I really wish I knew how to make this into a separate topic
There are so many, just such good points and "Touch-stones?"
I have to skim. That's just what I have to do, to keep doing something that for me is a challenge.
Currently, I'm watching, lol, my basil die. We had a quick frost out here. But my husband couldn't understand why that would make me sad. So, I had to explain it to him like this:
"Imagine in the middle of your "levels" of an X-box game you might be playing, all the sudden, your blue-"something" gives out and the one thing you really loved to do, dies on you.
I have a hard time w/whatever, agoraphobia (but I try and overcome it). All of my jobs, even at the brokerage firm I managed, I had my own office. So, small-quarters.
Dv'rs (the success stories) it most likely took everything they had, just to breath in and out each day or wish to God to put them out of their misery.
Where I used
to have a farm and garden freely outdoors? I now work w/one of those indoor-lights to garden. Trust
sure that's in there, it took me 3 yrs., just to begin to trust my own husband.
Still, for the men or women trying to or recovering from DV, "control" is usually the very last thing on their minds.
Each day is a step forward, no matter how small. But DV-er's I'd love to actually head a support group or something, because it's like layers of an onion...
Each one, that you (don't have the right words) but maybe conquere (sp)? is a step in the right direction.
As far as surgery or sedation and anxiety...I don't know how to properly or the "protocol" I can write this.
But, most DVr's are in a relationship of some type. And they are, even after all else, especially walking on eggshells, are expected to preform sexually and simply want it over as quickly as possible.
Each situation is diffeent...some even co-dependant. But the surgery and such, that area - there might be something along those line in there.
I'll tell you what though...as deep as this stuff can go, depending who has the most money, records disappear and in my case even the officers who said they would testify if it came down to it, were all transfered out of the town completely. Every one of them.
The rest testified on my ex's behalf...ya, I think trust is in there. Thanks for clarifying
It helps...all of us who've had the misfortune of going through it. Not discounting their strenghts - if that makes sense?