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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 479
Katja Offline OP
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Gecko
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 479
Na, he's a jerk. I know that.

This has taken its toll on me; without telling you the whole really long story it's hard to explain but it's dragged on for over a week now and been sort of a nasty breakup, still having a bit of trouble eating and sleeping. Definitely feeling better now than at first though.

But it's still damn hard. And I keep thinking I miss him and still love him, but that feels false because I know what I miss is what I thought we had, and what I love is what I thought he was, so I guess I really don't miss or love him at all.

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It is hard to trust people in these crazy, convoluted times. On the one hand, you would hope someone you are this serious about would not pull anything to jeopardize your serious relationship. On the other, he is a younger man who are known, at times, to, well, not be so manly.

Also, you feel bad about yourself and possibly the relationship for even thinking this way for you start to feel like "is our relationship really as strong as I thought for me to not be as trusting as I thought I was?"

Ultimately, you need to discuss this with him, tell him how you feel, and if he respects it going forward, you have a keeper.

Good luck!

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I'm really sorry. I know how confused, torn, angry, etc. you must feel. I'm sure you already know this, but it never hurts to hear it--you will get over him, and you will find love elsewhere. And it's okay to think that you loved him and that you miss him. Yes, you loved and are missing what you thought you had, but that was your reality at the time, and it's okay to miss that.

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