Way back in May 2011, I posted an item on my newly created blog a piece called "Tribal Instinct", and began it with these two paragraphs:
[size:8pt]"Our two grand-daughters (aged ten and seven) are coming to visit in July for three weeks. It will be bliss for us. Theyâ€™re lovely girls, and a joy to have around. Even if they were horrible kids, Iâ€™d put up with them just to have my son here; but theyâ€™re not horrible at all. I adore them, and would without hesitation die for them, if I had to.
"It is surely some kind of genetic instinct, to love oneâ€™s grandchildren â€“ a simple extension of the instinct that makes us protect our own children. Except that in my familyâ€™s case, the older girl was inherited. She carries none of my genes, or my sonâ€™s. My genetic instinct really should not allow me to love and protect and cherish her as much as her younger sister. Yet it does, and I do. Assuming Iâ€™m not deluding myself about that, my loyalty to the older one must not be genetic at all, but tribal."[/size:8pt]
I went on to explore (within my 600-word limit!) WHY it was that I felt no special bond to my blood-grandchild. Of course we know several step-families, but one can't really ask the parents, "Do you love your stepkids as much as your 'real' kids?" Now, can you!?
My son draws absolutely no distinction between the two girls, as far as I can tell. He has been separated from their mother for seven or eight years, and they were never married; but they share formal custody of both girls. A couple of years ago the inherited one decided to [i]informally[/i] adopt her Dad's (my son's) surname as her own, on her school's register.
I'd be interested to know if there is any interest in this topic of step-grandchildren. My own circumstances probably aren't typical, and I'm keen to learn of others'.
Last edited by Gordon Barlow; 05/27/14 07:17 AM.