BellaOnline Forums Relationships Bereavement Where should a remarried widower be buried?

I feel that when someone dies, it is not where their body lies, but where their soul journeys that is important. Your present wife is hurt because she loves you and wants to keep you to herself, not share you with the past. Your children would be hurt if you were not "resting" together with their mother. I empathize with your situation and can feel the hurt and confusion on all sides there.

I think what your present wife is feeling now, about all the memories from your life with your first wife are being thrown at her and she is feeling a little like second place, pushed aside. You and her have committed to a life together and her importance in your life is (according to her) a little shaky right now.

The way I believe, none of this will matter when you are all in Heaven for the spirits will have nothing to forgive or be hurt about. All will be well at that time. The problem is the ones left here on Earth and how they feel.

It might be wise for you and your present wife to have some counseling with someone whom you both like and trust. Do you belong to a church? Are you both of the same religion? Do you know someone outside the family that you both could talk to? Some couseling on this issue may really help you, your wife and your children.

Personally, I feel your first wife is at peace and it does not matter to her where you are laid to rest for she will be with you when you pass over. The real issue is your present wife and how she feels. This is what must be resolved. Your children must understand that this is an issue between you and your present wife.

If it would please your children to have just your plague with engraving on it next to their mother after you pass on then maybe they would not mind that you will be laid to rest by your present wife. But - what if your present wife remarries after you are gone? Then where would she want to be buried? With you or her new husband?

No one can really give you an answer to this delemma. This is something you need to get some good advice and counseling on before you make a definite decision.

I hope there is some help for you in what I have written.