BellaOnline
Posted By: xmeecosmic OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/13/15 10:20 PM
THE ERMINE: The Ermine isn’t a vermin ’cause no vermin’s coat could cost an ermine and a leg.
Very witty!
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/14/15 11:32 AM
FREDERIKA: There once was a matron named Frederika who disdained from eating anything made with paprika no matter how hungarian she might have been.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/15/15 08:57 PM
SCONES: In Scotland if you live in close proximity to a bakery you’re probably just a scone’s throw away.
Posted By: Mona - Astronomy Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/16/15 06:22 AM
Xmeecosmic, your terseversen has (have?) given me a good laugh this morning.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/16/15 10:49 AM
THE CUCUMBER: If it weren’t for the skin, the flesh, and the seeds, the cucumber I’d fondly remember indeed.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/17/15 09:25 AM
CORSICA: By boat can you get to the Mediterranean island of Corsica? Of Corsica!
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/18/15 08:00 AM
FRIED CALAMARI: Fried Calamari by any other name would smell just as squid.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/19/15 02:14 PM
COPERNICUS: Copernicus revolutionized the meaning of the Universe placing the Sun rather than the Earth at its center. Yet the masses scorned this mathematical dissenter as living in the dark was pleasanter. Yet in time all of us were enlightened that from that astronomer we did learnicus.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/20/15 05:51 AM
TOFU'D: This may be a tasteless question but who thinks tofu is ofu? My guess is more than a fu.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/21/15 07:44 AM
SPAGHETTI ETI-QUETTE: Miss Manners says to use a fork and spoon to eat spaghetti. Are you for or aghetti?
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/22/15 09:26 AM
GRENADA: What do I know about Grenada? Gee, nada.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/23/15 07:37 AM
FORMATTING

After 50 posts can now format

So the new posts won't look flat as a doormat.


SILLILOQUY

“Out damn spot

My guilt causes me to suffer a lot

Proving I’m a ruthless yet anguished snot-

as to whether I’m Macbeth or Hamlet

I remembereth not.”


MAGGOTS

Nothing else can vie

so the only thing worse than a fly is its larvae.



RUE-D

I rued the day my wife planted the herb rue

for as it grew it was a real stinkaroo.

So that rue I slewed.

Now with my wife I’m in a real stew.

How rude!



FISSION CHIPS ANYONE?


Cooking with liquid nitrogen

Is like a culinary horse de Trojan

Because taking an old fashioned classic like British Fish and Chips

and scientifically turning it into brittle Fission Chips

Just gives me the yips.



LIMBURGER CHEESE

A smelly smelly cheese that’s bound to make you wheeze,

the chances are slim to none that my life would be so grim

that I’d risk life and limb to even try a stinking gram of Limburger Cheese.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/24/15 06:11 AM

Whatever Happened To Plain Old Red?


Chartreuse I am cluless

Puce must be a ruse

Damask I need to ask

Mauve oh gawd!

Cattleya I have no ideya

Jasper I must asper

Bisque what isque it?

Verdigris I couldn’t even venture a gris

Vermilion I thought was a fancy dance

thus, for all of the above frou-frou colors

I carnelian begin to imagine what hue they might be



FELAFEL

After you eat felafel, do you feel good or do you felafel?



HAIKU HAIKU HAIKU

Haiku Haiku Haiku

Over the lake the molting goose flew

Hachoo Hachoo Hachoo


CURRANTS


Rant Rant Rant Rant…

if I didn’t eat my bowl of currants

Were how my parants were raisin’ me

but since I no longer live at home

That isn’t my currant problem.


EMPANADAS

Nada nada nada

I reply when asked if I want an empanada

Because savory or sweet

Sometimes the filling is so unreplete

That it really is an empty nada
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/25/15 06:55 AM

CUMIN

Cumin is the kind of spice

if using a little it’s flavor is quite nice

but if too much you put in the rice

it’s not fit for any human.


THE CORN

A corn can be succulent and sweet

but not when it's on your feet.



HIGH TECH WRITING

In composing a poem

I like to think I can write from the archaic to the modern

About anything ranging from psychology to the growings on in a garden

but if it doesn’t blink in a wink I’m lost and verseless without a modem.



TWO PATHS TO BE AVOIDED


You need not be paranoid

To believe that on life’s journey there are two paths that would be best to avoid,

the psycho and socio.



THE LOBSTER'S ALTERNATIVE

If you asked a lobster who was caught in a trap what he thought of platters of Steamed Lobster

To be served at a grand buffet spread,

He’d probably suggest “why not try some crab instead?”


SCALLIONS PLEASE!


If prone to cryin’ on and on…

Peelin’ an onion is no funion.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/26/15 08:09 AM


SPILT MILK


I’m of the ilk to not cry over spilt milk

so I just sulk.




WORMLY ADVICE

A word of advice to those fortunate survivors that have been early arisen,

the early bird won’t catch the worm that sleeps in.



GIZZARDS

A muscular ventriculus that is gustatorily ridiculous

That many birds for food use to grind,

The mere thought of them makes my mind go dizzard,

So not even a wizard could get me to eat a gizzard.




ICEBERG LETTUCE

Let us be perfectly clear

Not very nutritious or fibrous

Nor at all delicious or culinary adventurous

Iceberg lettuce not worth a fuss

Is pretty much only good to water us



MUSTARD JARRED

To no avail I did fail

As I tried and tried to open an encrustard jar of mustard

So in a real condiment predicament

I ended up flustard

with the blastard jar bustard
Posted By: Lestie4containergardens Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/26/15 11:09 AM
Hi there xmeecosmic,

Reading your Mustard Jarred and ending up 'flustard with the blastard jar bustard' reminded me of that very funny Flanders and Swann song I lost my Horn.

The lyrics follow, and if you can you need to sing them to Mozart's horn concerto ... I love the lines 'I've lost that Horn, lost that Horn, found that Horn ... gorn.'

Hope this makes you smile anyway.

.................................................................

I once had a whim and I had to obey it
To buy a French Horn in a second-hand shop
I polished it up and I started to play it
In spite of the neighbours who begged me to stop

To sound my Horn, I had to develop my embouchure
I found my Horn was a bit of a devil to play
So artfully wound
To give you a sound
A beautiful sound so rich and round

Oh, the hours I had to spend before I mastered it in the end
But that was yesterday and just today I looked in the usual place
There was the case but the Horn itself was missing

Oh, where can it have gone?
Haven't you, hasn't anyone seen my Horn?
Oh, where can it have gone?
What a blow! Now I know
I'm unable to play my Allegro

Who swiped that Horn?
I'll bet you a quid
Somebody did
Knowing I'd found a concerto and wanted to play it
Afraid of my talent at playing the Horn
For early today to my utter dismay
it had vanished away like the dew in the morn

Took it!

I've lost that Horn, I know I was using it yesterday
I've lost that Horn, lost that Horn, found that Horn... gorn
There's not much hope of getting it back though I'd willingly pay a reward

I know some Hearty Folk whose party joke's
Pretending to hunt with the Quorn
Gone away! Gone away! Was it one of them took it away?
Will you kindly return that Horn? Where is the devil who pinched my Horn?
I shall tell the Police I want that French Horn baaaaaaaack

I miss its music more and more and more
Without that Horn I'm feeling sad and so forlorn
Oh oh oh oh ho...

I found a concerto, I wanted to play it
Displaying my talent at playing the Horn
But early today to my utter dismay it had totally vanished away
I practised the Horn, and I wanted to play it but somebody took it away
I practised the Horn and was longing to play it but somebody took it away

My neighbour's asleep in his bed
I'll soon make him wish he were dead
I'll take up the Tuba instead!

.................................................................

