BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Can We Be Robots?

Can we be like robots? Say- evolved robots?

I will now feel depressed because my partner of twenty years has cheated me. After five minutes, I will never be depressed again.

I was looted yesterday. But so what? I have lost everything. So what. within a second I can decide to forget everything and start anew.

I love my sweetheart like mad. She/he loves me as madly. Today I lost my partner. So what, life goes on.

I am happy in whatever condition I may be.

I have nothing to eat, no where to go. No friends and no body to help. So what, I am happy with what I am .


This all sounds great. But first- It robs us of our essential human qualities.
Secondly in my opinion, this just can not be done by most of us.

Only somebody who has fully evolved can do that. And that kind of evolution certainly can not be done without Guru's grace. And that may takes many many years or seconds depending upon Guru's wish.

Well, it seems to me that you have answered your own question to your own satisfaction.
I happen to disagree, but then again, perhaps you knew i would, huh?

Dear das, I'm trying to think what to say. Am i right in what i understand of what you are feeling?

Theory is on the one hand (we can choose or feelings)... with what we feel, our humaness on the other? That "positive thinking" doesn't count if we're just hiding what we really feel?

I think, you are your own best guide on what you need to feel, and where you need to place your thoughts at this time. When sad things happen to us, we each process it a little differently. Maybe only Gurus need zero time for grief. I think positive thinking can help all of us... but when it's the right time for that... when you ready. And maybe this isn't the right time for you yet.

There's a difference between grieving loss that's happened fairly recently, and feeding an old sense of loss... and you aren't doing the second one now... you're just feeling natural sadness. That's okay.

I wish i could take away the things that happened to you and make it all better with magic words or a magic wand. I wish i could make things the way they were before when you were happy, or even better. You are a special, beautiful person and deserve the best. Your sweetheart was foolish. She didn't know the treasure she had.

das, I wish there were words to say that would lift you up and ease your pain. There are times when words seem inadequate, but I will try to answer your question...

To not let our heart grieve is to deny ourselves the passionate outlet we have been given. It is to deny our worth and place our feelings on the level of the unworthy.

No, we must let our heart grieve and validate its worth. Our grief must serve to remind us we are human; able to love and worthy of love.

It is our �thinking� we must not let run away on us. If we allow our thinking to turn against us, we run into trouble. Our thoughts should build us up and comfort us. If we question our worth, we know we are on the wrong track!

Grieve, mourn and wail, but do not deny your beauty and value as you do so. It is the one thing no one can take away. Even if you choose to deny it, it is never gone, only hidden. You are beautiful, talented and worthy of love no matter what any man or woman does or says to you.

We are not robots. We are human. We are each unique and beautiful in our own way. We all have a glory to share with this world. How can we live fully alive without giving our hearts permission to feel?

I am always comforted when I recognize I am never truly alone. There is one who is much bigger than I who is always watching over me. When I ask him to, he surrounds me with love. He sees my heartache and tears and will lead me down a path that will eventually fill every desire of my heart. I call him God, call him what you want, but know he is always there.

Love and warmth,

Tami

Holly,

Thanks for your response. Can we not generalize this post? Can we discuss? You, myself and tami?

Holly,

your every word is filled with love , care and compassion.
You are a very loving and intelligent person.

Holly, please publish your book ASAP.
I will buy some copies and distribute to my friends in India.
At least 100 copies.
Promise.

I have read most of the self help writers and you stand somewhere near Anthony robbins.

Holly, can you begin online counselling?
I get ideas when I see real intelligence.

Hey Tami,

What a lovely post.

You become an inspirational speaker.
All of us are talking about our potential and how to unleash that.
Why don't you do that?
How is your site coming up?

Bold text- I loved this.

Do I take it from this response that you would prefer I did not contribute?
The problem is, my friend, I am pushing your buttons.
You will not respond to my PMs so I cannot effectively discuss things as I would wish.
But you exclude me, because I am exposing some of your raw pain dearest friend, and it is uncomfortable. You don't wish to have to deal with my challenges, because it leads you to places you would rather not visit.
But the doors must be opened some time, you know.
Simply ignoring facts does not make them disappear.
Sometimes though, we need to face uncomfortable things. We all would love to enclose you and wrap you in words of comfort, Love, understanding and Compassion. And we do.
But occasionally, we also need to face some harsh facts.
remaining in a comfrot zone is all very well, but occasionally, by doing so, we fail to rise to the challenge of expanding our spirit to finally release it form the bonds which bind it.
And it's a struggle, and it hurts, but it needs doing.

no, I have no such issues with you Alexandra.
You are most welcome to contribute.

I did not respond to your PMs because I did not want to say yes to what you said and you get angry if somebody says - no.

when have I ever been angry?
And indeed, if I ever have, to what extent, and how has it continued?
I have never been angry with you in my PMs.
I just want you to know I am here for you, without judgement or pre-conceptions. Do you understand me, here?

