BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Kelly Clarkson on Motherhood - Go Kelly!

This kind of apologetic attitude really irritates me, I'm afraid. Perhaps some of these celebrities genuinely feel they are "selfish", or "not ready yet", but it smacks of pandering to the general opinion - which I suppose is necessary lest they alienate their fans. I have far more admiration for people like Helen Mirren, who explained her decision in these words:

"I didn't have that desire to be a mother and I don't think that a lot of women do. A lot are pressured into it, and they're miserable."

Now that takes some bravery!

Hear, hear!

PG

It's ridiculous for them to say that anyway. They are obviously really busy making movies, music, whatever. I can't imagine why it makes them selfish that they don't want kids. They are clearly doing something with their lives, and very successful.

If they weren't doing so well, maybe they wouldn't have so much to give up. But why should Kelly Clarkson give up her singing career, or compromise it to have kids? It obviously makes her happy.

Maybe they say that about themselves b/c other people have said it to them. But I would be [censored] if my friends said that to me.

I think it's just as selfish to do things "for your kids." Many parents have explained to me that when they change their child's diaper it's like cleaning up themselves, b/c the baby is an extension of them.

I've just finished reading Lionel Shriver's Double Fault, where the issue of children crops up (albeit fairly briefly). I was struck by what the female protagonist says when she is urged to replace her waning tennis career, and lack of a purpose, with a child: "I can't have a child as a substitute for a life." Unfortunately some parents seem to have children precisely for that reason, an arrangement which strikes me as unhealthy for everyone involved.

Lionel Shriver is, of course, famously childfree; see here for an interesting article she wrote on the topic a couple of years ago. To anyone who has not read her previous book, We Need to Talk About Kevin, I would heartily recommend it - it's a pretty terrifying antithesis to parental propaganda.

If anything, I think one of the more important consequences of Kelly Clarkson's statement is its potential influence on the young women who do idolize her to a degree.

I think by hearing her say that, it may dawn on some young women that motherhood is actually a CHOICE (so far).

Wow, I just read her article. It stung a bit. It makes me feel like I am letting the world down by not having kids.

I know she lumps herself with the rest of us, and says so. I agree that a lot of CFs (myself included) are pursuing interests that are more important/interesting to them than childrearing. But on the flip side, I don't think parents are thinking "it's my duty to do this." I think most of them think they want kids.

If something, like childrearing is completely repulsive to someone, I can't imagine they would do it just because they feel obligation. I can't in my right mind become a parent knowing I would hate my life.

I know George Clooney also described himself as selfish. But "selfless" are not words used to describe men. He isn't going against his role as man. "Selfless" is unfortunately the role that has been assigned to women.

It's our job, because we are born women, to be nurturing and selfless martyrs. I refuse to accept the role. And when women talk about wanting to do things for themselves, their personal growth and enjoyment, it is considered selfish. Men are expected to continue their personal development so that they can grow in their careers and be breadwinners (again, according to the stereotype.) And women are expected to stunt their growth so that the next generation can grow. It's so unfair.

Men make far less sacrifices when it comes to children. And women that do exactly as men do, and pursue their interests and talents, are judged. What about the men?