I'm utterly disgusted with the mother on Dr. Phil today. She says "My dad DEFINITELY sexually abused me as a baby and a child, and was physically abusive with me." So what does she do when she had a kid? LETS HIM STAY OVER THERE OVERNIGHT WITH GRANDPA! Seriously, you have to be brain damaged to not think "If this person did that to me, they'll do it again to someone else.". Now her kid is 12 and sexually molesting other kids. Freakin' DANDY.

I forgot to say, I'm also disgusted with that woman's mother, because SHE SAW her husband molesting their daughter and didn't promptly castrate him.

Yes, that is unforgivable. Turning a blind eye to such abuse is just as morally reprehensible as carrying it out.

Dr. Phil is an egomaniac and a farce. I don't even think he's licensed in CA and I know he isn't in Texas! Poor guests, these people need real help!

That is really disturbing if there is a known pedophile and a woman knowingly puts her child into his care overnight whether she's related to him or not. To me that's time to call in child services ...

He can be a joke at times, but he DOES refer them to real help after the show at least. As far as I know anyways. Regardless, he isn't the one who put that woman up to do something so insane as to let her kid even SEE the man who molested her, never mind let him stay with him!

Not that I am condoning anything, but I thought she said she only started remembering the abuse in her late 20's.. well after she let her kid stay there. Am I recalling that correctly?

I didn't catch that if that's the case. (I'm at work so when a customer comes in I have to help them) IF she didn't remember (and o.k., maybe she wouldn't remember sexual abuse as a 4 year old and an 8 year old) then it wouldn't be so much an onus on her as long as she immediately cut off all access to her son from her father which I don't think she did. However, how could she forget being beaten severely as a 14 year old? Getting thrown down the stairs and beaten so badly with extension cords that the welts are there for weeks seems to be something I remember, and I know I wouldn't go anywhere near someone who beat the hell out of me like that, never mind let them near people I care for.

Then there's HER mother, who had no such forgetfulness. She KNEW her husband molested her daughter, but decided to leave things as they are so she wouldn't rock the boat.

I'm sure she remembers being beaten.. maybe she (stupidly) didn't think grandpa would do that to her son as well. I remember they said she left her son there while she "got her life together". I'm thinking she was quite young when she had her son and maybe didn't feel like there were any other options.
Her mom is awful. She openly admitted she didn't want to mess up her lifestyle and lose everything for the sake of the kid.

::shudders:: That was on another show too, the mom married to a military guy and they lived on an army base in another country. She didn't want to mess things up so she didn't do anything about her daughter getting molested by her husband. It just seems insane to me to let things drift like that! Even if I didn't know where to go, I'd fight first and worry about the details later. Living on the street would be better than letting someone I cared about getting hurt over and over.

Seriously.. why have kids if you're gonna treat 'em like dirt? In both of these cases, the moms as well as the dads should be hauled off to jail.

That's disgusting and shameful. But this kind of thing happens way too often. My best friend when I was growing up was sexually abused by her grandfather and when she told her mom, her mom called her a liar. She said "well he didn't molest me and my sisters when we were growing up, why would he start with you"
I hated that woman. She was a B from hell.

I think the issue with the daughter is that she's done some things that aren't exactly credible. She lied about her father at one point, claiming that he'd impregnated her when he didn't. This makes it difficult to accuse her father of anything since she's already invalidated herself.

She says that she didn't remember the abuse until she was older, but I would think that she'd still have enough of a sense of wrong with her father to keep her son away from him. From the things that they were saying, it sortof seems like she just gave up and walked away from her responsibilities, at the cost of her son's well-being.

Also, whenever she was asked a question she would just cry and cry, and maybe she was legitimately upset, but I also wonder if she wasn't trying to avoid being questioned too hard.

It's one of those sad situations where none of the authority figures has it together enough to be able to tell the story straight, and I seriously doubt that any of them should have custody of that boy.

It truly disturbs me to hear these kind of things. My fiance works for child protective services, and he sees some very painful situations on a day-to-day basis.

People who harm their children or put them in harm's way, utterly disgust me. You don't have to be a parent to know that a parent's first duty is to protect their kids. And they say the CF are supposed to be cold, and selfish? I beg to differ.

This makes me really sick on so many levels. I just can not believe or even understand a woman or man that stays with someone and says nothing when they know that they have a problem. I always put my kids safety first. I agree that why have a child or even keep the child for that matter if you are not willing to "Parent", it's so sad.

There was a second part to the show where the grandfather took a lie detector test. Before the test he said "BRING IT ON!" and said that he thought the test was very fair. When the test said he was lying about not sexually touching his daughter except for that one time (Oh I didn't mention that? He says "Oh yes, I molested her, but ONLY when she was a baby and NEVER again. Oh, and yeah I molested my brothers, and my sister but NEVER again! 'Cause I found JEESUS!"), lied about not sexually touching his grandson, THEN he's all "I'm in the 7% of malfunctions, that machine is wrong, and god knows it, and I summon Jesus here to prove I'm wrong!"

I sincerely hope that someone ganks that guy with a rusty shiv after the show. You could practically feel the mental ooze sliming off of him. ::shudders::

What kills me is his wife seemed baffled by his denials. "Why can't you remember doing it?" (at least she believed her daughter and not him) Dr. Phil pointed out "Did you ever think he might be LYING?" She says yes, kinda...The thing is, what is WRONG with you that you'd stay with a child molester? Would anyone here lack that much self-esteem, morals and will that they'd just drift along with one?

One thing that had me nearly screaming at the t.v. is that the grandfather kept proclaiming that he's not a child molester, because he doesn't do it anymore. That's like an alcoholic claiming because they haven't drunk they're not one anymore, or a gambler not gambling lately that they aren't. You're ALWAYS one of those things once you're in that category, you can only be "a reformed ____", but it's still there. That's why child molesters can't be near kids, and alcoholics taste any booze, they KNOW they lack any self control with it so they have to cut it off completely.

I understand the whole unconditional love thing that you feel for your spouse. I understand the fear that an older woman might have in divorcing her husband and having to make it on her own. I get that. But I could never, ever justify spending my life with someone who abuses kids (or anyone else for that matter), especially my own kid.

Oh yes, if I were in her situation I'd be broken hearted and shaken to my core, devastated in fact. AFTER I had finished cutting his nuts off.

I couldn't have said it better myself, GreyDrakkon!

I think it's hard to understand an abusive situation if you've never been in one. If you spend some time in the domestic violence forum - and the abuse survivors forum - you'll find that it is a long, very painful, very traumatic process to separate yourself from an abusive person. It's not easy at all.

One stat I found said that in the US alone, four women a day die at the hands of an abusive partner. Rarely is this the "first time" the guy got upset with her. Women are beaten every day. There are ALL sorts of reasons that they don't run off to "safety".

This is an incredibly important, serious issue in the US and in the world. If it upsets you, there are MANY things you can do to help. Post in the two forums mentioned and we will give you hundreds of ideas on how to make a positive difference in the world. Being upset with women who are trapped is rarely helpful - but if you use that same energy to take positive action, you can literally save lives.

To make it even easier for everybody, here are the links -

Domestic Violence forum -
BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

Children who are abused can literally not remember any thing at all about the abuse - including beatings - for self preservation reasons. It is too much for their mind to handle so they block it off. I know several people in this situation.