BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Buddhism Do Not Complain for 1 Month

Reboot 20 Day 2 -

I do still hit hiccups, and they are informative, to help me review my life and what my "triggers" are. So I did hit a hiccup last night, and it began with the quite messy state of the house, me tripping over something that has been in the kitchen for at least a month, and being grumpy about it.

Clearly, having a mess everywhere impacts my serenity. So I need to take more proactive action to get this mess cleaned up and put away.

Reboot 20 Day 11 -

Bob and I get into intriguing discussions now about what exactly constitutes a complaint. If I make a request, but it's in a frustrated tone, is that a complaint? He'll ask - and he means this genuinely - "could you have said that in a different tone?" And I'll stop and think about it. And often I do see that while I worked to choose healthy words, I still let frustration color them.

Certainly one could say "If I am frustrated I should express it rather than bottle it up". And that is true. But then the next step should be, "why am I allowing this to frustrate me? Is it really worth sapping my energy and health levels over this? How can I deal with it in a positive way?"

Case in point - the mess in the house. It's not rocket science. The mess makes me cranky. But griping about it clearly doesn't help . If I just keep griping, that won't lead to a positive outcome. Action needs to be taken. The mess won't clean itself . So I need to map out a plan, and implement it. That would be a far better use of my energy, and would lead long term to a much happier Lisa.

Reboot 21 Day 7 -

I did get cranky last weekend, and it was over something that I shouldn't have let get to me. So again a reminder that I should take a deep breath and not allow "minor things" to bring stress into my world. My health is important. My ability to help others serenely is important. The more I manage my stress, the more I can help others and be healthy myself.

I feel I've done well this past week. There were various hurdles, yes, but by thinking about them I was able to find a solution of some sort.

We choose our reactions. And, in a very palpable way, we choose the world we live in. We can choose to react to something with equanimity or with stress. Why choose stress? Stress harms us. By choosing even a non-reaction we store up our energy to be used for more important projects.

One day at a time!

Reboot 21 Day 13 -

Today could have been a test of my "do not complain" project. I am entering three abstract photos into a photo show. The drop-off period, to drop the photos off at the gallery, was yesterday and today from 4-7. I was planning on doing it yesterday, but when I began framing yesterday morning I realized I'd printed my prints with too much of a white margin. You could see strips of white on the edges of the photo. I also found that I really liked the combination of black mat and black frame for all three photos. I only had two frames like that. So we went out to Michael's and got another one. We weren't home until late. I then reprinted the three photos at the proper size and left them overnight to dry.

So that left today for framing and bringing them in. I woke up at 2pm or so and came down to start the process. It always takes me a while to frame photos because bits of white dust fall from the frame, get caught against the mat, and then show up as glaring spots in the final image. So there's a lot of cleaning, mounting, sealing up, finding the spots, unsealing, and so on. Eventually I get it just right where no dust has fallen into the viewable areas.

So there it was, 4:30pm and I had everything framed and ready to go. And then I realized there weren't connection points to run the wire from. The gallery requires the frames be "wired" for hanging. Usually the frames have enough of those rotating "hold the back in place" thing to just tie the wires onto those. But these frames didn't. And we don't have any of those little eye-hook things in the house.

So Bob is running off to Home Depot, so he can get home with the eye hooks, so I can wire the frames, so we can get them to the gallery by the 7pm deadline. Which is in 2 hours .

Sure, I could complain. But it's my own fault for waiting until the last minute to print out and frame these things. And it's not the end of the world. He'll get the eye hooks, we'll wire them up, and it'll be fine. And even if something else happens, and I miss the deadline, then I'll live. It's just one gallery show. Life will go on.

So I think that is the key. To prepare as much as you can so you have time to handle all the normal hurdles life has. And if you go get into a situation where you have to handle hurdles quickly, to simply do your best. It doesn't help to get stressed. In most cases being stressed makes it worse. Just do your best, and keep it in perspective.

How are you guys doing today, with the normal hurdles in your lives?

Reboot 22 Day 1 -

Well, it was the mess that did me in again. I was in the kitchen climbing past Bob's amplifier and over the Dremel tool we were using to wire up my photos for my photo show, to get to my morning shake. I got in OK, but on the way out I tripped and banged my knee fairly hard. So first I let loose with some oaths, which I don't count as complaining as that is "pain reaction". But then I got into muttering about the mess, which is more in the complaining department . It shows again, if we'd just keep the mess down, I wouldn't be triggered by it.

And the mess *was* down only a few weeks ago when we had friends visit - so this is all new mess. Which I think is part of what frustrates me. No need for dremel tools and amplifiers in the kitchen!

So starting the counter again at day one

Reboot 23 Day 6 -

This most recent reboot was caused by a combination of the kitchen mess and me being quite hungry. I find that when I'm hungry I'm less able to cope with other stress. So it's a good reminder to me to eat regular, small, healthy meals and snacks. That keeps me on an even keel.

So far today is going smoothly. Oodles of things to do, but I am moving through them one step at a time. Sangria always helps too .

It is amazing how much the physical, mental and emotional levels works together. I find the busyness of my mind picks up when I don't eat regularly or exercise, and then it is harder to maintain my equanimity too.

Do Not Complain project Reboot 24 Day 2 - lack of sleep and frustration with rudeness did me in. I snapped at someone. Not good. I'd tried to cram in helping out at an Art show Sat, driving 1.5 hrs to an art gala dinner Sat night, then driving 1.5 hrs back Sun morn to work the art show again. Little sleep. At the gala, people were talking loudly during the speeches which bothered me a lot.

Then at the Sun art show, a local station was video-taping the award ceremony and again people were talking loudly in the background during that taping. I tried to ignore it. But then during a final segment someone was about to walk right *in front of the camera* to go and take his painting down which was the key focus art right behind the interview. I was a bit curt in pointing out to him that - hello! They are filming! Please wait just two minutes! #donotcomplain

Reboot 26 Day 2 - I find I get much better about being aware of my "approach to grumpiness" now and take steps to fix the underlying issue - my hunger, my cold, or whatever it is that has disturbed my basic serenity. This latest situation helped illustrate that to me.

I adore folding origami. It's soothing and serene. My latest project was a large order for a client of 36 strings of 10 cranes each, in a rainbow of colors. The colors were stunning, and they were just so pretty. But - and I know this - stringing them is a challenge. The fishing line loves to tangle. And working on 36 of them, if they get anywhere near each other they wrap up.

I had a number of other time-sensitive projects, too, so I was not getting much sleep, and at one point I got grumpy with the tangling cranes. I complained.

But then I thought about it. Here I am doing something I love. I'm bringing beauty into the world. And I know they will tangle! So to get upset about them tangling is silly. It is a part of the process.

Then Bob helped me rig up a stringing device, and I put on a snuggly robe, and made some tea, and soon the stringing was meditative and peaceful.

It's all about one's frame of mind .


It's my own serenity and health that I'm caring for, by paying attention to these mood changes. And of course that ripples out to everyone who depends on me.

Lisa,

Those are absolutely STUNNING! And I do agree w/everything you mention, about state of mind.

I always go back to the Tibetan monks, fleeing even through treacherous conditions, yet through state of mind, together, they were able to survive the extremes.

I have a saying, "Perception is 9/10th's of 'the law'" - The law, being or meaning "The Law of Nature."

It can feel like turning a stiff steering wheel when the "Grumpies" hit. But, once you get that OTHER state of mind, there's more a feeling of smooth sailing - set on cruise control.

From there, it's like a set of Domino's tagging along and everything else, just seems to fall right into place.