BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Buddhism Do Not Complain for 1 Month

Susan -

Those are great suggestions! I do definitely find that "burning off energy" can be a good way to feel better.

Lisa -

I'm glad that so many people are talking about meditation in a variety of ways. It might be that a career-drive musician might not read a touchy-feely book about meditation, but they would read one about "how to get ahead" with meditation. Whatever it is that hooks them, at least they're then learning the techniques .

Do Not Complain Reboot 34 Day 5 -

The event that tripped me up on that last round was, once again, the mess in the house. It was a relatively minor thing but I think because this is such an ongoing problem it builds and builds and then I just snap. This emphasizes for me that handling the underlying issue is key. The fact that I have stress building over time isn't good for me or for my projects I'm working on.

I need to take a two pronged approach.

One, of course, I need to work on the mess. And I am making that effort. Every day I organize just one area. I work diligently down my to-do list. There is progress being made.

Two, though, is I have to be at peace with the current state. Living stressed until a magical day when the house is completely clean seems to be unhealthy. I need to find a place of peace in my mind where I say "yes the house is messy, and it is getting better. It's better than it used to be. And that is all right."

I've pondered why the mess bothers me so. We can't have people over right now, and that bothers me. I'd like to have friends visit for wine or whatever and we can't. Also, we tend to have to waste time hunting for things. I am already incredibly behind on many projects. Time spent on hunting for things is time I could have been catching up on my email backlog. So those things are like the drips of water torture. I need to change my mindset on that. This is all within my own mind.

I need to just have friends over anyway and be content that it's messy when I do.

When I look for things, I need to look at it as an opportunity to clean. It's not "wasted time". It's time I am now investing in making things better. That way each hunting expedition is actually a good thing, to help the house get cleaner.

I haven't documented my do-not-complain project in a while. I began this back in 2008 and it is an ongoing process. I have my ups and downs, but like so much in life the benefit is in simply being aware and striving to improve.

I'll call this round Reboot B1 - I think occasionally being attentive to the project helps.

This weekend has been a lovely one. My son is over visiting, I got to spend some time with a friend at her yard sale, and I made progress on two different novels. I'm about to publish my two short stories. We're finalizing the latest issue of the Mused Literary Review which looks just gorgeous. And I got some lovely photos of the cosmos and morning glories in the back yard after I did yoga. So I'm feeling quite content and grateful for what life has to offer.

Once again I'm renewing attentiveness to my Do-Not-Complain project, we'll call this Reboot C1. I've been through so much this past month, with the server crash, data loss, and server move. I strove through it all to stay calm and focused. Getting riled up and angry would have made my tasks more difficult. It's not that I was a doormat. I spoke up strongly and repeatedly to the hosting company in order to get things fixed. But I strove not to "whine" - I strove to lay out the issues, lay out our needs, and work hard to achieve them.

I find that positive energy works wonders. As part of this crash and data loss we lost nearly all of our Mused submissions for the upcoming issue. And with the server issues I couldn't email the Mused community to let them know. When I finally got things working I emailed everyone with the state we were in and made a plea for them to resubmit. They all rallied, raced, and we got a normal full blast of submissions to work with! It was awe-inspiring and amazing. Everyone wanted to help.

In amongst all of this, Lulu (who I use to have some books on iTunes and Barnes & Noble) had a glitch and put live two books that were supposed to be Kindle Exclusive. Amazon immediately spotted that and they stripped ALL of my books out of the Kindle Exclusive program. I have 133 books in Kindle, and a fair portion of them were Kindle Exclusive. They had been seeing substantial sales. Rather than get angry, I took a deep breath and looked at that situation. I wrote Amazon to see if they'd undo the change. But I'm also looking at putting all my books out on all platforms. If this is to be my new situation, this could be a very good one - and thank goodness it happened with some lead time before the holidays. I have time to get everything up, live, and set (with Bob's help) to take advantage of all those holiday purchasers. So this could be a great opportunity. If Amazon does indeed put them back into Kindle Unlimited that would be fine too. So I'm just waiting to hear which way they're going to go.

I have so much to be grateful for. A warm house to live in. I'm making progress on the decluttering. We brought in all our potted plants and we have marigolds, peppers, lavender, saffron crocus, and all sorts of cool things growing for me. I have my artwork up in five different galleries. I'm working on an illustrated haiku chapbook that I'm really enjoying. Debi and I are working on an illustrated children's book which I'm loving. I have wonderful friends and a darling boyfriend. To complain that life has its normal ups and downs seems silly. Half the world lives in pennies a day and barely has clothes or food. I am grateful.

You have certainly had your share of potential 'trigger' moments this month! I have had too, of a different sort- more family issues, etc. I have really had to call upon detachment and self-awareness to not get pulled into old emotional patterns. Some of these old patterns would cause me to move into negativity, complaining etc., and although that did happen at times, for the most part I was able to see through those 'waves' when they started to arise. A big difference from many years ago.

Evening meditation time. I got this box in the mail.

Me: What is this?
Bob: That's the New York Times "T".
Me: That's ridiculous. How can you recognize a T? It could be anything.
Bob: That's the New York Times "T".
Me: *opens the box*

Yup, it was the New York Times "T". He gets an "A" in Mindful Awareness.

#namaste

It's been over ten years since we began the Do Not Complain project! That's pretty amazing!

I'm going to start a fresh reboot on mine. We'll see how tomorrow goes!

Do Not Complain Project on my site MeditateTips - I'm tracking it there too :).

Will you join me?

I have been challenged these past few weeks because it seems every site upgrade I attempt has all sorts of bizarre problems occur, including this update to these forums. Also, lack of sleep makes it hard to handle those challenges :).

I am taking a nap now. When I awake, I will strive to make it through the day and night without a grumpy complaint! Pointing out issues in a healthy manner is always OK.

How are you doing on this project?

I find it so incredibly powerful to take ownership of one's choices and decisions in life. To realize that we are each in control of our destiny.

We are surrounded by blessings, if we open our eyes to see them.

We always have the tools to handle hurdles. We just have to take a deep breath and take that first step.

That's what the No Complaining project is about. Avoid wasting precious energy on just pointing fingers at others. Use that energy to make things better for yourself.