If you perceive anger in my responses, I assure you, with all my heart you are mistaken, my friend.....

I will however admit to some personal frustration when I try hard as I might to indicate a true remedy to a given state, and people perceive I am either exaggerating or being unreasonable and untruthful.
But Anger?
No.
Never.....

Thanks Alexandra.

You're very welcome.

Hi das,

Thank you for the invitation to speak directly. How are you? What is happening with you now?

Like a rose blooming in the desert, I see your beauty even as you go through pain. It is interesting how even in tragedy, beauty is there. That's what happens when we open our hearts and recognize the glory in others and in ourselves.

You've been so kind in encouraging Holly and I. I smile at the words you say. Thank you for being an encourager! Have you been able to see your own beauty and glory in the midst of your grief?

You are no robot and neither am I. I am no stranger to grief. I feel for you and honour you at the same time. You have a wealth of possibility and resources stored within you. I have faith that you will find a way to rise up out of the dust and maybe later turn even this into an opportunity somehow.

On a different thread you mentioned something about beginning to be more aware of your feelings or intuition. I encourage you to watch your thoughts and only allow those to grow which build you up and NEVER tear you down.

I'm not sure how you are feeling about yourself at this time, but there is one thing I'm sure of. You need love at this time and you are the best person to give it to yourself. It is a great tragedy when we withdraw our own love for ourselves when we feel unloved by another.

I send warm thoughts of encouragement and love to you now. May you receive them.

Tami

das, you mentioned about being an inspirational speaker. What a compliment! Thank you. You have my coaching niche figured out!
I'm doing this one-on-one with women now, but at some point I have plans to do workshops and such.

I am really enjoying writing so I plan on completing some of that first. It can reach more women more effectively than just one-on-one. Why writing first? It's what I'm most passionate about right now.

Actually, I speak differently from how I write. I tend to be more practical and less poetic than I write here. This forum has been a great place for me to be free to "express" what comes to mind and not squash the poet in me. In my business, I am true to myself, but I choose more simple language to express the same powerful truths.

I'm really enjoying having my website, but I haven't been able to spend much time on it. I have a big deadline this Thursday for something else. I actually should be working on it now and not talking here. I better go!

Thanks for your "business coaching", das! Have you considered making a career of it?

No, I never considered that. First let me be successful. After that I will teach people.

That's kinda how i feel about it in my own case, das, even though people often like my advice and encourage me to coach now.

But you've gotten me thinking lately, and i don't think we should wait too long,... do you? What about if we figure out for ourselves at what point we'd be comfortable (what is our minimum), and then perhaps set a goal to reach there by a certain date?

Holly,

I am leaving this forum.
Mr. Mohatta is quite well now and he was avoiding the forum because
of some issues. I have asked him to come back and meet his old friends.

das i'm so very glad to hear Mr. Mohatta is better!

But very sad to hear you are planning on leaving! I learn so much from you, and you are one of the reasons i come here.

Did something happen?

Das has gone in depression again. He will not come to this forum. He told me he got very disturbed.

Holly,
shall I tell you something?
One can wait till eternity to prepare. Better do it immediately.
Begin your book now!

thank you.

I work on it a little. But i can't lead where i haven't gone.

Why not journey together?

What disagreement did you have?

that's between das and me.

Holly, you speak words of wisdom.

What exactly does it mean to be successful first? Define success. What needs to happen before you feel your message is valuable enough?

You and das have things to share that will benefit other people if you choose to share with them. Those who are looking for the answers you could help them find might feel they'd rather get their help NOW and not later.

Holly, regarding Coaching: Is it YOUR dream to be a coach?

If Coaching is your dream, there is something you should know. In Coaching school they taught us something I will never forget. They told us we didn't have to have it all figured out. We only need to be one step ahead of our client on the journey.

From what you've said, it sounds like you've come a long way on your journey! There are others who may enjoy the light you've carried ahead on the path. Do they care whether you've reached your destination? No, they just want to know where to take their next step.

The other thing you should know is that coaching is more about hearing what the client says and asking them questions that lead them to their own conclusions. You don't have to figure it out for them!

I took a little turn in counseling and I can tell you coaching is quite different. You don't tell the client what to do. You trust that the answer is stored within the client already. Together you do some searching and find the treasure within. It is very empowering for a client to discover it is they who already have the answers!

If you have any questions about coaching, I'd be happy to answer them. Holly, one thing I have observed by how you've shared yourself here is that you already have the signs of a fine coach. You're sensitive, you listen and you encourage

das, you have mastered the art of asking questions, which is incredibly valuable in coaching. You invoke people to share from their hearts. However, you also have a lot of valuable internet/business information to share. I'm not sure if I made a slip about using the word "coach" in that aspect, because "consultant" might be a better word. You be the judge of what fit would be better for you.

