bmac2333, although I have never struggled with the decision to be childfree (I realized when I was about 16 that I did not want children), I wanted to give you some support that what you are going through is OK. It's OK to not want children, it's OK to be afraid of it, and it's OK to wonder if you are making the right decision.
Now in my mid-30s, I'm still happy with my decision, but I do struggle with the annoyance of people pestering me about being childfree. I think it takes a strong person to wait for the right mate who has the same view toward parenthood, and it takes a strong person to stand up against society's expectations that we all procreate.
I am fortunate to be surrounded at work by several childfree colleagues, many of whom are now in their 50s. They are happy, well-adjusted, friendly, socially responsible people who are an asset to their profession and to their communities. My point is that the childfree people I know have rich, fulfilling lives.
I wish you well as you continue to sort through your fears and beliefs.
