BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Calculating man-eater

Wow!~ where did Sand come from?
That was TOTALLY hateful!
What a sad, negative soul...
She obviously did not fully read the article nor follow our posts for a while, or clearly she would not have been so aggressive and insulting. What did she do? Selective reading of article and our posts? Just picking out words and sentences to string them into a post of her own fiction?
A person like that is frightening.
What was the reasoning behind showing her co-workers our post, rather than simply bringing up the topic of getting pregant on BC? To mock us? Insult us? If she knows that her co-workers would be offended or appalled by some of the wording or phrases found here, why bother showing them? Especially if they are not CF?
It is simply petty and mean-spirited.
Good riddence (but you know she is not done with this site. She will keep reading and finding things suited to her twisted outlook).
There is always one in every crowd and next time this happens, perhaps we ought not to give the person the satisfaction of (a) reply(ies).
I was under the assumption that this post is a form of support, not a free-for-all.

Hmmm, just a thought...,perhaps Sand is the subject of the article? LOL
THAT would explain a lot!

PS: In one of my postings, a month or two ago, I mentioned my friend who "trapped" her partner of 11 years by lying about stopping the pill, and saying she got pregnant on it.
I'm 41, and have been on the pill since the age of 17 (to regulate my periods). I have never once gotten pregnant and I feel it selfish and absolutely irresponsible to bring a child in this world becasuse of an "oops!".
Being CF is not an "ooops! I just got CF!"
Perhaps us CFs are not following "mother nature" or the convention, but most of us are and have been struggling with this decision, I mean, truly, thinking it out, and for some of us the realization that we can not, for whatever reason, have children, is painful.
I think that deserves more merit than having a child "just because it is what nature intends"...
All right, I'm done (sorry, I have no tolerance for ignorance)

PG

Oh well, good riddance to Sand. Although we may be outspoken here, none of us is obscene, and Sand had some pretty nasty things to say about men so her criticisms can't be taken too seriously. She just found our discussion, disagreed, and wanted to jump in. I'm not opposed to lively discussion, but she didn't have much of substance to say

Maybe somebody should direct Sand to the "truemomconfessions.com" site so that she can tally up the number of women on there who lied to their husbands and said that they were on "birth control" but then stopped it for months to have a baby. I'm just not understanding why she was so passionate unless she works in an abortion clinic or some type of counselling role for young girls who have gotten accidentally pregnant.

In our group of friends 3 women have done the whole "I'm having a baby to save our marriage". Interestingly it hasn't. One of them just kicked her husband out of the house - he's a lovely guy and she knows that he'll pay the money to support her being a SAHM for the children as he still loves her, but didn't like the lack of action in their relationship. One decided that number 2 would save their relationship, so just had another one while at the same time telling my fiance "he'd make a fantastic dad" and "Bec's selfish for not giving you children". (Mick replied with - "she's given me a new house out of that decision so I'm ok"). The third woman is now miserable as her husband does nothing with the baby and has now taken up a heap of outside interests to keep him away from home. I don't blame him. But the thing is - how selfish can these women be? Your partner married you, not your childbearing ability. Why do they think that a baby will fix their problems?

I have been thinking that ever sincwe she started trolling this board... I feel sorry for her because it sounds like she is troubled.

I actually did work in an abortion clinic and will agree that some pregnancies are true accidents. There were women there who were on Depo, some who used the pill religiously and even a couple who's husbands vasectomies 'healed' (happens occasionally with the no scalpel kind where they don't tie/burn the ends). It made me all the more relieved that I was in the lucky majority that birth control worked on.

That being said, I wasn't offended by anyone's statements. It seems highly unlikely that the woman in the story had an accident. She sounded more like an "oops." He seemed misogynistic. Both suck.

We will miss you terribly!

Ok, this is odd, this exact conversation came up at work this past week. One mother of an unwed father in denial stated, "but if she told him she was on the pill, and she wouldn't have sex with him because she's allergic to condoms," I said, so find someone else to have sex with. She wasn't humored. But it is both parties responsibility. I wouldn't want my son to pay for child support for 18 years because she was allergic to condoms. He needs to be accountable for his actions, as does my daughter.

I think both of the people in that link sound a little off. He's unbelievably misogynistic and she's unbelievably calculating. I have to agree that most "oops" pregnancies are probably not that at all. I recognize there are always exceptions to the rule, but I've known way too many women who have purposely not taken their pills properly in an effort to get pregnant. My own sister did that....she claimed she was taking her BC, but when I dug a little deeper, it turns out she wasn't taking it the way she was supposed to. She got pregnant on purpose and then got beyond upset that the guy didn't want to commit to her. No amount of explaining to her that people owe you nothing in life and that there are consequences for actions has ever gotten her to see logic. The guy didn't want a child and she did. Trying to create a committed relationship based on deceit and manipulation is just wrong and can never be successful. The guy met someone else halfway through my sister's pregnancy and now my sister is a single parent. Granted the guy participates in the child's life, but my sister has paid a high price for thinking she could force someone into commitment.
I think a lot of women are still not raised to be realistic (and I also think a lot of men are not raised to take responsibility anymore). For some reason, a lot of women think that getting pregnant can only cement a relationship (or should), but the reality is having children more often than not makes a relationship more difficult. And bringing a baby into the world just to give it the job of forcing commitment between its parents is so selfish.
The fact is, women are the ones who get pregnant - not men. And if you don't ever want to be saddled with single parenthood, you should not only use BC pills, but also condoms....or not have sex at all. Sex creates babies and every time you have sex without 100% accurate birth control, you take the chance of becoming pregnant - ie: you assume the risk. I think a lot of women who have an "oops" (whether genuine or not) and who get angry at the men, should get equally angry with themselves. It takes two to get pregnant and a real adult recognizes and accepts that.

Looking back on my past relationships I can honestly say that the guys I've been with had all used condoms and/or went out of their way to get them. They always seemed to be conscientious of this.

OMG, I know someone that swears by the rules, too. And she was definitely misguided by them.

I guess any book can be taken out of context, but I'm somewhat familiar with the text, and it's pretty manipulative.

I know this - the rules would never recommend getting pregnant to trap a man, though.

But it does promote misrepresenting or positioning yourself, and game-playing in the dating scene.

My friend believes, according to the rules, that the man should pay for everything. So she married someone that made a lot of money.

What the rules don't account for is if the relationship doesn't work out. My friend quit her job b/c her husband was paying for everything. He will still support her and her two kids, but things aren't good.

I wonder if she will follow the rules the second time around? I hope she learned something from being too dependent on a man.