I cannot forget your dream of a Cancer hospital in India. Where does your greatest passion lie? Let your heart guide you.

So Holly, you talked about a time frame. That's an excellent idea. When were you thinking?

Someone might ask what this has to do with robots. It relates in that we are human. A robot might be built and sent off the production line complete. We are not robots and we are not perfect. If we wait for perfection before we follow our heart's desires, we could be waiting an eternity.

What does successful mean to you?

Hello Mr. Mohatta,

Since I am new here, I'm a little confused. Would you be kind enough explain? How are das and you related?

Please tell das I'm sorry to hear he is feeling low and hope his spirits pick up soon. I've enjoyed his posts. Please tell him I didn't realize he was "he" and that everything I said about inner glory/beauty is true for all. My husband hears it from me all the time! I just assumed Bella was all women.

When I make a post talking about women, I trust you will do the interpretation and get the universal truth behind it.

Tami, you are a blessing.

Don't think by this short post that your words have not had impact on me. Far from it... i feel i need time to think about them.

thank you.

Thanks Tami,

I will convey your wishes to my dearest friend.
And as holly says, you are a blessing.

Thank you both for calling me a blessing.

I look forward to hearing more after you've had time to think about it.

Hi, Tami,

please look at this-

BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

How can I call you a genius when I only just met you? I have to rely on what Holly says, she knows you better Now, Das, he's got some genius qualities (only mention it if will pick up his spirits).

hahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Holly is a great examiner and very intelligent person.
If she calls me genius that must have had very good reasons.
You must always rely on people like Holly.

And yes, I will convey what you said to Das.
He also calls me genius.

So, how about it?

Visit the genius cafe and we will find out! Perhaps Das will be ready to give his testimony soon?

As we have discovered on this thread, we are not robots, we are human. Every one of us is a genius at something, sometimes we just need to find out what that is.

Just for a moment, allow yourself to accept that you are a genius at something, but you need to accept the truth before it is revealed to you.

Close your eyes and tell yourself you are a genius, even if you have to pretend. Now ask yourself, "What has my heart been trying to tell me about my own potential?" You know there is something buried within, it is usually tied in with your desires.

After you have listened to what your heart tells you, ask yourself, "What am I really good at that I also really enjoy?" In fact, it might be something you consider as fun, instead of "productivity related". If you were given the time and opportunity, what would it take to become the genius you already are within?

That's a great exercise, Tami.

But what if we know our talents but feel emotionally obstructed from doing them?

If you know your talents, you need to overcome all your pain and sit down to work.

Holly,

I made all my websites with my sons when I was undergoing most pain. But unless I felt very bad, I worked.

You can begin writing your book. Why do not you do that?

I would ask what emotions are obstructing them in order to find a way around them. Sometimes, we don't need to remove the obstruction. We simply need to find a different way of going around it.

What happened with me? I found my wings when I looked at the bigger picture. I opened up to possibility and found the answer. It would never have come if I hadn't been thinking, "outside the box".

If you feel comfortable, I invite you to share what is obstructing you. Perhaps we can see things from a different perspective together.

Thank you, Tami. Yes i would.

I would say the obstruction is fear. I get very insecure when i start using my talents. I'm afraid of being noticed, of people around me then having heated emotions, of losing relationships, and of coming under severe attack and accusation.

If the fears were only while awake, i think i would feel more confident that i can progress through my fears by taking little steps. But unfortunately, whenever i take a step forward, the nightmares get worse. They can get worse well beyond the point where they are just unpleasant. They start to erode my ability to function by day, and then the whole thing comes down. It's like trying to build a brick building without mortar.

Like now. I think, because i am writing, and because i am learning so much from you and cd and others on the board and a friend of mine elsewhere, i am growing. I am moving, a little bit, out of my comfort zone. yesterday i started doing some preliminary for making art for a gallery. I've also made the decision to go back to school. But that has made my nightmares and sleep very disrupted. I probably have been averaging 4 1/2 hours a sleep at night for the last weeks. It gets harder to think clearly, and harder to be responsible towards myself. I've been doing stupid things... like procrastinating ordering checks when i ran out, so i will not have them when bills are due. The focusing affects my making the right decisions about my present priorities and I get more avoidance behavior of things that raise my anxiety. It is very stupid, but those are the kind of things that happen, each time i start to move forward and the sleep gets worse.

Those are two different questions, with two different answers. To address the second question, "successful enough" in the context of where i would like to be before i begin coaching, is
i would like to (myself) be better at what i think of as basic functioning skills in my community.

