Over the past month I have started to see a girl who is absolutely wonderful. We actually met over the summer but it was not until we ran into each other in early December that our relationship and friendship began to take off. Since that time it has been like most ( i will explain in a minute) everything has clicked wonderfully between us. We have great conversation, we share many of the same interests, we are both fascinated by our unique little differences, we both share a physical attraction for each other, and perhaps the greatest attraction is our mental attraction towards one another.
On a platonic level our relationship is doing well, but we have both expressed and shared desires to grow our relationship into something more. Yet in so doing she has expressed to me her feelings of mixed up emotion. Two times now we have engaged in romantic evenings filled with deep conversation and expressions of physical attraction, yet on both occasions the morning after has yielded her complete break down.
So this is where I am really confused but before I go on you should know that I have abstained from being involved in any type of relationship my entire life (25 years) because I grew up in the midst of two miserable relationships. Yet, now that I am finally through with school and on my own, I feel ready to to become involved with someone. When I met the girl of which I have been writing, I was by no means looking for any type of relationship. I had actually planned on meeting her friend not her. As I said, we just clicked, it was a feeling I had never had before towards a girl (she is 23).
Moving back to my troubles... After both of our romantic experiences, in her breakdowns, I have learned more and more about her.
After our first experience she told me that she really liked me but was not wanting a relationship at this time. She went on to say that she had just gotten out of a two year relationship and wanted to take a break. She just wanted to be good friends for the time. As you might imagine this tore my heart to pieces and made me really blue. Yet at the same time she said that she wanted to keep on going out. Realizing that friendship should be the core of any serious relationship, I was alright with doing this for a a little while.
Now to the second experience... I again started to take her out and again we started to have a wonderful time together. Our friendship deepened and again our romance towards one another began to blossom. This time we were very open and discussed many/most of our issues and concerns beforehand, yet one thing led to another and again we found ourselves in the midst of romance. And again the next morning she had a breakdown. As I held her in my arms she professed her affection towards me but said she was not ready for a relationship. She said she was confused and then she went on to tell me that she was seeing someone else. This time my heart nearly split. I did not know what to think. She said she really liked me and wanted to be with someone like me for a serious relationship, but for the time being she just wanted to have fun. Her other friend she said was just a jerk (her words) who she "used" for sexual need.
I am so confused. Is this typical in relationships and dating? I am not angry with her I just want to resolve our misunderstanding and move froward. Is that possible? She keeps saying she wants to be friends but i don't know if platonic friendship is possible considering our innate romantic affection.
So my question is: how do I salvage this relationship and grow it into something serious? I am very patient and want to see this work and considering that our friendship is strong, I believe it can.
Please Help. Very Confused