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Re: First post: WHAT A RELIEF! #269360
09/22/06 12:48 AM
09/22/06 12:48 AM
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 140
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WildFern Offline
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 140
Long term care insurance, prepaid hospitalization, prepaid funeral, will on file with the attorney, living will and directives on file with doctor and everybody and their dog and really great relationships with sibs, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts.

Someone will be around somewhere when I get up there in age.


WildFern
Living Without Children - Automated Note
For New Visitors: This forum exists as a support community for people who are living a child-free existence. This area is here to help nurture, inspire and educate those who, for whatever reason, are living their lives without children in the home.

Posts made here must be supportive of this lifestyle choice. Comments should not question a person's decision to or reasons for being child free. Those negative comments are called "bingoing" or "trolling" and are not allowed. Please be sure you are aware of this forum's intentions and rules before posting!

Re: First post: WHAT A RELIEF! #269361
09/22/06 03:04 AM
09/22/06 03:04 AM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 21
H
hello Offline
Newbie
hello  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 21
To Jvo37 - Oh no, you cannot easily say yes to all those things. Are they serious? Loving being pregnant? - it sucked! Morning sickness - PLEASE! You want to kill yourself! Truly. But if you say yes, I am proof that it can be done with no maternal instinct at all and be happy. Only if you want it. If you let someone talk you into it FORGET IT! I always say having my kids (and boy did I luck out here, because they are PERFECT angels) is like climbing Mt. Everest in perfect conditions. Hey but it's still climbing Mt. Everest! It is hard work! Hardest job in the world? NO!C'mon it's not THAT hard.
Please don't second guess having children because you feel out of place with other people.
I thought I would never get married NEVER! AND never have kids. NEVER. And then things changed. Then you just know for yourself. When in doubt don't do it! Was I scare? Hell ya. Shitless. Thank God it worked out. I got lucky.
There are SO MANY reasons not to have kids. Again - when in doubt - DON'T.
Just my opinion.

Re: First post: WHAT A RELIEF! #269362
09/22/06 04:48 AM
09/22/06 04:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
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Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
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Re: First post: WHAT A RELIEF! #269363
09/22/06 11:30 AM
09/22/06 11:30 AM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 21
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hello Offline
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hello  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 21
Yeah, sorry. It confused us too. She always told us she didn't want kids. That they were happy. But when he died she told us that she did want kids in the beginning, but and he talked her out of it. She said she made the decision too so it's not his fault. She revealed that she did think about this over the years, but that she was happy and pushed it out of her mind. It's just that she's lonely now. My husband is the only person she has and we're far away.

I don't think they were unhappy at all when they were together. I think she did love her husband dearly and if given the choice still would have choosen to be with him. I think she now wishes she could have done both - had him and and kids.
It's just her situation - not that CF people would be lonely later. She's older now - close to 80 years old. My husband's Mom (her sister) passed away this year. My husband is an only child. I'm just sad for her - she's very sweet.
I think is just hindsight and wishful thinking, because of her loneliness. Maybe there are older people that regret having kids, who knows? You know, the grass is greener.....
Anyway, I just wanted to say that perhaps it's better to find someone compatible on the subject of kids so neither one of you has to compromise or have any regrets about having/not having children.

Last edited by hello; 09/22/06 11:32 AM.
Re: First post: WHAT A RELIEF! #269364
09/22/06 12:36 PM
09/22/06 12:36 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 64
J
jvo37 Offline
Amoeba
jvo37  Offline
Amoeba
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 64
I agree...I think the truth is that getting old sucks, and there will be some degree of loneliness no matter what. Children need to have their own lives, and they can visit you when they have time to. But your day to day life is bound to become lonely if you survive all of your friends, your spouse, and family that you grew up with as a child.

I was reading about group retirement homes, where old people buy a house and live independantly together, as an alternative to horrible nursing homes. Anyway, it's crazy to be thinking about all this now...I'm only 28!! But the pressure to made the children decision forces all of these questions.

Re: First post: WHAT A RELIEF! #269365
09/22/06 07:07 PM
09/22/06 07:07 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498
U.S.A.
WaterLily3422 Offline
Gecko
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Gecko

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498
U.S.A.
Quote:
I agree...I think the truth is that getting old sucks, and there will be some degree of loneliness no matter what. Children need to have their own lives, and they can visit you when they have time to. But your day to day life is bound to become lonely if you survive all of your friends, your spouse, and family that you grew up with as a child.

I was reading about group retirement homes, where old people buy a house and live independantly together, as an alternative to horrible nursing homes. Anyway, it's crazy to be thinking about all this now...I'm only 28!! But the pressure to made the children decision forces all of these questions.


[color:"orange"] Dito. [/color]


If motherhood doesn't interest you, don't do it. It didn't interest me, so I didn't do it. Anyway, I would have made a terrible parent. The first time my child didn't do what I wanted, I'd kill him."
--Katherine Hepburn
Re: First post: WHAT A RELIEF! #269366
09/22/06 11:13 PM
09/22/06 11:13 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 41
orangemonster Offline
Newbie
orangemonster  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 41
Barbara Walters related something that her daughter (who decided to remain CF) said that really made sense and hit home:
"I'd rather make the decision NOT to have kids and take the chance that later I 'might' regret it than to decide to have them now and regret it for my entire life".. or something to that effect. I think the message is we cannot live with what 'might be' we have to live with what we want to be right now.

There are no guarantees that decisions on ANYTHING we make now we won't regret. We can only decide for now what is right for now and live with the decision.

Re: First post: WHAT A RELIEF! #269367
09/23/06 03:46 AM
09/23/06 03:46 AM
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Posts: 1,382
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Re: First post: WHAT A RELIEF! #269368
09/23/06 03:48 AM
09/23/06 03:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
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Re: First post: WHAT A RELIEF! #269369
09/24/06 12:01 AM
09/24/06 12:01 AM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 94
Texas, USA
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coffeeaddict Offline
Amoeba
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Texas, USA
Quote:
There are no guarantees that decisions on ANYTHING we make now we won't regret. We can only decide for now what is right for now and live with the decision.


Can't argue with the truth! It's a shame more people don't live their life that way.



Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha
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