I didn't get my driver's license until i was 40. There is a long, complicated history behind that, but i worked through it and i got my license, and i was so proud. I didn't have a car though. A few years later, i got a wonderful dream job for which i needed a car. So i bought one and began commuting. It was scary, but i did it. But i was only on the job a month... their budget was messed up and they let me go and did not refill the position for a year (instead only contracting out by the hour absolute essential jobs)... even though the job i had was an essential position. So then i had car payments and no job. And i should have looked for work right away... i did actually, but half-heartedly. I was kind of messed up about applying for jobs, felt i was not "good enough." Still have a self esteem problem. So i teach... because then i work for myself and don't apply, and can't be fired or let down like that. But that's really not enough, and i feel i should work through my fear, and a few other avoidance behaviors, before i coach. I should be more financially stable too, i think, and i also have a buggaboo about phones (goes back to the stalking).

So i guess, that, essentially, makes up some of my present goals:

-get more comfortable driving
-be confident enough that applying for work is not a problem
-get comfortable receiving phone calls and phone messages again promptly
-get more financially stable, and where savings/investments are growing
-throw out any other odd avoidance behavior



That is a very convincing argument and it has stuck in my head. Helping others is a big motivator for me. I am very fortunate in having many "show through talents." Often the dilemma for me, has been in picking which direction to follow!

I have been thinking very seriously though, of returning to school, and in preparing for a future of coaching, writing, and lecturing.

I have received coaching myself... opted to try it after experimenting with therapy. My personal coaching experience happened to have been with someone who was also a trained therapist, and he had a practice before he decided to switch to coaching, so he could help people with forward thinking. He was with a very large, very well known organization with an excellent reputation. My experience with receiving coaching was interesting and difficult. My coach had some serious issues himself, and got too personally attached in me. He kept pulling my attention away from the three goals i'd set to work on in coaching and gave me additional problems, which i felt left me less stable. When i was in therapy, i set four goals. In 10 weeks i accomplished 3 and partially accomplished the 4th before ending therapy, with my therapist's blessing. In contrast, in coaching i set 3 goals and in a year accomplished none of them, not even a good start. His behavior at times teetered on the unethical. I would call him on it, so we actually did a lot of arguing! I eventually won, but it felt like a not-good marriage. hahaha I learned a lot from the experience... mostly in the form of "what not to do" and "what not to accept from others" and even made mental notes of, "how NOT to coach." But coaching itself, i still think is an absolutely GREAT idea!!! If i had any money, i'd find another coach this very second and sign up!!!

I am interested in coaching others. I think it would be enjoyable. It's a little scary to have that responsibility, but i think i could really help people. I think i would like to get a masters in psychology, but i would like to know more, Tami, about your coaching school. Perhaps that would be the shortest route to getting into practice and then i could work on psychology degrees additionally.

Thank you, Tami. It's good to know what others think of my posts, and i don't just like hearing the good, either. I value knowing how i can improve.

I'm currently working on a detailed, multi-goal plan for myself, at the urging of a friend who is a very good project director in his own business. I don't have goal dates on most of the stuff yet. I also need ways to measure improvement in some areas. I'm trying first to figure out my priorities for the rest of this summer... what i would like to accomplish by September... i have to figure out a new roof for the house too and i'm working to become more fit...and then after i have a plan for summer, i'll figure what will follow the next nine months. I need some information for setting some of the dates... schooling options, mostly.

Could you tell me more about your coaching education, most particularly how quickly you could enroll and how quickly you were able to begin coaching? Is it expensive?

I guess i would like to reach some of my goals no later than beginning to coach. In some cases, with this plan... i have to make some decisions soon as to whether i will prioritize or choose one option, or another. There is only so much time, of course, and in my case, only so much emotional energy before the nightmares make it too stressful for me to continue. I'd rather increase my tolerance for change and progress with a lot of energy and confidence, but if it is necessary to proceed slowly for me to get there at all, then i will. I'll do what it takes to get there.

Thank you so much, Tami, for your wonderful thoughts and knowlege! I feel so fortunate to know you and many others here at Bella, who have such valuable insights and experiences! I get so much out of it! Thank you.

Holly, I am truly honored that you feel I have a little part in your moving forward and that you are willing to share even more with me now.

The first question I would ask is in regards to your fear and your belief system. From what you've said it sounds like you have a very strong belief system that isn't working for you.

One of the things I do with clients is ask them if they want to create NEW belief systems based on who they are now, in this very moment. Part of creating a life that reaches our full potential is changing our belief systems to fit the new life we want.

I've used this idea of creating new belief systems personally and it has worked very well for me. It has also worked well for my clients. I do find most of the belief systems have fear attached to them. (Mine sure did!)

For the purposes of this forum, I will assume you have decided you DO want to create a new belief system. (Please tell me your decision when you respond later.)

