BellaOnline Forums Education Post College Relocate for boyfriend?

Im actually doiing this...Ill be moving tuesday to SC with my boyfriend who is in the Navy. I fully intend upon working and being an independant woman. This will however be my first time away from home...granted home will only be 15 hours away...but its not the same as coming over to watch tv and mooch a meal.

Hi Wendy...how exciting for you about the move to SC. I hope everything goes smoothly for you in the moving process. You're brave in my opinion...15 hours is a long ways from home, especially for the first time away. Stay safe in your travels & best of luck to you!

Kristy

Hi everyone,
Yale Daily news published an interesting article on this topic, in response to an article that ran in the NY Times about how people are waiting to get married.

Anyway, the Yale article says most people are worried about whether or not to relocate to the same city, rather than things like marriage. Here's the link to the Yale article (you have to scroll down a bit on the Yale page to read the article):
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My best friend did this...moved from Northern Virginia to Southern Cali with her boyfriend because he was in the Navy. They are now engaged but she has no friends of her own there and has to tag along everywhere with him. His friends resent this and she is homesick all the time. I would say I don't recommend doing this (unless it is somewhere you really want to go).

How do you decide who's job takes precedence? Do you take turns or go with whoever makes the most money?

Readers--your thoughts?

Thanks,
Kristy

Whoever makes the most money is one way to decide if job opportunities are about equal, but sometimes one partner's career choice is easier to accomidate than the other one.
For example, when my husband and I were first married, we lived in a city where there was a big pharmaceutical company. My husband was offered a job with them, but I was homesick and wanted to move back closer to home. I worked in a hospital laboratory and could get a job like that anywhere, but a job like the one I made my husband give up wasn't available back home. So, looking back, I probably should have sucked it up and stayed where we were.

Give yourself an out. Move to be with him, fine, but make sure it's someplace you actually want to be stuck if the two of you split up, and make sure you have a job, a place to live, etc. and aren't in trouble if he says "we're ending it, now move out." And always have a backup if that falls through.

You should never do something FOR your boyfriend like have a threesome, alienate yourself from your family, or make a life changing descision. Consult with yourself. Are there any oppotunities in you field in the new location, is it a location hat suits your personality, do you see your self with him forever?, does he respect you? do you respect him, do you know who you are as an individual as opposed to as a part of a relationship. Word to the wise never do something so drastic unless its for you or your family in absolutely dire straights.

As unmarried individuals, Your job takes precedence when you're the one who is deciding whether to stay or go. especially if his descicion is a;ready made.

When I was in college the first time, I DIDN'T go away to college because I had a boyfriend I didn't want to leave behind. That didn't work out. We eventually broke up and I ended up stuck in a dead end job.

When I went back to college a second time several years later, I decided to go away to college because it was the best choice for me (and my boyfriend had some options in the town I was looking at). I went to improve myself - my boyfriend coming along was just icing on the cake. We ended up getting married and are expecting our first child in a month!

I think that this is really similar to the "what to do AFTER college" thing. Either way, don't let a boyfriend be the determining factor on what is going to be best for you in the long run. Don't just have a back-up plan, have a plan where your life comes first. If the guy is the right one for you, he will be as happy for you as you will be for yourself and won't be going anywhere.