Cheers now
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/27/15 08:56 AM

ABOUT MY POETRY BACKGROUND

People say I’ve never read even one great poet

but my knowledge of them I shall show it:

Tennyson oded and quoted about venison,

Shelley conversed about his favorite deli,

Keats waxed on and on about his athletic feats,

Jeffers raged about uncared for heifers,

Frost pondered about how much things cost,

Poe ruminated about snow,

Shakespeare sonneted about his apes fear,

Anjelou metaphored about pear jello,

Cullen hyperbolized about why he was so sullen

and Nash balderdashed about his rash.

So to all of you who think my poetry knowledge is zilch

its from these poets that I do filch.


CONFUCIUS

His aphorisms of moral guidance were his modus

Societal and familial obligations a focus

For centuries the world has known the sage words of Confucius

a philosopher whose non-Greek missives were never meant to confuse us.


EATING LIKE A HORSE

How dare you say I eat like a horse!

A horse will as a matter of course roughagely eat primarily hay, grasses maybe even gorse.

I with other recourse will eat huge amounts of pretty much anything and everything else.

So unless you want me to whinny at you about this until I’m hoarse

Check your source and you’ll see I don’t eat like a horse.


CHERVIL

A person diagnosable with Chervil phobia

Obsesses that the herb is the root of all ervil.



RUN THAT RUTABAGA OVER WITH A STUDEBAKER


Accursed as a cross between a cabbage and a turnip

Not to be rude but steamed or stewed

I don’t know anybody who goes gaga for a rutabaga

but many when eating do gaga.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 02/28/15 08:03 AM
THE COYOTE

Here in Mexico the coyote is always in danger of being shot

So why can’t they be taught not to eat cow but to chow on chayote.


WRITING STYLE AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN...!!!


Oftentimes my verse is not accurate historically

as I’d rate them rather hysterically silly

Thus I can justifiably be taken to task

but I do ask to be given not the stick but rather the carrot

Unless of course you really believe I deserve the garrote.


BEAN SPROUTS

Bean sprouts fresh, white and crisp add zip to many a Chinese dish

From Fried Rice to Egg Foo Yung to Whole Steamed Fish.

Yet those mung sprouts when turned brown, limp, and slimyish

All you can do is throw them outs.

THE POLAR BEAR

Although they have their mood swings that can really scare

Polar bears are not bipolar because it’s only at the North Pole where they appear.

JELLY ROLLS

The more jelly rolls one eats,

The more belly folds one gets.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/01/15 06:33 AM
THERE THEIR THEY'RE

Out of despair

Many a teacher wants to pull out (there) their hair

For no matter how many lessons on the subject (their) there are

(There) They’re besides themselves that there their little dears

Always confuse there, their, and they’re-

so to those teachers all I can say with compassion is “there, their, they’re.”


CHINOOKED

Only a schnook of a Chinook would purposely grapple with a hook.
Posted By: Lestie4containergardens Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/02/15 05:17 AM
Hi there xmeeosmic,

According to an old joke there’s this advertisement in a magazine:

Learn to Write Novels and Poetry!
Easy-to-understand instructions.
Send $30.

Well, all takers send money to the given address and in return they send you a dictionary with the instructions,
“Some assembly required.”

Your 'there their and they're' offering above is a masterful assembly.

The poor teachers who are in despair have usually inherited students who were not taught the differences in the first place!

As George Orwell might have said ... "Some assembly is more better than others."

Cheers

P S Did you know that there is a word missing in English?

You have Sow, Sew and So. Now if you make a sentence using them you will see what I mean.

The farmer sows his seed, his wife sews her cloth ... and so they both ?
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/02/15 08:21 AM
Zesty Lestie sure is the bestie.


THE CENTIPEDE

How do you impede a Centipede?

With so many legs

That begs the question.


TOLEDO

In Toledo, Ohio if you wore a tuxedo you’d be considered a weirdo,

but so would you too if it was a speedo.


SWEET BELL PEPPERS MEXICAN STYLE

As an expatriate living in Mexico

I discovered that sweet bell peppers are “morrons”

and with red, yellow, and orange at one quarter the price that they are north of the border

To not buy a kilo or so for your larder

You’d have to be a real moron.


THE SWALLOWS

Over the pond

the swallows

will acrobatically dive bomber-like fly

shallow shallow shallow

to follow follow follow

the flow flow flow

of flying flying flying insects

until as many of them as possible they swallow swallow swallow…


THE EAGLE

The eagle is perceived as being regal

but not by a fleeing seagull.


(note: poetic license used as there is no species of bird “seagull”

only specific types of gulls)
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/03/15 09:10 AM
POPOVERS OR YORKSHIRE PUDDING

Popovers or Yorkshire Pudding?

You’ve got to be kidding

For both I don’t care

As they’re just filled with hot air.


TAMALES AND TRADITIONAL MEXICAN BEVERAGE OF CHOICE

Tamales and ale no sale.

Tamales and soda maybe in South Dakota.

Tamales and wine what a crime.

Tamales and gin that’s pretty grim.

Tamales and a milk shake would generate a head shake.

Tamales and bottled water would only please the bladder.

Tamales and atole (a-to-lay) is the solamente one that would rate an ole’.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/05/15 11:37 AM
BUMPITTY BUMPITTY

For forty minutes while I tried to write verse the bus went bumpitty bumpitty…

No matter if I slumpitty slumped

My rump rumpitty rumped

So while taking my lumps I became grumpitty grumpitty

Thus non-versely my mind was stumpitty stumped

Leaving my note pad empitty empitty

and when I got home I told my wife she laughed twice showing no empathy empathy.


POETREES SAVED


Bless the keys

With so many people now eschewing paper and keyboarding poetry

Think of all the saved poetrees.


THE REASON WHY THIS VERSE IS SO TERSE


The most important component of writing is the thought.

Since I have naught

This is all I’ve got.


OOPS!


I prepared some lovely gourmet canapes

and creatively arranged them on a silver tray

Then in front of the guests I tripped thus to my dismay

Oops those hors d’oeuvres did soeuvre.


ANGST DISCLOSURE


Exposing my flanks I poignantly disclosed my angst.

On Twitter I viciously heard from hundreds of cranks.

Thanks!
I love your poetry. It made me laugh! Thanks for sharing.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/06/15 07:18 AM
BUTTON MUSHROOMS

For button mushrooms I’m a glutton,

So sometimes I crush them

While other times I mush them

Thus making room for more.


MISSISSIPPI

Once in a while it’s nippy

but most of the time it’s drippy

So if you think I’d ever go to Mississippi

Get a grippy-

So there I’ll never be.

Yippee!


NOT A NEWTONIAN THEORY BUT...


The way to defy gravity

Is with tons of levity.


EAT LIKE A BIRD

“Eat like a bird” you say!

Okay, I think I may

As many eat half their weight in food each day.
Love your stuff!
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/07/15 08:42 AM
Thanks Jana, Connie, Mona, and Lestie.


COMMAND OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE


Not only do I think I have command of the English language

I also can make a pretty mean Italian sanduage.


KENTUCKY

Although it’s definitely not ducky

You can say it’s yucky

Yet I’m not that plucky

but having never been to Kentucky

I can consider my self very lucky.


SCHMEARS


For a cream cheese schmear

To prepare you don’t have to provide much care

nor does it require any flair

unless of course it’s lox

because its price is so dear

it costs a lots.


LOU IN HONOLULU

Lou became blue

Because as soon as he got to Honolulu

He developed a lulu of a headache

and for the entire time there not more than a foot could he see

so all achy he never got to view Waikiki

or even eat at a luau

as his head made Lou ow.


PEANUT BUTTER

Me and my Peter Pan complex!

