BellaOnline Forums Books and Music Poetry OgdenBlogden TerseVersen

CHICKEN

Please remember that the fried chicken that is cause for finger lickin’

Was once alive until stricken and no longer kickin.’


GANACHE

If plain icing isn’t to your liking

Plus if you’re not fond of fondant

or if to you frosting is a gross thing

So if chocolate doesn’t give you a rash

and cream is in your confectionary dream

Thus in a flash to your life you want to add some panache

Just make a stash of ganache

Although if too sweet your teeth may gnash, gnash, gnash…


COLE SLAW

Shred some cabbage and carrots

Add some raisins and pineapple

Season and mix with mayonnaise

What the hey it may not be gourmet

and perhaps this recipe is odd or even flawed

but after all it’s only going to be slawed.


RADISHED

If all you had to eat was radish

Wouldn’t you feel rather sadish?


THE LIMERICK

What’s a limerick?

Just a poetic gimerick.


TOUCAN TOUCAN

What one toucan can do

Two can do better

Especially when cracking a pecan faster than you can.


RAGOUT

Since a ragout is just a stew

Why don’t they just say soux?


CAN'T YOU MAGGOT A PHILOSOPHICAL EXCEPTION?

Typically Buddhists believe that all beings have sentiency,

From ants, mosquitoes, scorpions, snakes, and the sand flea.

Also embodied in this philosophical reverence of all life

Are bats, wasps, cockroaches, tarantulas, and the ale wife.

Yet, no mantra how many times I meditate om and om and om about it,

Seriously, do they really need to include the maggot?


REALITY TV

Reality TV
Really???

CANADA GEESE

Canada Geese are not Canadian Geese

Although many reside in Canada,

So when migrating carry no passport

and come and go as they please.

TORTILLAS

Some people steadfastly prefer corn

While others adamantly desire flour

and if the tortilla of their affection is not served

In a manner most unreserved

Their entire meal they will scorn

While behaving sour and dour.

As for me, liking both whether masa or harina

All I can say to them is “what the fajita?”


CREEPY CRAWLERS

Creepy crawlers are cause for many painful hollers,

So whether tiny chiggers or army ants,

Egats do your best to keep them blasted pests from going up your pants!


THE JABIRU #2

The gigantic stork numbers in the rice field did mount

As I did unprecedentally 56 count

So there was no need to take a numerical stabiru

Until those Jabiru done did flew.


TIGHTS FOR FASHION #3

I know I keep trashin’

Tights worn for fashion

But it’s no stretch of my imaginashion

They’re the unseemliest ugliest things in creashion.


STIR-FRIED

Since the cooking I do is primarily Asian,

My go to utensil is a versatile stir-fry pan

For such dishes as Moo Goo Gai Pan-

But definitely not for flan.


FOIE-GRAS-GETIT

If a girl tells you she eats everything

To impress, don’t take her to an expensive gourmet restaurant

As soon your wallet will be spent

With you finding out that her definition of everything-

After she left the foie gras and escargot untouched without even nibbling-

Is a hamburger and fries or a pizza with every of her favorite topping.


SQUIDDISH

Calamari sauteed in olive oil with parsley, lemon and garlic sounds really good.

Squid prepared the same way doesn’t sound nearly as good.

PAWPAWS RAW

The blossom of the pawpaw smells like rotting meat

While this fruit’s flesh eaten raw is custardy sweet.

So, if you ever get your paws on them

You’ll know which part is best to eat.

CELERY

Even though very low in calorie

I don’t like celery

and neither should rabbits

As it’s too darn stringery.


AN EGGPLANT BY ANY NAME

In moussaka, baba ganoush, caponata or parmesan

I am so keen on eggplant

That I don’t care if they call it aubergine

Even though I disdain from eating French cuisine.

INFLUENZA

When you have the influenza

Everything you want to try do it sickly influencas,

So if you know how to slew that icky flu

Please let me knew

As not a drop or syrup has suppressed that nagging cough

So now it continues to hurt to lough.


PASTILLA

Don’t let the pigeon deter you

Not even for a smidgeon-

Of course if that fowl stricken instead you can use chicken

To go along with the almonds, eggs, and cinnamon

With a topping of a dough of phyllo.

So give this pie a go rather than a heave ho even if not in Morocco

As the delightfully rich pastilla will certainly fill ya.


SYCOPHANTS

With their cloying “Yes Sir, Yes Sir”

and their annoying “Mam all of your ideas I adore,”

What is deserving of those self-serving sycophants

Is an unnerving swift kick in the pants.


THE WILDEBEEST

The wildebeest bearded, horned, and herded

Looking offalo like a buffalo

Not exactly a feast for the eyes-

I don’t know about gnu,

but it’s a shame to killdebeast.