We do this by looking at your current specific belief system for a short moment, and only to understand when you established the belief (the WHY is not important so much as understanding what the belief is that we'd like to change). From now on, I will call this current belief system the "old belief system" because you will be making a new one.

We'll go through this process a few questions at a time:

In your words, what statement would accurately define your old belief system around using your talents? (Like cause and effect for example)

I'm going to ask you to take a momentary leap of faith. Pretending your fears don't exist, just for a moment, what would be your ideal belief system about using your talents? What positive thing do you WANT to believe would happen? Write a statement that would define that new belief system.

I don't want to get too far ahead, so I'll wait for your reply before going further.

Warmly,

Tami

P.S. Would this series of posts make a good new thread? We're kind of off the "robots" topic and it might be easier for others to follow along for their own self development as well.

I'll be happy to respond to your other posts later since I have other commitments at this time. Gotta Go!

Yes, Tami. When i had a coach, i told him the first day i wanted to replace some beliefs that weren't working well for me with ones that would be more beneficial. He took me through some exercises, and these are the ones i came up with. Though he did not suggest it, i particularly wished to have ones that ...i don't know how to describe this... but that for the most part were tied to my actions, so that the power was more in my lap... do you know what i mean? These are the beliefs i picked, and you will see one of them has to do with talents:

I am eager to celebrate my gifts and offer them to the world.

I fully support my happiness and success through my focused actions and thoughts.

I enjoy expressing myself freely and confidently, in harmony with my desired outcome.

I openly embrace the abundant happiness my life has to offer.

I transform all in my path into good luck.

The more i am my true self, the closer i draw my true love.

I choose to be confident, optimistic, and cheerful.

I am loving and open to receive love in all of my relationships.

I am free to follow my heart and enjoy being and revealing my true self.

The power to determine my destiny is in accepting full responsibility for who i am, my circumstances, and my future.

Well, Tami, cd, everyone... how am i doing on these things? You can probably see better than i, if i have been behaving these last months in accordance with these beliefs or not. So am i?

Holly, thank you for sharing your desired belief systems with all of us here. You have a great level of awareness. It was wonderful to read beliefs that empower you. I get what you mean by putting the responsibility in your hands. Of course you know that I agree wholeheartedly with your belief, "The power to determine my destiny is in accepting full responsibility for who i am, my circumstances, and my future."

I have been able to see some of these belief systems in action from what you have shared. What is even more important is whether you feel you are operating from these belief systems you set. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate where you are now compared to where you want to be following these beliefs in every area of your life?

**********

Now, I must return to the original belief system around your current fear. For this is the one you indicated is tripping you up. We must get very specific.

What is this current belief that is keeping you from all you want to express and be in this world? It is very important to define it so that you may begin to take its power away and restore the power back to you. (I assure you this is not to focus on the negative that has happened in your life). Once you define it, we can figure out what to do with it. (Sometimes it is as simple as breaking your current agreement with the old belief system, but we will get to that after.)

Holly, I will get back to the rest of this post later, but I've run out of time again. My in-laws are here from out of town and every minute seems filled right now.

I thought I'd give you the link to the Coaching School I went to. I explored a lot of programs before choosing it and I would personally do this program again, but not for all the reasons you might think. It will be able to answer more questions later.

http://www.coachtrainingalliance.com/

I'll warn you that they kind of misrepresent how much work it is to go through the program. It's a lot more than they lead you to believe. However, it doesn't take long to get started and it's only about 6 months for the initial certification.

If you suddenly get inspired to enroll, email me first because the instructors are all different and you may like one's style over another. Feel free to ask more questions and I'll do my best to answer them.

Once you're on your way, you could easily pursue your psychology.

Holly, why do you want to join a coaching school?

Holly, I've made comments in your post below...

Tami, thank you so much for your posts. I will do my best to answer your questions.

For convenience of reference, I have numbered each of the beliefs, #1-#10. You asked me to rate how well I think I�m doing on each on a scale from 1-10. I put my score to the right of each.

#1 I am eager to celebrate my gifts and offer them to the world. 3

#2 I fully support my happiness and success through my focused actions and thoughts. 7

#3 I enjoy expressing myself freely and confidently, in harmony with my desired outcome. 5

#4 I openly embrace the abundant happiness my life has to offer. 6

#5 I transform all in my path into good luck. 4

#6 The more i am my true self, the closer i draw my true love. 2

#7 I choose to be confident, optimistic, and cheerful.
Optimistic - 7 Cheerful - 8 Confident - depends on what the circumstances are. In teaching or making art, it would be a 9. In some other situations I would rank my confidence as high. But in some ordinary circumstances relating to trauma, it may be as low as a 1.