Especially with fruit preserves

Which for those edible spreadable occasions I reserve,

Whether smooth or chunky

-With or without honey-

My waist is spreading as I’m getting real chunky

So in a jif I utter knock off eating so much peanut butter

or I’ll have to skippy many a meal.
Very witty, as usual! I love to see the rhymes. Lestie, thanks for providing this platform.
Posted By: Lestie4containergardens Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/07/15 01:58 PM
Hi Connie,

It's great isn't it?

BUT, I did not provide it ... xmeecosmic is to blame! Smart writing that offers regular smiles and PHNS - positive head nodding syndrome.

I don't have this skill - my poetry has to rhyme for it to work for me, keep going xmeecosmic your fans are here and reading...

Cheers
Again, great installment. I'm sure this will have my mind working on this kind of poem in no time. Thanks again for sharing. I did get a case of PHNS and big smiles too.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/08/15 08:56 AM
Thanks Jana and Lestie!
With my poetic nonsense license I slightly modified Lestie's precious PHNS.

MY VERSING GOAL IS P-H-N-S

Some readers seem to view my verse with positive head nod shaking
While many more others think I’ve been drinking too much of the egg nog I’ve been making.


GLUTEN FREE

If I were a server and someone had the nerve to ask for something gluten free

I’d bring back a tin with glue in.


POUTINE

In Quebec it’s very routine to eat Poutine.

Composed of French fries, brown gravy, and cheese curd,

or at least so I’ve heard.

Yet filled with so much cholesterol

That could clog your arteries all,

In my mouth that’s one dish I won’t be puttin’.


PACKAGED MARRIAGES


Not that I believe in polygamy

But because of the pig in me

Oftentimes it seems I’m wed to Betty Crocker, Aunt Jemima, and Sara Lee.


PRE-TORN JEANS


Pre-torn jeans are said to be hip

Yet all they are is an expensive rip

so if I wanted to look poor

I’d wear old non-designer ones which have grown spores.


SUMATRA

Residents of that Indonesian island

Really know their Java

and think they’re Sumatra than you
Posted By: Lestie4containergardens Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/08/15 11:21 AM
PHNS is extremely catching when accompanied by a smile.

APPLES AND PEARS

Apple and Pears ... Pears or Apples
A thought with which you must grapple
Miss Demeanour and Miss Behaviour
Argued on and on about which was the flaviour!

Cheers
Oh seriously funny. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face!
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/09/15 07:02 PM
THE BEST REASON TO BECOME AN EXECUTIVE CHEF

I never liked being a kitchen minion

because I had to mince a million onion.


PISTACHIOS

I’m really attached to natural pistachios-

so much so that many remain affixed to my mustache and nose.



BIRD'S NEST SOUP


A soup that costs a fortune is made from bird’s nest that is edible,

Derived from the salivary excretions of swiftlets.

That there are those who survive eating that terrible spitlatinous gelatinous goop I find incredible.


PAGELESS

They say that Twitter is the domain of those who still may need a babysitter

While Facebook belongs to those old enough to remember what is a good book.

An abstainer of both I am a seemingly solitary member of Pageless,

Although definitely not ageless.


A COW'S MIEN

A cow’s mien

Not just mainly in the plain

Since they always have it rough

Even if they’ve got a trough

is not a bovine growl

but rather a bored scowl.


A MAN EATING SHARK

When a man eating shark loses its fin

To no one’s chagrin

It also loses its grin.


SPELUNKING

Stalagmites, stalactites, and minerals I just adore-

Thus craving to know what’s above the caves floor

I’d love to be a spelunker

if I was sure I wouldn’t become a kerplunker.

I love these!
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/11/15 12:19 PM
RAP MUSIC

I find rap music quite confusic.


ANY OTHER WRITING ADVICE?


It’s been said to write what you know about.

If I did that I’d be none and out.


OMNIPOTENCE

People who claim omnipotence

Should be nipped in the bud

More than once.


NOT EVEN A CRUMB


Waste not

Want not

Don’t be a snot

Eat that whole donut


LIVER


“Come on eat your liver,

just try a sliver.”

NIVER!
Very witty. Love them especially Any Other Writing Advice. Short and to the point, but funny too.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/12/15 02:41 PM
A TEXAN'S VIEW OF LAMB

Ma’am please remove that lamb

As my lips don’t touch anything that’s fleecy and greasy

and smells of being Middle Easty

So if you think I’m going to eat that couscous

Ya’ll must have a screw loose.


STEWED VEGETABLES

Not to be rude

but if served any vegetable that is stewed

Into the garbage that food will quickly be strewed.


FELAFEL

Anyone who thinks it’s awful

Never had a bit or a mouthful.

So pita please

For the sake of those luscious fried chickpeas

Why don’t you try some felafel.


EDIBLE CACTUS

Spiny and sharp piercingly capable of producing way more than a sore

Some people eat cactus

Exactus why I’m not sure.


TWEETS

When a bird goes tweet, tweet, tweet,

It is a sound that is so naturally sweet.

When a human ad nauseam Tweets, Tweets, Tweets,

I wish they had no hands but only feets.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/13/15 02:33 PM
BELL BOTTOMS

Bell bottoms don’t even look well

on those that have swell bottoms.


BERMUDA SHORTS

The expression Ugly American is hard to thwart

With so many going from resort to resort

and port to port

Wearing Bermuda shorts.


GOODBYE CEMETERY POND


To water cattle no matter the eco cost

With so many species lost

They yearly drain the pond.

So I wish that it was salt water which they did absconder

and that they themselves were helpless flounder.


WHAT AN EGO I HAVE!


If someone “liked” my verses day in and day out

Then suddenly stopped without even a “now I hate you” shout

Then in my mind there must only be one result

Which is something that I’ve come to dread,

After for so long my ego had been fed

Alas that person must be dead.


BEEF WELLINGTON


With a beef tenderloin coated with a rich liver pate and a duxelle of mushrooms

Then wrapped in a buttery puff pastry and laced with sauce bordelaise

If you eat an entire Beef Wellington

You’re well on your way to weighing a ton.

Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/14/15 02:53 PM
MANHATTAN

“New York New York

If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere”

’cause I’m a multi-millionaire


UMPS

Harumph!

In a slump?

Taking your lumps?

Your nerves making you jump?

Can’t get over the hump?

Hitting those bumps?

Down in the dumps?

Feeling like a chump?

Becoming a grump?

Turning into a frump?

Hair falling out in clumps?

Problems got you stumped?

Tired of listening to your heart thump?

Then get off your rump and take the steps to triump!


THE CRAWFISH

Crawfish are scrumptious.

So anybody who won’t eat them

To all seafood probably say “aw nawfish.”


SPANISH BULLFIGHTING


One event I’d never witness is bull fighting

and so be it if a culture I am slighting

But it seems hordes of people do adore

If not delighting in

Seeing a wit less outpouring of gore.


TIE-DYED

I’d be fit to be tied

Before I wore anything tie-dyed

Unless of course I was totally out of my mind Mai Tai-d.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/16/15 12:55 PM
THE ARTICHOKE

A thistle that doesn’t make want to me to whistle

To get to the heart is more than an art

So as for the rest of the artichoke

I throw it out like a missile.


THE NEURON

The impulse-conducting cells that constitute the brain, spinal column, and nerves in vertebrates

Consisting of a nucleated cell body with one or more dendrites and a single axon:

So that’s the definition of a neuron.

No wonder in class this bio-psychology moron just did snore on and on...


MONOSDODIUM GLUTAMATE

Monosodium Glutamate aka MSG is mostly salty gook

Used by only a schnook of a cook

Whose dishes even many a glutton’s mate has refused to give a second look.


THE MUSEUM

No Eating

No Drinking

No Touching

No Talking

No Photographing

Rules upon rules ad nauseum!

Guess I won’t be going to that museum

as I’m not ready to be a resident of a mausoleum.


