BellaOnline Forums Books and Music Poetry Autumn Poetry

Ok I posted an article about Autumn poetry and included a short analysis of Swinburne's Hendecasyllabics. Yes, that is a word. Also, he uses the longest sentences I have seen in a while. But his imagery is lovely. Anyone else have an autumn poem to analyze or just enjoy?

Karena Andrusyshyn
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Karena,

Love your article! It captures the poem beautifully and usefully. Swinburne is fine choice for exploration, an underrated thinker and craftsman, in my opinion.

Also thanks for asking! Here is one of my autumn poems:


Autumn in our Backyard

for Ronald

Winter coming on catches me at the sliding door
summing up blessings, fixed between you and the glass.

The vegetable garden is losing its summer blush
& the flower bed is turning back its quilt.

Shadows of the evergreens lengthen into afternoon.
The sycamore submits to the grass its finished poems.

And the grass fingers each leaf until snow covers them.
The grass is steadier than tomatoes, reminding you

of summer as long as it holds the word.
The grass underwrites all that happens here,

hives worms, carpets feet, spreads a tablecloth for birds,
patterns a flag for the poet.

Winter coming on catches me reading the remnants of summer
watching the shuffle of autumn in our backyard.



Photo by Jorge Sousa Pinto

Hi Linda Sue,

I like that. I stumble a little on the pronoun "you" even though you did state that this was "for Ronald". It just gets in the way of experiencing the narrative of the poem, as it makes me stop and try to understand who "you" is. Most difficult is "between you and the glass" as I cannot find anyone else there.

I love the line about the flower bed turning back its quilt. That is a wonderfully telling image.The other images are also bery good. The lengthening shadows is good. I do wonder why you did not do more with the grass, since it does seem important in this poem. You say what it does with the rest of the elements that are changing, but you show no change in the grass. You personify it to a certain extent but then do not develop that aspect.

I really like the sentiment in the poem of the moment frozen in time as you observe the arrival of autumn. I also agree with you about Swinburne being largely ignored, but a powerful voice. He was little appreciated by his contemporaries also for his divergence from accepted norms.

Thanks for the comments.
Karena
Poetry

OK So here are a couple of short poems I wrote about Autumn.

The Last Rose

Pink tipped with brave buds
Stripped of half its leaves
The wind has finally stopped
and the prettiest blooms have dropped

Ice whipped but standing
I fear for you still
the freeze will burn slate
Should I cut them or wait?

Wild November and roses still bloom
and rose hips ripen all bright
I snip then leave you securely tied
and take all your jewelry inside


The second poem shares some sense of sound with your poem, Linda Sue.

Autumn Song

They stand like soldiers in camouflage
shushing the wind, their ravaged branches
snatching at the dappled leaves that rush away
on the swift current of an unseen tide,
falling at length to rattle the pavement,
beating hypnotic rhythms as they dance,
beguiling the children,
luring them into the evening chill.
"Come play with me," the whispered chant,
"Come play with me before the snow can bind my feet."
Joy stirs the piles of crackling leaves,
with no thought of raking,
and winter snow for sculpture,
not for shoveling,
but dreams for making

I know the second poem still needs something, but I have not yet discovered what.

Karena Andrusyshyn
Poetry

A couple of enjoyable poems, Karena. Thanks for sharing!

But if you realize the "you" is "Ronald," I'm not sure I see how you stumbled or why you would stop and try to understand something that you understood.




You're right; the grass is important to the poem, and it appears in 4 of the 7 couplets. There is no change, because the grass has not changed at this point in time: "The grass is steadier than tomatoes, reminding you / of summer as long as it holds the word." The change from green to brown will happen later, depending on what type of grass it is. But continued observation of the grass would detract from the speaker's intent, which is simply "summing up blessings."

Hope this helps.

Ladies -

Lovely poems.

Linda Sue, it is great to have you come back and visit us. I have missed your poetry and presence here.

Karena - Welcome to BellaOnline. It is a pleasure to have you and your poems here.

I am not a poet, but I will be enjoying your poems and articles.

Thank you, Sandra! You are a wonderful audience for poetry, and you were so helpful as a mentor at BellaOnline. The forum is addictive, it seems! Just had to come back and post.

Yers, of course: pausing to note the change of seasons and the grass stays the same. Carl Sandberg thought it stayed the same throughout history.


Grass
By Carl Sandburg
Pile the bodies high at Austerlitz and Waterloo.
Shovel them under and let me work—
I am the grass; I cover all.

And pile them high at Gettysburg
And pile them high at Ypres and Verdun.
Shovel them under and let me work.
Two years, ten years, and passengers ask the conductor:
What place is this?
Where are we now?

I am the grass.
Let me work.
Karena
Poetry

Thank you Sandra, Yes I really appreciate Linda Sue's presence. It is really hard to talk to yourself in a forum:)

Karena
Poetry