BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Civil War Rages in the Office

Job dedication and stellar performance equals promotions and salary increases. Frequent absence and/or distractions equals you get to keep your job, but I better be ahead of you. I don't want you to get fired, but I sure as hell want proper recognition for my late nights, extra time, etc.

Enough said, this topic gets me reeling and I'm in a good mood right now...

UGH! That same employee that I was talking about just left 2 hours early to take her kid somewhere. I swear.....

What do the rest of the people in your office think? Does anyone else notice this and resent it? And how do you get on with your/her supervisor?

If this was happening to me, I'd document all her time off, and after a few weeks take it up the chain. Point out that while she's out, the rest of you have to carry her slack, and you don't think it's fair that she's constantly out of the office while everyone else covers for her.

You'll need hard data. If it's not as much as you perceive, you'll know pretty quick. And if it is, your supervisor might be surprised enough to do something about it. Sometimes they're just too busy to notice.

If someone came to me with a complaint like this I would never disclose my source, I would simply say that "I" had noted it. Whoever you take this to needs to assure your confidentiality, so make it someone you can trust.

No doubt some people just take advantage. A super's word in her ear might be enough to let her know that someone is watching, and often that's all people need to pull them into line...

Unfortunately I work in a small office. She only works for one attorney on one area of law. She assists the main secretary in that area for the senior partner. He doesn't do anything to upset his main gal, so nothing is said to the assistant who doesn't have a regular time schedule. The other 3 of us girls complain all of the time, but we get nowhere. Basically I am in the hunt for a new job. She "takes work home" also. Don't ask me how she gets anything done with 2 kids at home and her older son's 3 kids living on her property in a trailer. It is a joke. Her work ethics are the worst and the higher up doesn't say a word. He doesn't like to upset the apple cart, if you know what I mean.

I guess it speaks to what we've been saying - a lot of these women don't have a life outside of their children.

I did get to be the Mystery Reader at my nephew's class once, and that was really cool. He didn't know I was going to be there, and he was really excited that I got to read to his class.

I worked with a total nut case once, that had five kids by at least two different fathers. She had serious issues, and she ended up raising them all alone. This was someone that NEVER should have had kids. She had enough trouble just taking care of herself.

She literally had a crisis once a week, and was always out, leaving early, you name it.

She gave me a book one day, that she swore I just had to read. She literally asked me the next day if I read it yet. I told her I hadn't, and she said "what else do you have to do, you don't have kids?"

I was single at the time, too. Like, yeah, let me go out and have kids with someone random like you did, idiot!

She totally resented my carefree, childfree life. But she capitalized on the fact that she had kids.

Nice that we don't have anything to do since we don't have kids. Geez. Some people just don't think before they open their mouths. The one I work with is nuts too. Not to mention she feels the need to tell me all about her kids and grandkids. How cute they are and all of that. Her son has 2 kids with the girl he is living with. There is a 3rd kid, but they are pretty sure it isn't his. Yeah, makes me want to go out and have a whole bunch.

I may have an unpopular opinion, but I say some reasonable flextime for everyone, and mind your own business. I suppose I was very lucky that at my last job (currently a student full time) my boss was VERY insistant that everyone had a life to get home to at the end of the day, kids or not.

I don't think parents should have to take vacation time for a recital or parent teacher conference, but they should be expected to make up for the time by staying late or taking work home. As Americans most of us get precious little time off, and true rest and relaxation from uninterupted vacation time should be honored.

By mind your own business, I mean do your own job, and don't worry about other people's schedules unless it directly affects your own job performance. I had a female doctor come speak to our class about something last semester, and she mentioned that she worked 20 hours a week once she had children. She still got promotions and grants and raises, much to frustration of some of her 40 hour a week coworkers. But the thing is how you use your time is more important than how many hours you clock.

Violet, you have some good ideas, but how well they would work would vary greatly from industry to industry- perhaps company to company.
I'm in retail. Our store (like many) does not often have more than the necessary staffing to handle the "traffic" of each given hour. So if a someome calls in, leaves early or comes in late, the remaining staffers need to scramble to compensate. Essentially, about 80% of the call-ins require literally everyone else to work harder.
Because that is the nature of my work life, here's what I'd say to those who think their kids entitle them to more "flex-time":
I could care less for your reasons for not being at work. With the exceptions of illness and emergencies, schedule it in advance or skip it. People are counting on you to come ot work and do your job. That doesn't change just because you have kids.

I couldn't agree more about uninterrupted vacation time, but how is a working parent going to stay late when they have to pick the kid up from daycare by 6pm, and how are they going to get work done at home with kids to take care of until 9pm, or whenever they go to bed?

Maybe I'm just suspicious of people who "work at home", but then I could never do it, I find way too many excuses to goof off :-)

I think that is the solution. Give EVERYONE a bank of flextime to use for whatever they want. When that runs out, they have to dip into their sick leave or vacation. Oh, and don't bring your kids to the office to run around and sit in meetings, etc. Others trying to work shouldn't have to be your default babysitters. I do, however, think that dogs should be allowed at work all the time. The world would be a better place if more dogs were in offices. Just my personal pro-canine stance.

Anyway, Americans do get the least amount of leave of any other industrialized western nation. I think everyone would be nicer if they had more time off....and studies show it would not negatively impact productivity. There was a story on NPR the other day about it.