AN AGNOSTIC'S RESPONSE

Regarding faith agnostics are accused by believers to sit on the fence and dodge it

but the questioning ones without knowledge would merely ask “where is the logic?”


CHURROS

Light and fluffy that cinnamon and sugar coated fried fritter the Churro is easy to adoro

but if the dough is tough all your jaw will do is chewro and chewro…
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/19/15 09:04 AM
ROMAINE

Although it’s very nutritious

Thus to your health the antithesis of deleterious,

but to bring romaine into a conversation about foods that are interesting and adventurous

is definitely not germane.


NOT ANOTHER POEM ABOUT THE ROSE!

Many poets when they compose

Wax on and on about the rose

In rhyme and proper meter that flows and flows

but I suppose since I’m just one of a thorny bunch of ordinary Joes

When I come upon such flowery prose I just doze and doze…


FIRST PERSON


Nothing is worse than to refer to oneself in the first person

or so thinks and says myself Gary McPherson.


HYPCRISTITIOUS

I’m not superstitious.

I’m not superstitious.

I’m not superstitious.

I’m not superstitious.

I’m not superstitious.

I’m not superstitious.

I’m not superstitious.

Seven times for luck repetitious!


PIZZA


If every day you eatza a pizza,

Soon your pants ain’t gonna fitza.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/21/15 08:31 AM
THE TOUCAN BARBET

As a bar bet no sweat you can bet

With no need to fret

When answering the question what’s the most colorfully fancy Andean bird that’s not a parrot

if you replied the Toucan Barbet.


THE HORNED GUAN #2


In the mystical cloud forest of Chiapas

With mist all around us

and binoculars hopefully in focus

Beginning to think one may need hocus pocus,

There is nothing better than to see a rare elusive solitary Horned Guan,

Unless of course you see more than uan.


THE TYPICAL CENTRAL AMERICAN DIET


In that sultry region,

A typical diet Central Americain

Is quite simple to ex-plain

As it consists of a bit of animal protein

Along with a smattering of rice, beans and plantain

but probably no flan

So one’s health, if not waistline, is mas o menos easy to man-tain.


BIRDING NON-DEMOCRACY

To paraphrase a swell Orwell,

While all birds are equal,

Some are more equal than others-

So in birding over hill and dell for a long spell,

Many but not all I really hope have a see-quel.


EVOLUTION


A Homo sapien with less apien,

Did Homo erectus gaze up at the sky wondering if they were selectus?


PARROT SNACKSESSION


Not at all a slacker when it comes to being a snacker,

My parrot Payno goes whacker if she doesn’t get a cracker

Screaming out of her wits

If she doesn’t get her daily fix of Ritz.

Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/22/15 02:15 PM
MA NO MA PO DOFU

Also known as Mrs. Wang’s Pockmarked Bean Curd

For those of you who’ve never heard,

When my mother insisted I eat Ma Po Dofu,

I not so dutifully replied “ma no food!”


SHAO MAI

I’m so shy

Although my dumplings are worth sumpling

I won’t show you my shao mai

So alone I may chow on a large sum of those dim sum.


OWETRY

I owetry to my reading public to post some serious poetry.

Oh okay praise be that’s not reality!


NYQUIL

When not feeling at all well

With my eyes out of focal

Fearing a sleepless night oh so frightful

I’ll down a cup of Nyquil

and later if still awake and ill drink a sequel

Not dwelling on the fact that typically a drop of alcohol I don’t swill.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/24/15 08:50 AM
NEW JERSEY

Whoever did originate calling New Jersey the Garden State

Certainly did misstate and fabricate

As it would be more appropriate to relegate that name to one of its many trash heaps

and refer to Dumpy Joisey as the Cement, Landfill and Toxic Waste State-

The only problem is that would not fit on a license plate.


CHOCOLATE GROWTH FACTOR

Eating a lot of chocolate

Although most pleasing to the palate

May make one larger than a Quonset hut.


A VERY NICE FRENCH DISH


I like my food herby, chewy, and stewy

So that’s why I enjoy ratatouille.


THE BOOBIES


Binoculared I obsessively voyaged far to view a booby

But no voyeur is me.

Not one but two did I see

-Blue-Footed and Brown-Footed-

When I went out to sea.


SMAIL

With expectations far too high,

Calling it snail mail

Is setting up the Postal Service to fail.

THE DODO

The Dodo is no mo’-

Why,I no know.

WHY FRY A HEALTHY BURRITO?

A chimichanga is a deep fried burrito

That when eaten greasily chimies down your throat

and once in your stomach unhealthily goes changa, changa, changa…


PEANUT BRITTLE

Every bittle of crackly peanut brittle

Makes my teeth grittle a little.
So creative. Love these, although I know nothing about N.J. smile
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/26/15 02:05 PM
Thanks Jana whose name rhymes with banana but I don't think is from Texarkana.

MATZOS

What’s those?

Matzos.

Unleavened bread?

Ya they’re not bad so I suppose to eat them you don’t have to be nutsos.


CHALLAH

Praise be Allah

For whoever invented Challah.


SHAO MAI #2

Since we are from the shao mai state,

I’ll show you my shao mai

if you show me yours

and the winner can buy the fit to be tied loser a mai tai.


BIRDS OF PREY ARE NOT ALL VIEWEED THE SAME


Many people appreciate the eagle

For presenting itself so regal,

While others upon seeing any hawk

Will longingly gawk,

Along with viewing any kite

Typically will elicit “quite a sight.”

As for the buzzard,

Most wish they all would become smothered.


RECIPE FOR CHILAQUILES


Chilaquiles,

Fried tortilla triangles called totopos

Simmered in green or red salsa

Mixed with scrambled eggs

Topped with queso fresco

and sweet fresh crema,

Served with refried beans,

Is a Mexican meal that I‘d quiles for.


PUT A ZIP ON IT!


Instead of swinging from a natural vine,

Not so benignly

Hordes of tourists nowadays form a beeline

To use a zip line

In many a once pristine chasm-

Which is really nothing other than a form of eco-terror-tourism.


CLICK CLICK CLICK

With my camera all I ever do is automatically point and shoot,

Even though it has sundry manual functions with video to boot.

You see, with that multi-options optical device digital,

I don’t have the skill or patience to figital.


Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 03/29/15 02:49 PM
FRUITY PARADOX

The Chinese Gooseberry

Is not really a gooseberry,

While, the Kiwi Fruit is really a Chinese Gooseberry.

Thus, while not a “goose,”

They are indeed some kind of berry.

So, if you enjoy eating this fruit,

The name is berry moot.


I GUESS IT WASN"T IN SEASON

A pulpy, mushy watermelon

Is an earthly hell-on.


THE COUGAR

Cougars are secretive, sleek, agile, and stealthy cats,

Who stalk and ambush a variety of prey-

To munch whatever they may.

No matter how much I admire the cougar,

As they are one mystical and mysterious cat,

Although not likely to be an object of their pred-attention,

I really don’t want to be close to where they are.

So, If on a mountain trail, I discover any trace of their scat,

My only reaction is to scat as fast as this hiking cat can.


TIME TO GRAPE UP

People who are experiencing sour grapes,

Often become bent out of shapes.


CARB ON NO CAN COPY

You say tomato, I say potato

You say collared greens, I say pinto beans

You say okra, I say pasta

You say a salad of spinach, I say an ice cream sandwich

You say cauliflower, I say any bread made with wheat flour

You say provolone cheese, I say macaroni and cheese.

You say nectarine, I say rice terrine

You say tomatillo, I say refrito burrito con queso amarillo

You say a couple of prunes, I say a couple cups full of chocolate macaroons

You say assiduously watch your carbs.

I say ridiculously easy to say,

As I am unconcarbably addicted to loaves and loaves of starchy carbs.


