers of Prozac wanted it off the market when some independent clinical studies came out showing it was more effective than Prozac, and safer. It is commonly believed now that KAVA is banned in the U.S... but that's not true. The FDA did not ban it. Kava did, however, get pulled off the shelves of all major drug store chains and retailers like GNC, and i hate to say it, but i suspect there was some back-office negotiations done to pull the Kava off the shelves so that the stores and the Prozac company could make more money. It makes me angry. You could not pay me to take Prozac. Anyway, now i have to mail order the KAVA and the price shot up six times what it once was because not as many stores carry it.

Joan, where do you get your information about herbs? I used to subscribe to Prevention Magazine, and they would report on studies done with various herbs, but i don't subscribe anymore. I'd like to learn more. It seems like there are so many new ones on the market and i don't know anything about them.

ALWAYS before taking an herb i would research it on the internet to learn the positives and any health concerns with taking it, and then also i'd check with my doctor to see what they thought. Just because an herb or supplement is thought to be good by some, doesn't mean it's good for everyone, you know? For instance, i inherited a congenital tendency for my heart to beat irregularly. My father has had some trouble with it in life, but i have managed to avoid any health complications, partly by exercising to keep my heart strong. But i've learned also to carefully screen all supplements and drugs to make sure that one of their side effects is not an irregular heartbeat, because it's almost guaranteed to create one in me, see?

I used to subscribe to a magazine called Herbs for Health that's really good. I also have lots of books on the subject and used to grow herbs when I lived in Oregon.

Lots of my research came from looking for info for my own use. I got into using herbs originally when I used to do daycare and got a case of diarrhea from the kids that lasted about 6 weeks! It was then that I discovered the wonders of Ginger and I just took off from there.

I tried Kava but so herbs have the opposite effect of me that they are meant to. the ones for relaxation never worked very well. Chamomile is one I use for sleep tho/

It's a great idea to research well before taking anything. I tried SAM-e for arthritis and couldn't sleep at all so had to stop taking it. One of the side effects is rapid heart beat and irritability. who needs more of that!

I take prevention now and also Natural Health magazine. Prevention unfortunately devotes MANY pages to drug advertisements, sometimes taking up several pages just to list side effects.

Joan

Yes, i have had the opposite reaction to many herbs, too, and some bad reactions to certain kinds of drugs. When i tried St. John's Wort, which works so well for so many people, it made me a nervous wreck with difficult emotional swings within the first 48 hours! Now i always try the least amount (like a half-dose) when starting something to see if i will have a negative reaction.

Yes, i hate all the drug advertising, too, particularly on television. I think the drug companies are turning us into a nation of hypochondriacs. Currently anti-depressants are the most prescribed medicines in america, out-stripping blood pressure, diabetes, heart medicine, etc., go figure!!! And U.S.A. Today recently reported that regular anti-depressants shorten a person's lifespan by about 5 years. It's shameful, the over-prescribing! The last straw for me was when a few years ago i noticed a television commercial for a drug -- they were airing it at least six times an hour -- and it didn't even say what the drug was for!!! It just said, "Ask your doctor about _____" And showed happy, pretty, energetic people, doing things like vacationing. Give me a break!!!!!! A vacation in a bottle... HUMPH! What will they sell next?!

I've seen Natural Health on the stands, but i'm not familiar with it. Thank you for suggesting it.

One of the things that concerns me about learning the properties of herbs from books is it's hard to tell where they get their information, and sometimes the information comes from medieval herbals! Not that i don't respect folk wisdom... often it is true... but some of it is whacked out, as well.

I had a bad reaction to St Johns Wort as well.

It's kind of funny that when they advertise drugs they give all the adverse effects - like DEATH! My mom asked her doctor if he thought the drug ads had people asking more for certain drugs and he said about 50% of the people were afraid to take them because of the ads listing all the adverse effects! Counterproductive I'd say.

People like a quick fix, like people using chemical fertilizers that give the plant pep but ignore the soil (I'm against those too!).

I agree you need to check the sources of herbs when researching. If it's been used for centuries by some tribal people on an island somewhere and that's the only source that its useful, you might want to keep searching for newer info.

On the other hand, some of grandma's remedies, like dandelion tea in the spring as a tonic is still a good one.

I'm sure with the billions of dollars drug companies use on advertizing, that they spend a few bucks testing to see if their commercials are effective. I'm sure they are making far more profit by airing them, else there wouldn't be so many commercials.

The disclaimers are now required by law, that's why they are there. The companies certainly aren't disclosing the side effects out of the goodness of their hearts! Just as they say in Hollywood, "There's no such thing as bad publicity."

