Thank you for "God Disrupted My Plans". It came at a good time, or I should say I found it at a good time (this morning). I came home from a not quite 2-day camping trip yesterday and being too tired (more emotionally than physically) to unpack the RV and "move" back into the house, I spent the night in the motorhome. My mind was in turmoil, which is sadly too often the case after spending a couple of days non-stop in a compact space with my TBI-survivor husband. Although I love him as much as ever I did, his traumatic brain injury nearly eleven years ago makes life a lot more challenging. We tend to manage much better when we have more "personal space" than our RV provides us.
In spite of this, we try to go camping at least a couple of times each summer. One time, we got carried away and planned a 7-day trip with a lot of driving involved. We turned around and came home on the 4th day. We didn't try that again - it was just too much for Jer. Sometimes our [shorter] trips work out well and we come home feeling relaxed if not quite brimming with the joy of life. Other times, it is a total disaster, with Jerry getting overwhelmed by a combination of the changed environment and routine, something not going according to plans (weather often throws him for a loop, especially if he had his heart set on setting up the grill outside) or he just becoming overtired. I've learned not to take trips with Jer that are more than 4-5 hours from home, so that I can get him back home if things go sideways. Between Jerry and God, it seems my plans are often disrupted. I've learned to listen to both of them and go with the flow.
This trip fell in the middle range - there were no big melt-downs, but it was windy and not good grilling weather. Jer was bored, so I was unable to truly relax. I had planned ahead for a possible lack of wi-fi (no TV or internet); we had DVDs to watch, radio to listen to and games and puzzles to keep us occupied. Hot soup and pan-grilled ham & cheese sandwiches were yummy, with morning eggs and left-over ham starting out our last day well. Still ... after only 24 hours, Jer was eager to get on the road and head home. I'd hoped for at least one more day, but didn't say anything. I was exhausted from trying to keep him busy - my ideal camping trip includes lots of silence, long dog walks and listening to a good audio book.
As soon as we parked at home, Jer was out and heading for the house. I cleaned up and went in to check on him - he was sound asleep on his recliner with the TV on full volume and his computer up and running. I went back out to the RV, where it was at least quiet.
Back to my thoughts last night. I'd been tossing and turning, trying to reconcile with my desire to travel and camp in the wilderness and Jer's inability to enjoy this pastime (one he used to enjoy as much I me back before his accident). I tend to feel guilty going off without him, but he seems fine with it and I honestly NEED the decompression these trips alone provide me. I really wanted to just turn the RV around and head back off down the road, but that would have been ... rude? Heartless? Sigh. Then the rain started ... I love the sound of rain on the roof of our RV. It settled my mind and allowed me to still my thoughts and be in the moment for a while. It was just what I needed. Thank you, God, for the rain and the night of peaceful contemplation it allowed me.
I will take more trips this summer - traveling within my home state in my RV is almost as safe as staying at home in this age of Covid-19. Jer will mostly stay home where he can putt around in his shop, watch TV and have his computer close at hand. They say God doesn't give us bigger challenges than we are able to handle ... I sometimes wonder about that, but so far, so good. Thanks for listening. :)