PSEUDO SCIENCE IS WAY BEYOND ME


Whenever I hear the word astrology,

With no stars in my eyes,

I can’t help to see,

That it’s fraught with fraudology.

Uncharted and not zodi-whacked,

Whatever my fate will be ,

Is mine and mine alone-oh-golly-gee.


THE ORANGUTAN

Without great ape-ology,

I find the names

Sumatra

Orangutan

Borneo

To be indigenously funny.

Sumatra of fact,

That is where all orangutans

are Borneo.


TRIPE

My gripe about tripe

Is that no matter how it is prepared,

Its taste and texture is offal-ly weird.

If served to me, my stomach can’t adjust,

So hold on a menudo,

I hate its guts!
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 04/01/15 02:38 PM
NOPAL

Nope! Nope Nope!

I won’t eat a single cactus paddle sliver

the thought of which makes me quiver

of that spiny, slimy nopal

Which is no pal of mine.

Nope! Nope! Nope!


THE IGUANA


I guana learn more about the iguana.

So I’m guana go to Guyana.


NOT TO BE RUDE DUDE BUT...

If it’s true that you are what you eat,

And all that you eat is fast food,

If you don’t become unglued

From the drive-thru window or the restaurants’ seats,

Don’t be surprised to conclude,

With a high degree of certitude,

That your belly will continue to quickly protrude

To a much bulkier and unhealthier magnitude.


RELATIFFITY

Depending on one’s perspective,

All things in life are relative,

Although, absolutely,

I wish some of my family members weren’t.


WORDS ABLAZING


After I think a hyberbolical ton,

I write my verses like a scattering Gatling gun.

So, if I have more hits than misses,

I am genuinely stunned.


AN UPSIDE TO EVERYTHING?

People who have a bad nicotine habit

Are being habitually self-destructive,

But if they are proactive,

At least they will have a start on writing their own obit.


TORTILLA PRESS ETIQUETTE


In your humble adobe abode,

If your dinner guests you want to impress

Serve them tortillas fresh from your cast iron press.

However, if you have guests you want to disgust,

From that press just don’t remove the rust.


THE STURGEON


The female beluga sturgeon

Is hunted wide and far,

Only to put its roe

Which is called caviar

Into a small jar,

Costing you a jarring fortune.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 04/03/15 01:37 PM
CHICKEN

Please remember that the fried chicken that is cause for finger lickin’

Was once alive until stricken and no longer kickin.’


GANACHE

If plain icing isn’t to your liking

Plus if you’re not fond of fondant

or if to you frosting is a gross thing

So if chocolate doesn’t give you a rash

and cream is in your confectionary dream

Thus in a flash to your life you want to add some panache

Just make a stash of ganache

Although if too sweet your teeth may gnash, gnash, gnash…


COLE SLAW


Shred some cabbage and carrots

Add some raisins and pineapple

Season and mix with mayonnaise

What the hey it may not be gourmet

and perhaps this recipe is odd or even flawed

but after all it’s only going to be slawed.


RADISHED

If all you had to eat was radish

Wouldn’t you feel rather sadish?


THE LIMERICK

What’s a limerick?

Just a poetic gimerick.


TOUCAN TOUCAN

What one toucan can do

Two can do better

Especially when cracking a pecan faster than you can.


RAGOUT

Since a ragout is just a stew

Why don’t they just say soux?


CAN'T YOU MAGGOT A PHILOSOPHICAL EXCEPTION?


Typically Buddhists believe that all beings have sentiency,

From ants, mosquitoes, scorpions, snakes, and the sand flea.

Also embodied in this philosophical reverence of all life

Are bats, wasps, cockroaches, tarantulas, and the ale wife.

Yet, no mantra how many times I meditate om and om and om about it,

Seriously, do they really need to include the maggot?


REALITY TV

Reality TV
Really???
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 04/06/15 05:22 PM
CANADA GEESE

Canada Geese are not Canadian Geese

Although many reside in Canada,

So when migrating carry no passport

and come and go as they please.

TORTILLAS

Some people steadfastly prefer corn

While others adamantly desire flour

and if the tortilla of their affection is not served

In a manner most unreserved

Their entire meal they will scorn

While behaving sour and dour.

As for me, liking both whether masa or harina

All I can say to them is “what the fajita?”


CREEPY CRAWLERS


Creepy crawlers are cause for many painful hollers,

So whether tiny chiggers or army ants,

Egats do your best to keep them blasted pests from going up your pants!


THE JABIRU #2


The gigantic stork numbers in the rice field did mount

As I did unprecedentally 56 count

So there was no need to take a numerical stabiru

Until those Jabiru done did flew.


TIGHTS FOR FASHION #3


I know I keep trashin’

Tights worn for fashion

But it’s no stretch of my imaginashion

They’re the unseemliest ugliest things in creashion.


STIR-FRIED


Since the cooking I do is primarily Asian,

My go to utensil is a versatile stir-fry pan

For such dishes as Moo Goo Gai Pan-

But definitely not for flan.


FOIE-GRAS-GETIT


If a girl tells you she eats everything

To impress, don’t take her to an expensive gourmet restaurant

As soon your wallet will be spent

With you finding out that her definition of everything-

After she left the foie gras and escargot untouched without even nibbling-

Is a hamburger and fries or a pizza with every of her favorite topping.


SQUIDDISH


Calamari sauteed in olive oil with parsley, lemon and garlic sounds really good.

Squid prepared the same way doesn’t sound nearly as good.

PAWPAWS RAW

The blossom of the pawpaw smells like rotting meat

While this fruit’s flesh eaten raw is custardy sweet.

So, if you ever get your paws on them

You’ll know which part is best to eat.

CELERY

Even though very low in calorie

I don’t like celery

and neither should rabbits

As it’s too darn stringery.


AN EGGPLANT BY ANY NAME


In moussaka, baba ganoush, caponata or parmesan

I am so keen on eggplant

That I don’t care if they call it aubergine

Even though I disdain from eating French cuisine.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 04/25/15 12:06 PM
INFLUENZA

When you have the influenza

Everything you want to try do it sickly influencas,

So if you know how to slew that icky flu

Please let me knew

As not a drop or syrup has suppressed that nagging cough

So now it continues to hurt to lough.


PASTILLA


Don’t let the pigeon deter you

Not even for a smidgeon-

Of course if that fowl stricken instead you can use chicken

To go along with the almonds, eggs, and cinnamon

With a topping of a dough of phyllo.

So give this pie a go rather than a heave ho even if not in Morocco

As the delightfully rich pastilla will certainly fill ya.


SYCOPHANTS

With their cloying “Yes Sir, Yes Sir”

and their annoying “Mam all of your ideas I adore,”

What is deserving of those self-serving sycophants

Is an unnerving swift kick in the pants.


THE WILDEBEEST

The wildebeest bearded, horned, and herded

Looking offalo like a buffalo

Not exactly a feast for the eyes-

I don’t know about gnu,

but it’s a shame to killdebeast.


PARROT DROPPINGS

Parrots are messy inefficient eaters,

one clawing then unfinished dropping their food wherever they pleasers

but at least regarding those screechers

Consistent the same can be said about them as excreters.


THE WILLET


The shorebird Willet

Never to be confused with a Pullet

Although many a crab, worm or mollusc they pull it

Need not worry themselves about being grillit

or ever ending up in a skillet.


THE AMERICAN ROBIN


A hoppin’ robin that keeps earthly robbin’ them worms

Will feed its hungry chicks as they squirms.


THE SEA SERPENT


The Scotch are taken to the sea

Often with a bottle or two of whiskey

but when mistaken they see an eel bent

and drunkenly confuse it for a sea serpent

Having done far more than a wee bit of slurpent

Alas at last it’s time for them to repent.


