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First, in reply to your topic question:

My level of stress today was to TRY to make it ZERO!
Even though I lack sleep and sleep deprived, I will try hard not to let it get in all my routines for today!

How am I going to do it and doing it right now?

As always, I started my day with prayers and meditation. In meditating, i fill my mind with these thoughts:

Just for today, I will not get angry;
Just for today, I will not worry;
Just for today, I will not be kind to ALL beings;
Just for today, I will not work in all honesty;
(The above phrases were are called Reiki principles. A meditation chant I learned when doing yoga.)

Before, when my late husband was alive (Yes. I'm a widow for over 15 years), I would always kiss him on the lips, in his cheek and forehead. Next was my routine exercise.Then, have a hearty yet very healthy breakfast meal. And off to other things I need to do within the day. Keeping in mind and heart the above meditation chant.
it sure does wonders not only in personal outlook in life but most efficiently in handling my everyday stress.

In reply about how mothers are:
[quote=Nancy Roussy]having an attitude .... so now I will do with her like I do with dad which is do what I have to do while acting like he is not there so she too will get that same treatment. [/quote]

It is best that you move away from her tantrums and attitude. Mentally and physically, she has been through A LOT! You may never just know or understand it but believe me, as a mother too, i have been through those phases in my life where my child, husband and the rest of those around me never undestand. its called hormonal imbalance. Everyone of us goes with such phase, just that mothers like your mom and me has the most triggers than men and other people in this world. Please try to understand her and never be so impatient for really there is 'something going on inside her.' Instead, help her to cope with it by not getting through her. Try not to aggravate her emotions for sometimes this condition in her could trigger untoward physical reactions that we might regret later if we will pursue heated arguments and all.

Best of all, try to make things lighter by hugging, kissing her and have that light talks by talking light conversations like perhaps some celebrity news, pets or any topics that will make her mellow down.;)

I wish and pray, it will work for you, the way it did to me. :)

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Amie,

Both of my parents are monsters. They have always been like that. They enjoy being like that. They once had a few positives inside of them and late 2009 they both decided to get rid of these tiny positives inside them and be full and total monsters.

It is not up to kids to make things better for their parents. I do not care what you suffered in your life if you are not 100% sure that you could be a loving parent then do not have children. I know in my heart that I will never be like them but just to be sure I decided to never have children.

I will finally one day break away from them and when that day come they will never see me ever again and if they do then I will call the cops and lawyers to make sure they stay away. When they had positives inside them I still wanted to get away from them but not like that but now I have no choice. Their goal in life since their change has been to drive me crazy and they almost succeeded. Do you know the feeling when you think your soul is dead? I do and this is what my parents have done to me the past years! I do have the money to make myself a life away from them but I decided to be careful about it because it is not millions I have, I do not want to end up in the streets (by the way if that happens i will stay in the streets instead of coming back to them).

My life is a hell thanks to my parents and they have no excuse for any of the things they did, are doing and will do to me (and to my brother - yeah they had another kid that died years ago and that combined with us 3 coming close to dying in a fire in 2014 and losing everything we had did not wake them up)!

I will always suffer because of them even when I am far away from them; I wish they would of been physically abusive instead of mentally, it would of made things easier to understand and helped me get away from them when I was young instead of losing decades of my life!

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Amie,

I have a perfect example for you when I am nice with any of my parents!

Last night I found on Amazon Canada seeds of beautiful flowers, plants and trees. This is a subject that mom loves so this morning I talked to her about it and she seemed interested so I went back there after my morning routine to check it out again and when I came back upstairs to tell her about it she shut me down saying she was not interested about it and she told me that with an attitude in her voice and face.

So you see now what my parents are? I invite you to come here and deal with them only with kindness but do not blame me if you end up with mental issues thanks to them!

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Today they both went in Amqui and in a bank they got a new debt. Their dream here was to have a huge debt but they changed that when they saw the tax bill. At first they said it was better like that but I know them, they want to be in stress and drama so debt is perfect for that. So their plan is to change all the windows and get new balconies (before it was to change the windows + the roof + the roof of the garage + get 2 solariums) it will be less than 50000$ which is way less than they wanted it to be but still debt is debt for them.

They must be on a high from this because they have barely pushed my buttons since coming back!

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I am very close to a panic attack right now!

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Less than one hour ago mom came here (my door was closed and she knocked weirdly on it so i knew it would either be fully negative or at least partially) and after waiting a while (she acted like she had to give me a bad news) she told me that she would be going to Ste-Florence and coming back Friday and after saying why she is going she of course like all the other times threatened that maybe dad will be coming back before or maybe not. Then she stayed here and pushed my buttons for what seemed minutes until she left. Plus all the other times I was told at least the day before so I could go to a grocery store and get a few things, yesterday we ran errands in Rimouski and they both knew and did not tell me (thankfully i have enough food and wont miss anything but still why not tell me so i could be sure to have what i need during that time).

I was on the edge often today (1 of those time is while writing this post) and close to a panic attack one time.

Hopefully dad will stay there all that time like the last time!

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I am really in awe reading your posts and really wonder that there are really parents like yours. Made me miss my oldies more. I dont wanna brag coz it will only add up to the hurt you are feeling. How I wish you are my own daughter(I never had one...) I can only guess your narcissistic parents must have undergone awful things in their lives resulting to your current situation and what has become of them in your eyes (monsters! OMG :(

But watta! i can only say: Que sera sera! What will be, will be! The future's not ours to hold.

If they allow things to happen like that to you and to their lives, fate and destiny will come their way. I was just so sad they never noticed the beautiful side of parenting and having children. And missed the opportunity and bliss given only to a few individuals. I am not saying I am perfect in every way as a parent and as a person but I always make sure I practice values and righteousness not only to my own but to other people around me, on or offline.

I wish and pray good things for you Nancy as well as your parents and other people who are in the same shoe like you.

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Amie,

I have never in my life heard the words I love you or anything else positive like that. I also have never received hugs except for the last hairdresser I had when we lived in Saint-Hubert, she would always hug every of her customers so that kind of hug I know. Also except for people I have never met on the internet I have never heard anyone asked me what is wrong. Many years ago I spent almost two years in the house without going outside even in our yard and all I did that time was sleep, cry and watch television and then too they never asked me what was wrong. For some reason after November 9 2009 they decided to let go of the rare positive they had and become full blown monsters. I will never understand how can anyone hate their own children. The only way I can see that happening is if their kids turn into criminals or heartless people which is not the case with me. They lost their son to an illness and then we three could of died in a fire and neither of those two things woke them up which means that they are truly cruel and love it. I have never received love and affection and care but yet I am not like them just like I am not cruel to people who do not deserve it so them having an awful childhood (which is the case) is not an excuse; many people who have been abused by their parents have never done that to anyone else and they also have kids and never abused them. I am trying my best to build me up again so that I am at my best when I finally leave these monsters behind plus I need to be careful with the savings I have so that I do not end up in an apartment I cannot afford when these savings are gone (hopefully i will be able to find a job fast so that the rest or most would be put aside for my old age).

Mom left me a note on the table saying that dad will be back tonight, it is either true (which is their way to make up for the 3 complete days without them i had) or them trying to ruin my day by making me believe this but it not being true (i was enraged when i saw that note but then calmed down because i do not want to give them more power than they already have on me).

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That darn note was true, he came back alone after 17:00 (he entered the house at :25 but i heard him arrive and do a few things outside and perhaps the garage) frown cry!

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Mom called dad a while after he was back (he answered not me) and I am afraid that she asked him to not come get her tomorrow!

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