PARROT DROPPINGS

Parrots are messy inefficient eaters,

one clawing then unfinished dropping their food wherever they pleasers

but at least regarding those screechers

Consistent the same can be said about them as excreters.


THE WILLET

The shorebird Willet

Never to be confused with a Pullet

Although many a crab, worm or mollusc they pull it

Need not worry themselves about being grillit

or ever ending up in a skillet.


THE AMERICAN ROBIN

A hoppin’ robin that keeps earthly robbin’ them worms

Will feed its hungry chicks as they squirms.


THE SEA SERPENT

The Scotch are taken to the sea

Often with a bottle or two of whiskey

but when mistaken they see an eel bent

and drunkenly confuse it for a sea serpent

Having done far more than a wee bit of slurpent

Alas at last it’s time for them to repent.


THE MOCKINGBIRD

If you’re stalking

This bird that affects other avians’ talking

To make sure it is the one that’s mocking

With a view sans any blocking of that shocking squawking

Upon seeing it you’ll end up gawking.


NO SUITABLE OPTIONS

Since I am claustrophobic being buried would not be my pick

Nor would I reserve a place in an urn as I prefer not to burn

As well as not wanting to be bone chillingly frozen is not the way I would have chosen

Or nix to being mummified as it is so undignified.

So as for my last remains I think I will just decide to wholly remain.

DONALD TRUMP

Offending all like a clueless grump,

With an ego larger than any colossal redwood stump,

Runs at the mouth the demonically comical Donald Trump.

Voters cut him no slack,

as like that other famous Donald,

He is so far out of whack,

This guy is a real quack.

Thus for those followers of his that want Trump to triumph,

What is left to say other than HARUMPH!


HILLARY CLINTON

Definitely highly competent,

Her election as the first female president

Would set a long overdue precedent.

However what kind of message would be sent

As in days of yore her morality being absent

Perhaps would have given cause for Hillary to have been pilloried.


THE INCA JAY

Inca dinka dinka

Inca dinka do

I once did view an Inca Jay

Until I done did blinkad

and it inka dinkad flew.


THE JELLYFISH

Since I am sellyfish

It would be my bare footed squeamish beach wish

That it would be you and not I

Who would make the jellyfish go squish.


COCK OF THE ROCK


From a blind on a deck

I saw at dawn frenetic male Cock of the Rocks at their lek

Flamboyantly and loudly putting on a display

To attract a very choosy lady

of whom they would hope one would say

What the heck I will give that big boy more than a peck.




THE CANYON WREN

A insect gobbling denizen of many a Mexican canyon,

You could never find this wren in Sweden.

Then again, they hardly resemble any Sven.


THE GIANT HUMMNIGBIRD

At over six inches this Andean hummingbird is a real giant.

Glimpsed hovering for only a second or so,

You could not say he was very compliant.

Yet dexterously sucking down that nectar,

Gosh was he ever pliant!

EDIBLE CACTUS NO SELECTUS

No pal of mine,

To that slimy paddle cactus

My involuntary reflectus

Displaying my culinary invectus

If anyone should asctus

Would be no no no no no no no no no no no no NOPAL!

TO XMEECOSMIC

I follow your verses
with laughter and curses,
envy and delight,
at some fancy's flight.
As I savour each line
of the comedy divine,
Arghh! I wish it were mine.

(Thank you for all your imaginative and amusing TerseVersen.)

Oh dear Oh dear oh dear
I have some bad news I fear
In Mexico Nopals abound
In fact I say, they're all around

Now that's not good news for Xmee
Of Nopals he says "they vex me!"
They prick, they squish and as you know
You'll find them all over Mexico!

If you don't live where Nopals grow
Then it's a choice for you ... and so
Feel sorry for Xmee, who it's plain to see
Is in the cactus more than you and me!

Hasta la Vista ... Mista!

Thanks Mona and Lestie!

MUMS THE WORD

Having the antithesis of a green thumb,

When people view my garden not even do they reply euphumistically ho hum,

Rather like those fallen flowers they just remain mum.

THE JACKAL

A hyena with another name,

Not fit to be any game,

With a cry that will raise your hackles

If I hear a jackal

It I just want to smackal!

Hi there xmeecosmic,

Please contact me through my container gardening pages - I have lost all my records of everything, didn't back up did I! Darn telephone department wiped everything, I have lost so much I am still reeling. Anyway.

Cheers

TOUCAN TOUCAN TOUCAN

Whether black-mandibled or keel-billed
For a colorful birdy dream fulfilled
In Costa Rica who can see many a Toucan?
You can, You can, You can...
Yet if you don't but see instead a collared or fiery-billed Aracari
You certainly won't be sorry.