THE MOCKINGBIRD


If you’re stalking

This bird that affects other avians’ talking

To make sure it is the one that’s mocking

With a view sans any blocking of that shocking squawking

Upon seeing it you’ll end up gawking.


NO SUITABLE OPTIONS


Since I am claustrophobic being buried would not be my pick

Nor would I reserve a place in an urn as I prefer not to burn

As well as not wanting to be bone chillingly frozen is not the way I would have chosen

Or nix to being mummified as it is so undignified.

So as for my last remains I think I will just decide to wholly remain.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 08/10/15 09:24 PM
DONALD TRUMP

Offending all like a clueless grump,

With an ego larger than any colossal redwood stump,

Runs at the mouth the demonically comical Donald Trump.

Voters cut him no slack,

as like that other famous Donald,

He is so far out of whack,

This guy is a real quack.

Thus for those followers of his that want Trump to triumph,

What is left to say other than HARUMPH!


HILLARY CLINTON


Definitely highly competent,

Her election as the first female president

Would set a long overdue precedent.

However what kind of message would be sent

As in days of yore her morality being absent

Perhaps would have given cause for Hillary to have been pilloried.


THE INCA JAY


Inca dinka dinka

Inca dinka do

I once did view an Inca Jay

Until I done did blinkad

and it inka dinkad flew.


THE JELLYFISH


Since I am sellyfish

It would be my bare footed squeamish beach wish

That it would be you and not I

Who would make the jellyfish go squish.


COCK OF THE ROCK


From a blind on a deck

I saw at dawn frenetic male Cock of the Rocks at their lek

Flamboyantly and loudly putting on a display

To attract a very choosy lady

of whom they would hope one would say

What the heck I will give that big boy more than a peck.




THE CANYON WREN


A insect gobbling denizen of many a Mexican canyon,

You could never find this wren in Sweden.

Then again, they hardly resemble any Sven.


THE GIANT HUMMNIGBIRD

At over six inches this Andean hummingbird is a real giant.

Glimpsed hovering for only a second or so,

You could not say he was very compliant.

Yet dexterously sucking down that nectar,

Gosh was he ever pliant!
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 08/12/15 06:31 PM
EDIBLE CACTUS NO SELECTUS

No pal of mine,

To that slimy paddle cactus

My involuntary reflectus

Displaying my culinary invectus

If anyone should asctus

Would be no no no no no no no no no no no no NOPAL!
Posted By: Mona - Astronomy Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 08/12/15 07:14 PM
TO XMEECOSMIC

I follow your verses
with laughter and curses,
envy and delight,
at some fancy's flight.
As I savour each line
of the comedy divine,
Arghh! I wish it were mine.

(Thank you for all your imaginative and amusing TerseVersen.)
Posted By: Lestie4containergardens Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 08/13/15 04:00 AM
Oh dear Oh dear oh dear
I have some bad news I fear
In Mexico Nopals abound
In fact I say, they're all around

Now that's not good news for Xmee
Of Nopals he says "they vex me!"
They prick, they squish and as you know
You'll find them all over Mexico!

If you don't live where Nopals grow
Then it's a choice for you ... and so
Feel sorry for Xmee, who it's plain to see
Is in the cactus more than you and me!

Hasta la Vista ... Mista!
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 08/15/15 01:40 PM
Thanks Mona and Lestie!

MUMS THE WORD

Having the antithesis of a green thumb,

When people view my garden not even do they reply euphumistically ho hum,

Rather like those fallen flowers they just remain mum.

THE JACKAL

A hyena with another name,

Not fit to be any game,

With a cry that will raise your hackles

If I hear a jackal

It I just want to smackal!
Posted By: Lestie4containergardens Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 09/22/15 10:09 AM
Hi there xmeecosmic,

Please contact me through my container gardening pages - I have lost all my records of everything, didn't back up did I! Darn telephone department wiped everything, I have lost so much I am still reeling. Anyway.

Cheers
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 10/09/15 08:55 PM
TOUCAN TOUCAN TOUCAN

Whether black-mandibled or keel-billed
For a colorful birdy dream fulfilled
In Costa Rica who can see many a Toucan?
You can, You can, You can...
Yet if you don't but see instead a collared or fiery-billed Aracari
You certainly won't be sorry.
Thank you all! I thoroughly enjoyed reading several of these. I am nowhere near as talented in this area so I will refrain from boring you all to tears. Keep em' coming though. Nice job!
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 10/30/15 10:49 AM
RAINING RAINING RAINING

Yes, I am complaining
That unseasonably it keeps on raining-
While it may be good for graining
I am certainly not feigning
For me it's a real paining
As drenched I can't even enjoy viewing one bird craning.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 10/30/15 12:26 PM
THE ROOTS OF A GEOLOGIST

I once had the urgy to be a member of the clergy

but when I came down to earth

I settled on metallurgy.



REPUBLICAN FOLLY BY GALLY


Donald Trump is a egotistical rump on the stump

While Ben Carson seems like a grump of a parson

So good luck to the the party of Sarah Palin

As its wish seems to self-destructively to keep on failin’.


CANTANKEROUS

Go ahead and call me cantankerous

After all it will only make me more angerous!







Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 10/30/15 01:25 PM
A FORUM

A Forum that has only one for a quorum
Moreum rather than less is a real snoreum.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 10/31/15 02:28 PM
THE BLACK-CHINNED HUMMINGBIRD

Heard it zipping by I lurched and spinned.

Yet flight unseen was I chagrinned,

However once perched then viewed I grinned

at that diminutive Hummingbird Black-Chinned.


PROCRASTINATION JUSTIFICATION

I oughta, I oughta, I oughta, I oughta, I oughta….

Nah, ’cause I don’t give an iota.


A SNIPPET OF A VERSE?

I had a sharp vision

That I’d be an object of derision

If I made the decision

Not to have a circumcision.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 11/06/15 02:56 PM
A PARAKEET BY ANY NAME???

A “parakeet” is really a budgie.

and a “conure” is truly some specie of a parakeet,

But even with a verbal nudgie,

What you call them they could give a bleat.


HILLARY CLINTON #2

Do not count me among those in that gallery,

but for many it’s impossible to swillary what so sayeth Hillary,

so they prefer that she just be pilloried.

TABBOULEH

Since I find bulgur vulgar

and parsley garsley,

I always boohla when served any tabbouleh.

So to eat it, I can’t be bribed with any amount of moolah.


A GERMAINE GERMAN

A germane German while meditating

Mainly maintains his mantra.


TO RANTULA

To rant!…To rant!… To rant!…

Here comes a tarantula!… Here comes a tarantula…Here comes a tarantula!…


THE MERGANSER


You can try to duck this anser.

What is a merganser?
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 11/09/15 02:04 PM
ALFALFA SPROUTS

How abouts some alfalfa sprouts?
Only if you want to see me pouts!


AMERICANIZED CHINESE FOOD

For Egg Foo Yung no wonder no song has been sung

but as for Chop Suey if there were one

It would just be so much MSG’d gooey hooey.


CUMIN

A diet consisting of only cumin

Would be considered inhuman.


MUNG BEANS


it’s not far flung to come to the culinary conclusion

Without any sense of confusion

That beans named mung will remain unsung

and in most households a legume unseen,

thus ungtasted by any tongue.


MATZOS

Here’s an unleavened question:

Whatsos Matzos?


ROUX

If in a stew or ragout you forget the roux

That may be a dish that making you will rue,

but if you add too much you’ll just end up with glue.


OFFAL


I’m a beliver in truth in advertising when it comes to offal,

be it brains, heart, kidney, tongue, trotter,lungs, tripe. or ear,

as they all are truly awful.