#8 I am loving and open to receive love in all of my relationships. 3

#9 I am free to follow my heart and enjoy being and revealing my true self. 1

#10 The power to determine my destiny is in accepting full responsibility for who i am, my circumstances, and my future. 8

All the scores are better than I would say they were a few years ago when I selected them. I particularly worked on #2, #4, and #7. You also asked which of these have to do with my night terrors. The night terrors aren�t on particular topics, but I know what they are from, in general terms... from when they disappeared. #1, #6, and #9 are most closely related, as is the confidence aspect of #7, and an overall sense of security... though I didn�t write a belief for security. I don�t know if #8 is involved or not.

Tami asked: What is this current belief that is keeping you from all you want to express and be in this world? It is very important to define it so that you may begin to take its power away and restore the power back to you. (I assure you this is not to focus on the negative that has happened in your life).
I know, Tami. And I�ve been thinking about this. I would say my fear is that there could be more trouble, like that which I have experienced before, for being free. Is that enough? Can you offer some suggestions on how to be more specific?

Tami asked, Is what you have to gain worth more than what you have to lose?

It should be an easy question to answer, but actually it�s tough. Feeling free to be yourself and being at your best (flow)... for me, is like heaven. I can�t even describe how wonderful it feels. I want it more than anything else. There are no night terrors, then, either. But at the time in my life when I was most like that, my life became in great danger directly because of living my authentic self... I don�t want this to sound melodramatic, but several people feared I might be murdered and plans were starting to be made for me to run and start a new identity (under the urging of others, not my idea). Obviously I was not murdered and survived, but the losses I did experience were quite extensive... quite!... and I reached a point where I was completely devastated and emotionally broken beyond what I thought possible. There were other times in my earlier life, too, that I experienced significant hardships for speaking up or being independent, or just for being noticed as special.

I�m not sure that changing my belief in this area is necessarily the way to go for a solution. This is not my case, but say for example someone was in danger in their relationship... would you want them to change their belief so they believed they were safe even though they weren�t? No. That the same thing would happen to me again that did before, or even something very similar, is astronomically unlikely! But it IS likely that there will sometimes be some trouble as a result of my �living large and living true,�...it�s happened too consistently to think no bad things will happen as consequence... and I need adequate ways of dealing with it rather than to try to change my belief to something like nothing will happen. Whatever solution I find, I think needs to reflect real possibilities in life. I don�t want to work towards holding a belief that would be shattered when something comes along that proves my belief isn�t true, and even potentially would put me in harm�s way. So that�s the dilemma. I DO desperately need a stronger sense of security and safety, in order to improve my ability to thrive. A sense of security is one of our 6 basic needs. I just don�t know how to go about it and get that feeling back

Tami asked: Does your ability to sleep without nightmares depend on the time of day or night you are sleeping? For example, what happens when you nap during the day to make up for lost sleep at night?
No. If it�s going to happen, it will happen every time I try to sleep regardless of time of day or many other factors. It will usually begin within just a few minutes (sometimes instantaneously) upon falling asleep.

Tami asked: Besides lack of sleep, what other power do these nightmares have over you?
It takes time to shake it off when I wake... in other words, I�m depressed or frightened when I first wake, but usually only for about an hour. The links cdmohatta provided showed me this is typical of night terrors. I sometimes have more anxiety when I�m tired (from disrupted sleep)... whether that�s related to it or not I don�t know, but I�ve learned ways of dealing with anxiety to some degree.

Tami asked: So you've noticed a specific pattern when you begin to move forward. Have you noticed anything that trips up that pattern?
Do you mean interrupts the pattern between moving forward and then the nightmares undermining gains? Great idea, but unfortunately no, I have not noticed any. When I�m having �a jag� (that�s what I call it when the nightmares get bad for a little while)... I get dull-witted and can�t really think clearly enough to notice how the process changes. Focus disappears. If I lived with someone I�d ask them for observations, but unfortunately I don�t.

Tami asked: If you could only pick ONE thing, which one [talent] would have the most positive or powerful impact in your life?
When I was able to reach my authentic self before, one of the most distinguishing features of it......was that I was whole in a new way... and there was a lot of synergy between my talents... ways of combining things I�d never imagined before. I also had a much greater ability to focus and prioritize, and dramatically, to make decisions. I�m a bit tired at the moment so I�m having trouble explaining.... perhaps I should think more on this and the last question before answering.

Tami, I�m just so amazed by your generosity here. You�re offering me quite a bit of your time and expertise. Are you sure I�m not imposing? If you are enjoying this or think it will help promote your services I hope you will continue... but I don�t want you to feel obligated. Thank you for your questions and comments today... it has gotten me to think of things in fresh ways.

Thank you so much,
~holly

I like helping people.

I also need to think of my future.

I am not committed yet to a decision... i have been leaning towards a regular university. But i thought i would look into this as an option. Your thoughts?

We've moved on a way from the original question of "Can we be Robots?" haven't we?

Well, I'd like to get back to that.

