BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Atheist Aboutthe power of the mind

It is interesting to note that most rational thinkers on this list have agreed that we do NOT create our reality by our thoughts. This is why I wanted to introduce this topic on the Athiest list, so that I would hear a balanced approach to the statement made so often by others on the Spirituality forum. I needed to hear the 'voice of logic' and I am very grateful to those who have provided this 'sanity' to the discussion.

No Das, my friend, you and I, as survivors of terrible sexual abuse, KNOW that we could not possibly have 'chosen' that for ourselves. What hurts, and hurts deeply, is when others who have other views about it, try to tell us that we DID create it, and present this theory as fact.

I was 'told' on another forum that whether I like it or not, I WAS 'responsible' for what happened to me. I had to hear from people who do not agree with this view, because it was making me feel like some kind of monster! I needed someone to put clearly into words why such a belief is ridiculous.

I thank all those who have answered this question for me, and helped me to see the difference between belief and fact; opinion and knowledge; fantasy and logic.

Patience.

Maybe we are looking at this all wrong!! You dont invite abusers but if you make the abuse the focus of your thoughts then you have created your own hell but if you chose to see that you have survived the abuse and moved on with your life then you have conconcord and won the battle and you are able to see the good things in life and have joy and peace!!

so in this sence you invite happyness into your life or you chose your own hell!

Any thoughts?

Some abuse you never recover from. It follows you. It destroys your life - your future, whether you want this or not. The damage is permanent. You may move on in your life, but nothing changes the damage done. Sometimes you can't move on as you would wish, because the legacies prevent you from doing so. The legacies can prevent you from obtaining the jobs you have the talents for. Your mental and emotional state is permanently affected. You are 'crippled' by the damage. It really has nothing to do with your thoughts. A paraplegic may have a very positive approach to life, but the fact that they are confined to a wheelchair will limit what they are able to do. You can only strive to accept it, and make the best of what you have left.

It is difficult to understand.

To not be able to reach your full potential is one of the toughest things to come to terms with.

Lovingly,

Patience.

"To not be able to reach your full potential is one of the toughest things to come to terms with."

What if your full potential is to live within physical limits but acheive spiritually beyond them? Isn't it really how we measure "Full" potential? Isn't there more to being a human being than what we can physically do?

Hello there BB Editor, it's nice to see you contributing!

What you say is very true. It is the way I approach life now.

I do have those 'regrets' though, and this is because I had some special talents which were not able to be carried as far as they would have in someone who did not have my particular handicaps. Handicaps that were the result of what others did to me. So sometimes I look back with anger and regret. I know! It achieves NOTHING! And that is why I am still 'hanging in here' and making the most of what I have left.

When people see something they do not understand, they sometimes want to destroy it. That is what happened through my life. In other cases, it was my own fears and insecurities which held me back.

I often have days of 'self pity' - knowing thatI have missed out on so many things which others take for granted, like having a childhood that was filled with happy memories; - having the joy of being loved, or even having a boyfriend, or being able to sleep at night without fears and nightmares. I still feel a sense of sadness when I see friends marry and have children, and I am all alone. But this is just self pity, and I quickly think of all those who are suffering in this world in ways I did NOT suffer. And I count my blessings.

The things I did achieve, in spite of the 'legacies', make me aware now of how much more I could have achieved, and how much more fruitful my life could have been if I had not been 'shot in the foot' - so to speak. I could have reached greater heights with the many talents I was blessed with.

I am now going on for 69 years of age, and when one reaches this age, one tends to look back on life with a critical eye. If I wasn't a positive person, I would no doubt see my life as a wasted one, but I know I did my very best, and that's the most that anyone can do.

So yes, what you say is true. We make the most of what we have.

With all good thoughts,

Patience.

I understand what you say because abuse has given me so many negative gifts.

Yes Das, I think the psychological damage is the one which is the hardest.

Patience.

That lives with us forever despite all the therapy.

I have read this whole tread with interest and I must say I agree with most of what you all say.
Of course we dont attract bad things that happen to us.What a load of crapola buddhism is....Another form of brainwashing.

I think that perhaps good people try to find a reason for the horrors in our world. Some way of 'explaining it' that is acceptable.

If we 'chose' it, then it doesn't seem so bad. If we 'created it' for the purpose of learning lessons, or teaching others, then it doesn't seem so bad.

I wonder if perhaps there isn't some 'denial' (in the psychological sense) going on here?

Not exactly 'explaining it away' - but finding a reason for it that is acceptable to their minds?

If someone breaks into your home and kills your child, whose reality is that? Whose 'creation' is that? The child's? The Parent's? - or the perpetrator's? Or are they all working in collusion?

The belief that we all create our own realities or choose them is saying that!

It makes no sense, and is actually a terrible thing to even consider!

As I have heard said: "Stuff happens!" - and it is up to us how we deal with it when it happens to us.

Patience.