And i know it's affecting people because so many ordinary people now are telling me when i have trouble sleeping to take Lunestra to improve my sleep... and it's only been on the market a short while! They are not recommending it because they've personally tried it, they're recommending it because they've been indoctrinated by the commercials! I betcha not ONE of them has a shred of independent information on the drug outside of the commercials and magazine ads.

Everybody would like to think it's always the other guy and not us who's affected by advertising, but HELLO! ...we ALL are! Whether we think we are or not, we are. Political candidates know that there are many voters out there who aren't sure of the issues, but they'll vote for the incumbent because it's the name they most recognize!

Whenever i talk about drug companies i start foaming at the mouth. Please excuse me. It's some kind of allergic reaction, i'm sure, but probably they have a pill for it!!!!

My special favorites are the anti-depressants that warn one of their side effects may be an increased desire to commit suicide. Well, well, well. Gimme some!!! Maybe the pills won't help, but the laughter will.

Great info, hollyelise!

I have two children and we don't take drugs in our home, even for illnesses. I used herbal remedies and keep our immune systems strong with good nutrition and keeping the kids healthy in the first place.

I also limit the TV! I don't like them being influenced by all the advertising, for drugs or anything else.

When i was in college i had a friend i was worried was anorexic and so i went to the library to look it up to find out what is, and isn't, anorexia. I was shocked... exposure to women's fashion magazines and the fashion world really does increase a young woman's chances of being anorexic!

Yes. it does that.

I think panic attacks need to be handled differently than other forms of stress. What do the rest of you think?

panic attacks are not plain anxiety. they can be very serious and debilitating. One of the results of trauma for a long period.

i think the thinking is different with panic attacks... it's more difficult to override in the usual way because reasoning doesn't work as well. But distraction can help, as can other techniques.

Distraction?
You mean read newspaper, solve puzzles?

i purchased a program after my marriage. The progam is about how to deal with anxiety and panic attacks. It recommended different things for different levels of anxiety, and you are supposed to personalize it, too. Here, i'll show you. This is from Conquer Your Anxiety Success Program by Deanne Repich BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

Holly,

Did this help you?

Yes, very much. And some of it stayed with me, but it's time i go over it again and also try to pick up ideas i missed the first time i used it.

There is a lot more to the program. It teaches about how diet, exercising, breathing and other physical factors affect anxiousness. What happens inside the body during panic. It goes into detail how to recognize thoughts that escallate anxiety, how to recognize false thinking, how to replace those thoughts and break the chain when your anxiety is increasing. It has in it how to express your emotions safely, how to get better sleep, all sorts of things, and it comes with a guided relaxation recording. It prevented the worst of the symptoms for me and perhaps if i do it again i can get more out of it.

Thanks Holly.
I will pass on this to CD. He needs this.

Whenever I get stressed, which can be often, dependent on what's going on at the moment, doesn't matter if it's negative or positive, I usually get up and walk away for a bit. Sometimes I go outside to my garden, sometimes I just pick up something else to do inside (I'm self employed and work from home.)

If that doesn't work, and really it's just a diversionary tactic of focusing elsewhere and clearing my mind, then I sit down with a good old cup of herbal tea and listen to music, something mild like New Age or whatnot.

Really, negative or positive, stress is just a state of mind we get ourselves worked up into. It's something you have complete control over ~ if it's negative, ask yourself is it really worth it to get worked up over it, and what will working yourself up over it actually accomplish? If it's positive, the same thing, although that seems to me to be more instant euphoria then you come crashing back to earth and start worrying.

The energy that gets put into stress can be channelled into so many other energies which is why it's JMHO that we have complete control over stress. I may not be right about this, but it's worked for me ever since I convinced myself. LOL

Those are good suggestions. When you get up and do something else... you're basically interrupting the pattern that is making you feel stressed!

I believe that! Many of those photos are even air brushed so it isn't the way the models really look anyway. It's all fantasy.

I played softball in school and we wanted to have strong, healthy bodies. The coaches used to worry if we lost weight. We lifted weights, ran and worked out daily.

That's the way I want my daughters to be, not worrying about whether or not they are skinny enough.

Stacy

holly,

when I am in a bad state, I forget all about patterns.

Greetings,

I know how stress can pile up (and even rob your health). There are several things I do to relieve stress:
1. Exercise - it releases endorphins that improve your sense of well-being.
2. Drink Tension Tamer Tea from Celestial Seasons - you can buy it in the grocery store with the other hot teas.
3. Deep breathing - this is also of great help

I also use a product that contains Adaptogens (natural substances found in the Himalayan mountains that help your body cope with stress). If you want to know how to get this tonic, just e-mail me at gynecology@bellaonline.com. It is safe, effective, and inexpensive. I use it practically everyday, sometimes twice in a day.