I have received a number of fairly vitriolic, spiteful and frankly quite nasty PMs from some members of this forum, in which I have been attacked for being insensitive, uncaring, tactless and thoughtless. I have been told (not "It has been suggested", but very definitely, 'I have been told') that I have no concept or understanding of people's emotions, feelings or mental states. Believe me, some comments have been less than 'lady-like'... to say the VERY least....

This is because I have found solutions - permanent, definite working solutions, tried and tested over nearly three millennia - to the Ties that Bind Us.
They have not only worked for me, but for countless thousands of other people, many of which I am sure, have mental clinical conditions requiring (or that have required) medical treatment.
I lead a meditation class, and one particular man, who has suffered from Bi-polar since his teens, is now almost off all of his medication. He attributes this entirely to meditation and his study and following of Buddhism.

Now jut hold on a moment - You don't have to be Buddhist to accept the philosophy. I'm not out to convert anyone here. It's not a question of "you can only benefit from this if you become Buddhist." Buddhism is after all, the only religion on Earth that has no God, so you don't even need to leave one faith for another, here. That's not what all this is about....
But I digress.

According to das' first post, the state of inner happiness, and abandonment of outer conditions and suffering, is unattainable by the "ordinary person in the street." he says:


Firstly, he's missing the point.
to be able to detach from the suffering surrounding us, and accept it for what it is, without permitting it to disturb our inner sanctum of serenity, is not to be dehumanised. it is to actually become more Human and complete that a person who clings to suffering and unsatisfactoriness under the illusion that this is Life and that we need to have it this way in order to function.
Secondly, It CAN be done. I have seen it done.
I do it myself.


It has taken me - and others like me, a lifetime. In fact, I would argue, several lifetimes.
But I disagree that a Guru is vital or necessary to this process.
I have never had a solid, tangible Guru. Neither did the Buddha. he was a self-made enlightened individual, but it took him 6 years, in his lifetime of enlightenment.
I would never claim to be thus, let me quickly add.
But I DO "Get it."

Sadly, my efforts to try to help, support and assist people to Ehi Masseiko" - To come and 'See for themselves' - has been met with - shall I say? - a certain amount of derision, resistance and even hostility. Why should this tried and tested practise, cause such unkindness, derision and ridicule from others? It's not my philosophy. I didn't invent this, and neither am I the only - or first - person to benefit from it.

To say that I know how to not carry the suffering of daily life around with me, as a millstone, is true.
To say that I am able to see suffering and pleasure for the "Two Impostors" they are - is also true.
To say that I am mindful and Present in the Here and Now, to the greater - rather than lesser - degree, during the day, is further True.
But to say this makes me a Robot is about as far from the truth as anyone could get.
Because - and I hope those who are responsible might be reading this - if your barbed comments, criticisms and words were designed to hurt, wound and upset me - Then you succeeded.

But not for long.
Because you see, I am able to abandon this hurt too, and to let it drop as being inconsequential, illusory and devoid of any substance worth worrying about.
That would apparently make me a 'Robot' in das' eyes.

Being able to remain in a state of Serenity and Inner Joy does not mean you are devoid of feeling or emotion. It doesn't mean you are completely insensitive to the words and actions of others. it doesn't mean that you are inured or invulnerable. It does not "rob us of our essential human qualities". It doesn't make you a 'Robot'.
I have never said it is easy. I have never said it's effortless. I have never said that it's only for the chosen few.

But it does mean that the more you practise, the more you are able to come though it and emerge smiling, on the other side, far, far more quickly, effectively and honestly than before.

Thank you.

If this comment is of no interest to you, and you'd like to continue with the previous topic this flowed into, then please feel free to do just that. No response is either necessary, or sought.
I just thought I'd try to clarify matters, because I don't see why I should be expected to accept all the criticism, insults, animosity and spite I have had to endure, with no outward comment or attempted clarification.

Alexandra,

I'm sorry you've received such emails. But i don't see as the bickering was any part of the original "Can We Be Robots?" topic either. Your argument with others has been carried through many posts... and people not concerned keep abandonning those discussions to try to get away from the childish arguing. Bringing us back to that argument yet again, is helpful to no one as it is clear it cannot be resolved. It is making you lose your audience for what other things you wish to say. I am tired of this argument and don't find it healthy for me to read, so i thought i would let you and others know, that when i read any slightest mention of it from any of the parties arguing, i will not read the rest of their post.

Yes, the discussion Tami and i are having now is not part of the original topic of this thread... sometimes conversations digress to other topics naturally and with enjoyment. Tami suggested moving our conversation to a new post and we can do that if it interferes with any true discussion of "Can We Be Robots?"... however it is convenient for us to be able to refer back to and quote things that have already been posted here.

Alexandra, I would advise that you answer the PMs the way you want.
Why make a long post about it in this thread?

