Hi JOSIE or whomever is online now. I have ONT been to this site for many months and I am reading here and it is amazing support and wisdom!!! If you do read this let's try to take this off line since we are going through similar things. FYI: I run my own business and I have a 6 year old so i do not have much time but i wilL MAKE the time if this is useful to all. I have to say that I too am considering divorce (WOULD LOVE feedback from Kathy if possible). I was in al-anon for 10 years (no kidding) and I moved to a small town in Canada and the meetings are crazy and boundary-less eg: people cross talk and comment on other shares during a meeting, the do NOT follow the steps. it is very sad. I will try other meetings but I do not have much time. I still read literature, pray and make al-anon calls here and there. I need my program. I have NOT been in program regularly for 6 years and I need it badly. I am trying to find an al-anon forum that i can FIGURE OUT online. Kahty, can you direct me. I need help I have done tons of healing in my life and therapy, al-anon and yoga are the best. i call it my "Trinity". This is for JOSIE: I did speak to 2 lawyers about the debt of a SPOUSE. This is the deal: If you did NOT SIGN his credit cards and if you are ONLY a "supplemental card holder" you are NOT responsible for his debt, period. Change your credit cards now if you can. Also, if you own the house together that could be a problem if you have a high mortgage. Further, try to take all of the ultilities OUT of your name if you plan to move out after a divorce. Make sure you look into all of the practical items before leaving. It is worth $300 to speak to a good divorce lawyer for an hour. Frankly, a bankruptcy lawyer is even better as they know all of the debt laws. I would also try to get some serious money in YOUR NAME only. Do you have any money from BEFORE your marriage - if so, he cannot touch it. Move it into a bank that he does not know about if you are planning on leaving or put cash in a safe deposit box. Sorry for this detail but you must protect your child and yourself. Debting can effect everyone. My husband is 13 years older (he is 60) and I even made a "creditor proof" Will for him because he is in so much debt. he did agree to this. I do not want some crazy [censored] after he dies. I refuse to clean up his messes. To be honest, his debting has gotten better in the past 7 years of marriage. I have basically "detached" spoken to lawyers and save my own money. He agreed to put mostly everything of value in MY name -eg: we will own our house in 1 year and it is my name. He ONLY did this for our child I do know that your situation is different because your husband under earns. You simply need to check all of the facts. Do not save too much money or you may owe him alimony! Check this with a lawyer. I am so sorry for your situation. Believe me, mine is crazy! Although my husband makes good money he is 60 years old and has NO savings or retirement. He just started this year after i bugged him. He does listen to me now but I am so exhausted with him and we have other major problems. I believe that he has a serious mental health issue eg: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and he will not get treatment. There are still some good things but mostly it is exhausting. I am 47 years old and trying to start over with a 6 year old. I have a "Plan" but i do NOT yet have the courage to leave. I need my al-anon back. I have lost my center. Sorry to go on and on but I need HELP!!! i would love to hear from kathy or josie. peace, Sarah