BEN CARSON

So calm and placid

With policy proposals superficially flaccid

It’s good that Ben Carson does not Trump-like rant,

yet still that surgeon is in dire need of a personality transplant.


ORIOLES


The Hooded, Streak-Backed, Altamira, and Orange can look quite similar,

So when my wife sees one or the other or the other or the other,

Excitedly and hurriedly she exclaims “oh, oh, oh.”

Thus, I know she’s seen some lovely named but nameless Oriole.


THE COOT



With an attitude displaying more pluck than any duck,

Often heard cavorting in some oozy muck,

This pond swimmer is seldom mute,

and is very cute when along the water it does comically skimmer and scoot,

Yet is so very common when viewed nary a birder gives a hoot.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 11/12/15 01:07 PM
LITTLE SHU-SHU'S OBSESSION

I recently rescued an abandoned pup I named Chiqui

Who our non Shih Tzu pooch Little Shu-Shu finds rather Icky

Since the other day she was eating Shu-Shu’s moo shu

So Shu-Shu is being quite tricky in trying to get her to shoo shoo.


THE NEW GNU


The new gnu knew not that it was a blue wildebeest its mother had just wrought.


DURIANS

The thought of eating a durian makes me hinky

As they are beyond stinky

and makes me yearn for a Twinkie.


ALFALFA SPROUTS

How abouts some alfalfa sprouts?

"Only if you want to see me pouts!"


THE PRESEDENTIAL DEBATES


It seems that the candidates are only filled with hates that they spates,

So heaven help us if to them we entrust our fates

As the best that they can proffer are petty slates-

Thus on my nerves they really really really grates.


BUSYNESS

The business of suburban life is busyness.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 11/23/15 08:33 PM
THE FIERY-BILLED ARACARI (AH-RA-SAH-REE)

I or we or less than a few can ever be sorry

if one view can this colorfully gorgeous toucan

Known as the Fiery-Billed Aracari.


THE BROWN PELICAN

A Pelican has got quite a gut

As loads and loads of fish to hold its bellican

and when unloaded it may smellican.


SPAM


Canned spam is a pseudo ham.

Electronic spam is a nouveau sham.

Now that you have that knowledge,

All that’s left is to put both in the garbage.


TWITTER

Twitter Twitter…

Fritter Fritter…


SERENDIPITY

The bad chance of happenstance merits only a wary glance,

While the good luck of serendipity elicits a yipptity, if not also a flippitty!


DONALD TRUMP STILL?!?!?!

Go ahead and be an angry and irresponsible chump

Vote for power hungry and irrepressible (?) Donald Trump.


PURPLE

Who says it’s hard to find a rhyme for purple?

What about maple slyrple?


CRACKERED

My parrot always wants a Ritz cracker.

If not received she becomes a screaming high pitched yacker.

Then all I want to do is smack her.


DEFEETED

Sometimes it seems as I verse with my feet,

Alas nothing composed is feted.

At those times I feel real defeated.


TRUMPED


Donald Trump the egotistical grump on the stump want to register every Muslim.

I just wish they’d permanently wrap his mouth with muslin.










Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 05/01/16 01:36 PM
THE MOCKINGBIRD

The Mockingbird is a talking bird

Who imitates many a word

and if it’s heard

It’s hard to not end up gawking,

Whether or not it’s what you’ve been stalking.


THE NATURE OF SOME PEOPLE

Some people upon seeing a turtle it they may hurtle

or a rabbit they may try to grab it

or an opossum or two they will toss ’em

and a bat they might take a bat at it

but,oh dear, when it’s a snake in fear they just quake.


THE VEERY

I’m not in much of a rush to see this thrush

as the Veery looks veery ordineery.


MIXING CULTURES

I wish I had a high IQ.

Then I’d be able to compose some haiku.

Instead all I do is make dim sum.


THE MONTEZEUMA OROPENDOLA

Did you see that clownish looking Montezeuma Oropendola as it zoomed on by?

It dependola’s whether or not you blinked.
Posted By: Mona - Astronomy Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 05/01/16 11:03 PM
Xmeecosmic, your verse continues to amuse me. Some of them are almost of blend of Ogden Nash and Piet Hein.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 05/02/16 09:33 PM
Thanks Mona for the compliment, but I have to admit I'm a Piet behind the Hein(es) and had to look him up-most impressive!

YOU SEE,YA CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE, SO YA GOT TO PLEASE YOURSELF


There's a gentleman who started a post on a political forum
Who Trumpling on me considers all of my verse there to be "spam"
To the point that he feels I am a "childish" sham,
but at night I don't toss and turn even though my poems he doesn't adoreum.
Posted By: Lestie4containergardens Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 05/03/16 02:48 AM
Hello there! I have just come back to earth from a trip around the galaxies and still need to sort out what is what! Ah ... to be home again Lestie!

Heard in a boredroom somehwhere...

"Oh dear Smithers, I do hope you don't take what I've just said as an insult?"

"Oh no Sir! For it to be an insult I'd have to value your opinion."

Cheers now
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 05/04/16 09:00 AM
Lestie, welcome back to planet Earth!

GOP-ped

Since his followers aren’t exactly rational

True believing in that unfounded trash n’ all,

They keep on supporting that espouser of the Enquirer National-

So adios Republican Party as it takes a Great Big Fall unfathomable.
Lestie and xmee, good to see you both. I am going to be posting aplenty today. Maybe I will rise like cream to the top! It will be a short rise, but could be fun! I am hot and feelin the Bern today!
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 05/05/16 07:17 AM
Hi Connie, glad to see you're back in the full swing of things and berning away!

THE HOODED MERGANSER

What little duck is extravagantly crested?

“Er, er I don’t know.”

Why it’s the hooded merganser.

“I shooded gotten that anzer!”


THE BOBOLINK

I think, I think, I think…

The one bird I want to see is the striking male bobolink.

So into the grasslands I shall slink,

but with my luck I’ll miss him when I blink.


THE GERBIL

Into my tea pot unbeknownst to me dropped a gerbil.

Soon to my disgust I discovered it wasn’t a bit herbal.


OSHKOSH B'GOSH

Every time I see a saccharine ad for Oshkosh B’gosh

Chagrinned I drop what I’m about to nosh

and start to get sloshed.


THE CEREAL KILLER

Liquor I’d never swiller,

but bowl after bowl of Special K I daily slay,

so you could say I’m a cereal killer.


TRUMPISM

Trumpism stands for the replacing of the values of the Red, White, and Blue.

Please, please, please tell me that ismn’t true.


HILLARY ISN"T INTO SUCH SWILLARY


If Hillary was into swillary

She could name him Donald the Fraud

or Donald the Clown Crier

or Trump the Rump

but since she is above such classless Donald foolery

You can only rest assured that Donald will never be fondled.
Gerbil infused water just sounds nasty! Clever rhymes, though.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 05/06/16 06:52 PM
THE CEDAR WAXWING

“What in the world is a cedar waxwing?”

Well, not so obviously then, it’s a gorgeous berry-eating bird

Known never to be fasting,

Along with exhibiting a thrilling high-pitched trilling-

So thanks for asking.


THE WILLET

When not flying this large sandpiper looks stodgy and plain,

But unlike the duck they have no reason to complain

As a willet does not have to worry about dodging a bullet,

Thus it will never ever end up in a skillet.


IRAN

It’s not that I rant

but I’d like to urge ya

to purge ya

of all your hate

for that tyrannical state

known as Iran.

So just remember to go back in time and call it Persia.


GIVING THE DEVIL HID DUE

Yes towards him I have been most critical

Considering that he is so boisterously hypocritical

but now I must admit it’s time to give the devil his due,

“So Mr. Trump you have a lovely hair-do.”


A WELL THOUGHT OUT POLICY

“Let’s deport all those Mexican immigrants!”

Why?

