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Re: Single Parents How? #177568 10/05/06 04:31 PM
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AimeeMae Offline
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I got married to the father of my child when I was about 3 months pregnant. 3 months later he left me for his ex girlfriend. He came in with his family and a couple of trailers after a week of him being gone and took pretty much everything in the house except the bed and the table and all the cookware. I was devastated when he left and he had me convinced that it was all my fault that he had left. He drained our bank account on three different occasions before I smarted up and started a new account for myself. So there I was, 6 months pregnant, with hardly nothing in my home, a pud job (which I was unable to work a month later due to pre-term labor/ bedrest), and NO money. A friend who stayed with me took care of me while XDH ran around and did whatever with whomever. I had our daughter at the end of may this year a month early. He filed for the divorce a couple months prior and I am now fighting him for custody of the daughter he all but abandoned when she was still in the womb. She's now four months old. Our divorce has yet to be finalized, and I've yet to see a dime in support for her. He does see her on a fairly regular basis (court ordered). A couple hours a few evening a week. It's been tough. He's now engaged to the girl he left me for.... but really, can you be engaged if you're still married?? LOL.

Re: Single Parents How? #177569 10/10/06 06:51 PM
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Cynthia Parker Offline OP
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Aimee -

Sometimes you just want to scream, don't you? I am sorry that you had to deal with your soon-to-be-ex-husband's lack of decency; however, I am glad that you found out about his wandering, fickle ways now rather than 10 years into a marriage where you thought everything was good. I am sure that the stress he caused you did nothing to help with your difficult pregnancy. How are you and your daughter doing health-wise now? I hope that you are both well.

I wish there was some easy, logical advice that I could give you that would help, but in matters such as this, there is never an easy solution. With the court-ordered visitation, is it supervised? And what does your attorney tell you in regards to the custody fight? Make sure that the court knows that you and your daughter were abandoned by this man. It would be more than unfair for him to gain custody of your daughter after all you have been through.

Hang in there, Aimee!

Re: Single Parents How? #177570 10/12/06 08:56 PM
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AimeeMae Offline
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Cynthia,
Yes, I do very much want to scream sometimes. Honestly, sometimes I DO scream.... I excuse myself to my room and scream into my pillow. Probably not the most mature thing to do, but I do feel a little better afterwards, lol. My daughter is doing wonderfully health-wise. At her four month check up she was just about 13 pounds! Only the 35th percentile but when you start out at a mere 5 pounds, it's awsome! I am still struggling to keep my weight up to a healthy level. It's not that I am not eating; I'm just nursing therefor most of the nutrients I ingest go to her. I've increased my food intake and have actually stopped LOSING weight and am pretty much staying at my current weight. I expect to put my lost pounds back on as soon as I stop nursing. It's funny how most women struggle to lose their baby weight, and I'm struggling to put it back on!!
Unfortunatly the Exe's visitation is not supervised. It would be nice if it were. Mostly because the fact the house he's living at now isn't what many people would call clean (I have to bathe her when she comes home from there) and half the time I have to chase him all over town in order to get her back!!
OH!! We had court tuesday and he has decided to give up on fighting me for custody!! One less thing for me to have to worry about!! Thank you for your kind words and I will keep you posted as to the progress of my divorce!! Take care!

Re: Single Parents How? #177571 11/12/06 03:37 PM
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I became a single parent when my husband of 2-1/2 years left me to be with the woman he was seeing (actually, I asked him to leave once I knew). I was six months pregnant at the time with my first (and only) child. I wound up living back home with my dad for the first 5 years of my son's life, then moved away to another province to start life new. His dad, unfortunately, rarely took part in our son's life...which is the reason why I opted to move away. I could see how much it was hurting my son to be sitting there waiting for his father on a Saturday morning, and to have him not show up.

I went through a lot of struggles, pain, and hurt back then, but in looking back now (24 years later) would not change a thing. I stopped blaming my ex many years ago for everything, and let go of the anger as well, and for me, it was the best thing I could have ever done. I'm forever grateful for my son coming into my life, and although much of it has been hard, it most certainly has been worth it.

Re: Single Parents How? #177572 01/05/07 02:02 AM
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I am a single mom graduate student with a young daughter. I ended my relationship with her biological dad when I was 2 months pregnant due to his irresponsible behaviour and erratic actions... He met her for the first time when she was 3 months old, after I paid his bus fare. He just met her again this Christmas and New Year's when she was 20 months, after his parents pressured him to move closer to us and take responsibility for his actions. He has never paid child support... Is now making promises to do so and asking to be a part of our lives. However this is complicated by the fact that I recently started dating an amazing man who treats me and my daughter with utmost respect and admiration, gives my daughter the fatherly love and contact she never received from her biological dad, and has spoken seriously about wanting to adopt her as his own child down the road. I joined this group hoping to just have an opportunity to chat about the different challenges I experience, and really to get a chance to vent about my frustrations once in a while, I guess...

Re: Single Parents How? [Re: lucky_star] #290451 02/02/07 02:43 PM
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ReddogJill Offline
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Hi I am a single parent by divorce. My ex cheated on me from day one, But I didn't fid out til later. He was physical, emotional, and mentally abusive to me. At the time my son was 7 months old now he is 6 years old. His father just started to get supervised visits because of his abusive background. I am just starting to get my life back. It takes time to get over all the pain a person can cause in such a short time. I was only with him for 3 years and married for 2. I thank god and my parents for giving me the strenght, courage, and support to get out of a bad situation. Thanks for listening.

Re: Single Parents How? [Re: mommymystic] #290554 02/03/07 10:17 AM
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i am a single parent of 4 and a single grandma of 1, grandson is 22yrs old now and still with me ;o)


Rosie L
Re: Single Parents How? [Re: Cynthia Parker] #298102 03/10/07 12:01 AM
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Bernadette renee Offline
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I have been divorced for 13 yrs end of this month,i have one child who's deaf,
he hasn't sen his dad for about 12 yrsnow.\, my son will be 18 in apr
i home school him alsothis is his last year.my exhusband does pay child support
i m e and my son moved almost 2yrs now down south.

Bernadette renee


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Re: Single Parents How? [Re: Cynthia Parker] #304758 04/03/07 11:42 PM
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I am a 23-year old parent. I am married. I'm not single but I'm rasing my son by myself because my husband is serving over seas. I have a 3 month old son and a two 4 year old girls and my husband has never met my son. My husband was overseas for both pregnancies and has not been in my children's lives other then by mail or email. I've had to raise all three of my children alone. I may not be single but I understand the pressures of raisng children alone.

Re: Single Parents How? [Re: Jenny-lynn] #304809 04/04/07 04:54 AM
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Wow, reading your entries brings back memories. I was married for 4 years, had a daughter. Divorced, remarried had three more children. The first husband remarried also, and passed away at 33. The story is awful, and I feel for all of you. I was blessed when I remarried, he treated daughter #1 like his own, always. But he always respected that she was mine first. He really is amazing. I learned a few things along the way. The ex will do whatever they can to make you miserable, pay as little as possible, basically make your life hell. Social security came every month, on time, and was 4 x the amount of child support. Social security never wanted to fight, never wanted you to fix what they broke, and never wanted receipts from the doctor, etc. Isn't it sad when the government can actually be a better birth parent than the real parent? There are a lot of stories that went with this, just know you have to really think about your choices, because some day your child will grow up.

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