Cheers!

Holly, Have you ever tried progressive muscle relaxation? If you haven't and want to know more, let me know. Muscle tension has been proven to play a part in stress and it's increase. This, also, is something I learned in the accelerated learning class we talked about earlier. It works wonders for me, especially for tension headaches. Sue

Manjari, Forgetting about patterns is a pattern in itself!

Sue,
well said.

To Lower Stress you need a mind/body approach. Balanced eating and exercise help - but don't forget reducing daily stressors. Stress is based on perception and our perception changes based on what is happening in our lives. If we feel unempowered, or fatigued because we don't create personal time for what we love to do or at least find out what we love to do, stress won't go away because of something in your diet or because you took a walk.

Start with awareness: How your body feels when you are stressed, where you feel stress in your body and begin to make small changes that help you to feel more optimistic.

Debbie Mandel

Debbie

What you say about observing body is right.

This is a great conversation with a lot of great tips. I had no idea how many women experienced extreme stress and anxiety until I started to experience it last year. As I started to talk about my issues, I learned that many of my girlfriends were also struggling with it. I would have horrible anxiety attacks (which I no longer have)that manifested into claustrophobia (which I still struggle with a bit). I thought I was going crazy. I am not a stressed or anxious person by nature and I didn't understand why I was reacting to all of my responsibilities in this way. I think a lot of it was based on control or lack there of.
A lot of the suggestions here are very good, in fact I tried many of them in the past. I found that the first step was becoming more self aware and realizing that I couldn't be super woman and didn't always have to be perfect. Then I made some changes in my lifestyle, started yoga, and trained myself to refocus when I started to get stressed/anxious. Medicine is also an option.

This is a great conversation with a lot of great tips. I had no idea how many women experienced extreme stress and anxiety until I started to experience it last year. As I started to talk about my issues, I learned that many of my girlfriends were also struggling with it. I would have horrible anxiety attacks (which I no longer have)that manifested into claustrophobia (which I still struggle with a bit). I thought I was going crazy. I am not a stressed or anxious person by nature and I didn't understand why I was reacting to all of my responsibilities in this way. I think a lot of it was based on control or lack there of.
A lot of the suggestions here are very good, in fact I tried many of them in the past. I found that the first step was becoming more self aware and realizing that I couldn't be super woman and didn't always have to be perfect. Then I made some changes in my lifestyle, started yoga, and trained myself to refocus when I started to get stressed/anxious.

Yoga is good for this.

I am verrrrrrrrry stressed right now. I did a lot of things today that i needed to do but that i know stress me out. I am taking a caculated risk right now on my new house mate, trying to get my life to move forward... but i am worrying about it. I'm at my max of what i can handle and i'm trying to calm down but i am not calm and it makes me feel a little ill.

Are you worried that she may not pay?

Perhaps some. But mostly it's just getting used to living with a new person i don't know well. She's a bit intense and loves to talk to me, but sometimes it's just too heavy of conversation for late at night... like about her ex who was murdered or her friend who committed suicide or all sorts of other intense stuff. I've been communicating when i need to sleep or relax or work and she's maybe starting to get the picture and i'm sure it will get better as we know each other but at the moment... too many little dramas... her car breaking down, some problems with her daughter when she was visiting, etc. She got drink one night... i don't think it's going to be a habit but it's just been more than i'm used to.

She has come with huge emotional baggage. That is adding to your problems.

Holly, I am getting worried. You do not need a house mate with such problems. You have enough of your own.

We will see how things turn out. I knew this would be a risk, it always is with any house mate, and i am sensitive, so this is part of it. But she also has many exceptional qualities and i believe she is motivated to working hard and being responsible and a good house mate. It's usually a little rough in the beginning with all housemates. It takes time to know what to expect from each other and get used to each other's quirks. It's a little like being married but with no engagement to get used to each other, haha.

I asked her today again about jobs to make sure she is progressing on her own needs, and she has been doing more than i was aware. She has also been told by my friend Mark that her work for him will begin the first week in October... i hope this is correct. Tomorrow she agreed to clear her things off of the porch and to help me put some shelves into her closet.

I considered all of the aspects in the beginning before making my decision. At present i'm doing my best to stay on top of things... in particular, communication and setting limits. It's just too early to tell.

Good luck Holly.

thank you.