“Because it supports our lexicon of ignorance.”
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 05/07/16 05:57 PM
Mona, thanks for clueing me in on Piet Hein and if you're reading this I was going to post the following verse on your Grook thread instead of here but after composing(?)it then I noticed that the Grook I chose was the last one on the thread so...


"THOSE WHO KNOW" GROOK

“Those who always

know what’s best

are

a universal pest.”

The above is a Piet Hein poetic grook

of which I can’t compose any because I’m too much of a schnook,

but at least I didn’t plagiarize it so I ain’t no crook.


GLOBAL WARMING

Manmade or not,

Let the global warming battle be fought.

All I know is when it’s really really hot

In my kitchen those darn ants keep on stoval swarming.


FELAFEL AGAIN!

The first time my wife made that Middle Eastern dish

They had so much cumin

That consuming them was cruel and inhuman,

and the next time she prepared felafel

They weren’t good

but after eating them at least I didn’t feel awful.


BLINI PLEASE

If you want to stay skinny sure you should eat zucchini,

but gram for gram

as for carbohydrates I don’t give a damn,

I’d much rather eat a ton of blini.


EVEN ANY IMPROVEMENT IN VISION WOULD BE BETTER


This is the year of the pie in the sky fraud populist.

His followers would be better off seeing even a flawed oculist.


HUH?

The Donald deserves to be demonized

As the country he wants it to be de-homogenized.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 05/13/16 11:46 AM
A VERSE WITHOUT PITHY


All my terse verse I consider rather pithy

but my readers just shake their heads and say “what a pity.”


CHIQUI


Our lively puppy Chiqui is very tricky

Looking for food all of the time

Since she’s not at all picky

Even the lime from a rickey,

Turning even a large meal into a quicky-

Leaving her bowl salively sticky.

All of this I find very icky

Until wagging her tail she comes up to lick me.


LITTLE SHU-SHU'S FLU


Our pooch Little Shu-Shu

Has gotten the flu.

She eschews eating any moo shu

and all she can do is go hachoo hachoo.


THE BISON


Buffaloes are very forgiving as they never feud amongst each other

Whether it be son, daughter, father or mother

Since the herd is always willing to let bisons be bisons.


THE GOOSE


When a goose takes a gander at a gander

and they choose to begin procreatively jostling,

Do you think they know that will produce a few gosling?


HUMDRUM


Ho Hum. Ho Hum. Ho Hum. Ho Hum. Ho Hum. Ho Hum. Ho Hum…

My life is so hum drum.


THE IMPRESSION OF DEPRESSION


The Impression Of Depression

When you’re down nothing is a slam dunk.

I’m in a such a damn funk.

This

is

how

far

I’ve

slunk.


A SUGGESTION FOR MR.TRUMP

Now Mr. Trump you say all what you say is not a policy proposal

but rather just a “suggestion”

Since you aren’t yet president

(perish the thought as that would be an unthinkable precedent),

Which either way for many is cause for indigestion.

Having turned into a true scary politician

Where nary you speak is a promise to keep,

For you I have a heartfelt suggestion,

“why don’t you take a flying leap.”
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 05/23/16 07:22 PM
CALVES LIVER

In life there are givers and takers

As well as haves and haves not.

So when it comes to calves liver

I’d always be a giver

Although I’d rather just be a have not.


SERVED WITH AN EXTRA SMALL GLASS OF CREAM SODA

A open-faced sandwich of fresh frozen oven fried turkey ham and boneless ribs

With all natural artificial seasoning

Is pure adulterated oxymoronic reasoning.


GREEN MUNG BEANS

There’s really not much to say about the unsung mung

Other than it has a coming out

and turns into a bean sprout.


GUN CONTROL

“Guns don’t kill people, people do,”

May be true-

but isn’t it unconstitutional to put locks on people?


THE RAVEN


Brave not craven,

the raven is brazen,

to the point that some people would prefer to see them braising.


THE WHITE TRUFFLE

This truffle isn’t a trifle

Since it’s a fungus whose price is humongous.


THE EEL

Nobody empathizes with eels

Because who the heck cares how they feels.


THE PLIGHT OF THE CELERIED EMPLOYEE

Sure organic is very expensive

but during a break from my job at the upscale vegetable store

I became quite pensive

and realized my salary should be more than just celery.


AN EXPLANATION FOR MY LOW SELF-ESTEEM

t has been sagely said that success begets success,

Which explains why my life is such a mess

Since as a baker I can’t even make a decent baguette.


SO LONG REPUTATION

A woman from Indonesia was invited to a party

Which she incorrectly assumed was going to be of the garden variety.

When she arrived, embarrassed, this guest was aghast.

Having lost face, she started to pace.

Looking down at her apparel it was apparently far too normal.

“This is so wrong!”

“I should have worn a formal sarong.”



WHY DID HE HUG THAT SLUG?


Why would anybody love parasistoids?

Who knows!

You’d probably have to ask Freud.


THE LESSER AND GREATR ROAD RUNNER

When it too infrequently does appear

Almost as if from out of thin air

This cuckoo won’t spook you

As the goofy-looking roadrunner who’s a visual stunner

Fleetingly footingly zigzags up the trail,

Then hopping-skipping-jumping-flying over a wall or rail

Displaying not only its flamboyant tail

but that there’s no bird that’s funner.
Posted By: xmeecosmic Re: OgdenBlogden TerseVersen - 06/14/16 04:56 AM
SAUCE SRIRACHA

Sriracha is a Thai hot chili sauce

That’s hard to predict if for you it will be the condiment which really tops them all.

So all I can say to you is what my mother said to me:

Que sriracha sriracha whatever will be will be

The future’s not ours to see

Que sriracha sriracha.


SCALLION PANCAKES


Preparing them is as easy as can be.

All you need is flour, salt, water, and minced scallion.

With very little muscle power you roll them out round and fairly thin,

but if you’re messy like me with flour everywhere from the floor, counter, and rolling pin

to all over my person,

to clean up after making them takes a scrubbing, sweeping, and mopping battalion-

so in the future for my sanity, hair’s, and jean’s sake I’ll forsake making those pancakes.


WHEN THE SAINTS KEEP MARCHING ON AND ON...


From early morning to late in the evening

With church bells clanging and clanging…

With sky rockets blasting and blasting…

With brass bands blaring and blaring…

Everyday in our small Mexican pueblo seems like a perpetual Saints Day

With noisy procession after procession…

Making me pray for a strong street clearing tropical depression.


SOFTENER?


When my wife is away I kind-of-sort-of do the laundry,

Even though I’ve been repeatedly asked then told not to.

I must admit hers comes out way whiter or brighter,

Way cleaner, softer, straighter, and drier.

That’s why both she and I couldn’t be happier

She’s not a frequent flier.


TABOULEH


Mostly parsley with olive oil some tomatoes, cucumber, and bulgur wheat

If you’re an extreme carnivore tabouleh on your dining room table would be taboo

and if it somehow made it way there would get a resounding boo.


THE PERSIMMON


A fruit with a bland personality

In my opinion

If you ate only persimmon

You’d certainly be a slim one

Full of mineral and vitamin

but as a diet for a homo sapien

it would be boring and a grim one.


RABBIT FOOD


Sure it’s low in calorie

But it’s dirty, stalky, and stringy.

You may say I’m picking on celery

As I don’t like it even a little bit,

Thus it’s a good thing we have a not so picky rabbit.


LENTILS


Unlike bruise easy basil,

What I like about lentils

is that you don’t have to handle them gentles.


[b]OH NO TO A LIMA BEAN



Oh no little lima bean

Forever you shall remain unseen

For anything that’s related to succotash

Will be banished to the trash.


A VEGAN'S REPLY


Ovine or bovine?

I’d rather mine comes from the vine.
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