You want to join University to learn some skills?
Which skills?

You are a very good writer.
You can be a good inspirational teacher.
You are very good at knitting, cooking etc.

What are the areas you are looking at to develop your skills?

Let me tell you one thing-

Unless you are secure with your future, helping others will not work.
First help yourself and be secure.
Both financially and emotionally.

I read the long post you made about Tami and your conversation.
Could not understand that fully.
What were you trying to say?

Can we speak about your goal thus-

I want to learn skills so that i make enough money. So that I feel that I will continue making money.

I want to have a partner with who I can share rest of my life.

I have had enough suffering. I want some love, peace and security now.

Holly, are you washing your feet before going to sleep?
How about the direction?
Do you sleep with your head in the north?

Hi Holly,

Tami asked: What is this current belief that is keeping you from all you want to express and be in this world? It is very important to define it so that you may begin to take its power away and restore the power back to you. (I assure you this is not to focus on the negative that has happened in your life).
I know, Tami. And I�ve been thinking about this. I would say my fear is that there could be more trouble, like that which I have experienced before, for being free. Is that enough? Can you offer some suggestions on how to be more specific?

Why do you fear more trouble? From where? Pl. tell me. I am not getting you.

Holly,

You wrote-

Tami asked, Is what you have to gain worth more than what you have to lose?

It should be an easy question to answer, but actually it�s tough. Feeling free to be yourself and being at your best (flow)... for me, is like heaven. I can�t even describe how wonderful it feels. I want it more than anything else. There are no night terrors, then, either. But at the time in my life when I was most like that, my life became in great danger directly because of living my authentic self... I don�t want this to sound melodramatic, but several people feared I might be murdered and plans were starting to be made for me to run and start a new identity (under the urging of others, not my idea). Obviously I was not murdered and survived, but the losses I did experience were quite extensive... quite!... and I reached a point where I was completely devastated and emotionally broken beyond what I thought possible. There were other times in my earlier life, too, that I experienced significant hardships for speaking up or being independent, or just for being noticed as special.

I�m not sure that changing my belief in this area is necessarily the way to go for a solution. This is not my case, but say for example someone was in danger in their relationship... would you want them to change their belief so they believed they were safe even though they weren�t? No. That the same thing would happen to me again that did before, or even something very similar, is astronomically unlikely! But it IS likely that there will sometimes be some trouble as a result of my �living large and living true,�...it�s happened too consistently to think no bad things will happen as consequence... and I need adequate ways of dealing with it rather than to try to change my belief to something like nothing will happen. Whatever solution I find, I think needs to reflect real possibilities in life. I don�t want to work towards holding a belief that would be shattered when something comes along that proves my belief isn�t true, and even potentially would put me in harm�s way. So that�s the dilemma. I DO desperately need a stronger sense of security and safety, in order to improve my ability to thrive. A sense of security is one of our 6 basic needs. I just don�t know how to go about it and get that feeling back.

Pl. could you let me know a little more about the fears in your mind now?
I will help you remove this block. But I need to understand more.

because I am tired for being victimised and criticised for telling the truth.



And these are the kinds of things that make us Robots.

But people don't like it when I point things like this out.
They become defensive. They say I don't understand, or that I'm being heartless, unreasonable, dishonest or at best, a 'party-pooper'

Nobody ever says -
"Gosh Alexandra, that's really interesting! tell me more!" because they don't want to either hear it or face it.

But it's true.

#1 I am eager to celebrate my gifts and offer them to the world.

#5 I transform all in my path into good luck. 4

#6 The more i am my true self, the closer i draw my true love. 2

#8 I am loving and open to receive love in all of my relationships. 3

#9 I am free to follow my heart and enjoy being and revealing my true self. 1

Holly, I have selected your goals/objectives with lowest score.
this is revealing-
You score 1 in-

#9 I am free to follow my heart and enjoy being and revealing my true self. 1

We can divide this in two parts. One- I am free to follow my heart
and Second- enjoy being and revealing my true self

Where do we go from here?

To follow one's heart, one must have enough money. that gives independence.
Revealing true self- Why are you afraid of that? what if you reveal yourself? Somebody will hurt you?

I am looking at the central point of destruction and try to mend it so that everything else gets taken care.

In your personality the thing that is obstructing you is insecurity and fear. this is getting escalated by loneliness.

How do we work on this?

Holly, I've started a new thread to continue our conversation on. Please refer to "Freedom To Reveal Your True Talents" to see my replies.

I'm happy to continue the conversation "Can We Be Robots?" with anyone else on this specific thread.

Hi Holly,

Are you not coming back here?
I have made many posts for you.

My life has been a big bowl of (4 letter word that starts with s that is censored here) but still I would not want to be a robot. Even if reality sucks I want to be in it and feel everything.