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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 144
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 144 |
I think the whole "it takes a village" concept has been used by some to escape the responsibilities of raising their own kids. I think "it takes a village" was intended to mean that the entire community, not just parents and extended family, are responsible for raising kids, and I disagree with this concept.
As one person commented on the ABC website, "If it takes a village to raise a child, then why do so many parents get upset when their out of control brats are corrected by other adults? It seems that the saying implies that everyone needs to pitch in, but yet, the overindulgent parents don't want to hear it when their children need discipline."
Another person wrote, "I know it takes me and my husband to raise the child we created and love. I don't believe it's anyone elses responsibility to raise her or make sure she behaves in public, except for us."
Clearly, many establishments within a community, such as churches and schools, have an effect on children, and it should be a positive effect. But ultimately, whoever is raising the child, whether it be a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, is responsibile for that child's behavior.
I like the idea of childfree zones too. The article states, "With many parents across the country juggling work and home life, they don't often have much choice about bringing the children if they want to get out of the house." That statement implies that parents absolutely must bring their kids because the parents themselves "want to get out of the house." So it's more about what the parents want than about whether it is appropriate for the kids to be there.
"I think there also has to be the understanding of how difficult it is to be a parent these days, how difficult it is to find child care," Murphy said. BooHoo. It is "difficult" to be a parent, and we all need to "understand" that. One of the reasons many of us have chosen not to be parents is that we DO understand that. Those who HAVE chosen to parent need to deal with the realities of their situation and the consequences of their choices, and not expect those of us without kids to accomodate them everywhere. Why shouldn't we have a zone where we can enjoy the benefits - a quiet dinner, a leisurely day on the beach - of our choices?
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 297
Shark
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Shark
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 297 |
Beautiful post summer, I agree with you completely!
"I may not agree with what's on your bumper sticker, but I will fight to the end for your right to stick it." --Unknown
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344 |
Kid free zones sound good to me. Having the beach to myself would be heavenly, not lonely at all. People always assume alone = lonely and it doesn't. I cherish my alone time. And, I'd much rather be alone than in bad company. I don't desire the constant noise and activity that children bring.
As a CF, I think I get to choose which "village" I wish to support. Random strangers in a restaurant - no, I don't want to help them raise their children. My nephew - yes, I'm willing to watch him on occasion and participate in his development as a human being. Parents are so entitled!
One of the commenters was a divorced Mom or four. There's no way one woman can control four kids in public, I'm sorry. And she said she has to take them everywhere. She should have thought of that before she had FOUR, a family that is difficult for a couple to manage, let alone single Mom.
Save your own life - don't have kids!
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344 |
Too weird, I just saw this online. This mother is actually complaining about having alone time. This arouses my suspicions that some women have children to "keep them company" because they aren't adult or independent enough to do things on their own. If all of their former friends are having babies, they don't have anyone to hang out with anymore. So just have kids, you have a built in companion.
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Save your own life - don't have kids!
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 793
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 793 |
It must be a big adjustment when you're used to having a house full of people, and then suddenly there are none. I hope she has the sense to go out and open up some new worlds for herself, rather than just moping around thinking her life is over. The hard work is done, your life is just beginning!
I couldn't imagine what it must be like to live in a state of constant worry like she does. Her daughter must be having a ball in Africa, and all she does is worry and fret. I couldn't handle that. I have enough to worry about with just me. I know my mother freaks when I travel, she means well but it drives me nuts :-)
I agree with emeraldwednesday - the ability to be happy in your own company is certainly a blessing. I moved from New Zealand to Canada and people are amazed that I didn't know anybody, and moved anyway. Weren't you scared? Weren't you lonely? No, because I love spending time with me, and I trust my own judgement. Now I'm single again I can't wait to travel some more. By myself. Doing what I want to do when I want to do it. Oh, the bliss!!
There was an article on childfree beaches on Global this morning - I wonder if it was the same one - but I was at the gym and there was no sound. I'd love to know what was said. Probably the childed bleating some more about how it's their god given right to inflict their badly behaved brats on the rest of us. I wonder how Chaco's commune is coming along.
Last edited by Pikasam; 07/16/07 11:01 AM.
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,438
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,438 |
One of the commenters was a divorced Mom or four. There's no way one woman can control four kids in public, I'm sorry. And she said she has to take them everywhere. She should have thought of that before she had FOUR, a family that is difficult for a couple to manage, let alone single Mom.
A single mom of 4 kids? People get themselves into situations where their lives are completely undoable. What if one of these kids develops health problems? How can a single mom of 4 possibly have enough resources to raise that many children, unless she's Angelina Jolie? If your relationship is not stable, why did it take so long to figure that out, and then why keep having more kids? It must take a lot of confidence (not sure if that's the right word) for a SAHM to dump the dad and think she can step out into the workforce after being home for several years, and make enough money AND be able to raise her children on her own and do anywhere near a decent job of it.
Last edited by frieda7; 07/16/07 11:16 AM.
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 923
Parakeet
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Parakeet
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 923 |
We should start a new reality show: "Hormones Gone Wild: Attack of the Ravenous Kids". See what happens when hormones do the talking and leave the brain behind -- non-stop action as kids run around, wildly like animals, untrained in civilized mannerisms -- see the suffering parent/parents as they beg for the few minutes until bedtime or naptime. Watch as they visit truemomconfessions and truedadconfessions with their last remaining energies of the day, confess their deepest, darkest thoughts, click on about 20 more "me toos", then collapse on the bed, getting their 5 hours sleep, just to repeat it over..and over..and over again for 18+ years. Rated: HBT (Horrific But True) -- a Must see for all teenagers. I would LOVE that to be shown to teenagers in "health class"/sex ed  Who needs birth control when you have screaming kids?  Yes, I'm bad, but the world would be a better place for it..
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 58
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 58 |
I think that a section of the beach was designated "adults only". So what's the big deal?! The spin is so ridiculous. As if every coastline, every facility, and every other space in America is now barring children. The sad thing is that the ones griping would probably never admit why there is a need to create an adult only space. Shall we take a wild guess? Uncontrolled kids everywhere ruining the place/experience for all? And that would include families with well behaved kids. Gd forbid that any responsibility be taken -- it's all about the evil child haters.
And wandering alone on a beach RULES!
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344 |
The sad thing is that the ones griping would probably never admit why there is a need to create an adult only space. OR, they have been living in familyland for so long, that they don't get how annoying their kids are to other people. I've heard many Moms say they can tune their kids out. I don't know how they do it? Do you think they really can?
Save your own life - don't have kids!
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 923
Parakeet
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Parakeet
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 923 |
Of course they can! You've never seen two mothers in a restaurant chit-chatting in a normal voice while their kids run rampant like animals, yelling and screaming, chasing each other.
(Cringing because of the memories...ack!)
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