BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Depression Greetings!!!

I have suffered from depression all of my life and I just turned 57. I have grown so weary of that! I would like to form a network of Friends who are there for each other no matter what. Is there anyone out there who would be interested in this? I am into many things, most of all helping myself and anyone who wants to find a better way to live!! StarPeridot

Yes, I would.. I too have suffered since age 16 and now I'm 51.

You've definitely come to the right place, starPeridot.

There are several of us on here that suffer from Bipolar or Depression, and the support system here is wonderful. You won't find a better group of folks.

Hi Burt, Thank you for responding to my friend request. It means so much to make a new friend. I live in Belleville, Illinois with my husband Bill and our Brittany dog girl MissyLou. We enjoy hunting, fishing and camping. I also enjoy sewing. MissyLou and I are going start puppy-be-good lessons soon and with her as my first student, I am going to learn dog training. What do you enjoy doing?

Hi Michelle, Thank you for your kind words and your response to my friend request. I enjoy being creative. I sew a lot and I make phone cases, gun cases, clothing and when I get my commercial machine I want to learn upholstery and how to work with leather. I love to learn new things and for me, learning is a very healing experience. What are your hobbies?

Hi starPeridot

Thank You for your upbeat message !!!

Connie and I live in Ormond Beach FL and have to shuttle back and forth to property in Holly Hill / Daytona Beach.

We oversee an 8-room Mom & Pop Motel.

My sickness prevents me from owning property, so the house and motel is in a trust run by a tax attorney lady.

Connie is much better at dealing with the people, so for 6 months out of the year, she has to be alone running the property, and I have to run the house alone.

Well, it's a great strain on both of us and just recently she was able to move back home, "Thank You Jesus" !!!

So, you caught me at a good time.

We have 5 cats at the house and a bird which travels with Connie.

Two cats at the motel and a dog.

Goodness !!!

I have to take 3 medications in the morning and 3 at night.

Most of the time, I like to sit quietly and work out my thoughts and feelings to keep calm and stable.

Connie started an on-line garage sale about 3 years ago and has about 3000 members.

It was very difficult to keep all of those people, "playing nice", so good fortune stepped in, and now someone in Montreal Canada has figured out how to manage it well and she is in the
process of shifting everyone over to: https:
//www.varagesale.com/users/sign_in

So, a lot of quiet time looking at the river, playing with the cats and watching them sleep is what I do to cope.

I've had a very horrific battle and man has it left some scars !

I just want to heal and be left alone.

I have been hospitalized, institutionalized, incarcerated, homeless, hungry and penniless several times over.

I would never, ever, ever, wish the horrors I've experienced upon my worst, worst enemy.

Just quiet alone with my thoughts is the best thing I can do now to heal.

I keep a bunch of computers running smoothly.

I smoke a lot of cigarettes, and stay in the house all day every day.

Connie and I have no education so we came to work for my dad.

We were live-in caregivers until he passed in 2009 at the age of 87 years.

I have a hard time staying and keeping upbeat because during the time that Connie and I were helping out at the motel, and serving as caregivers while hospice came to help out, my biological brothers who have college did everything they could to push Connie and I on the street.

We were already there because of our illness.

They thought it just was a lazy excuse.

It was and is not.

My Mom, Grandma and Aunt had it.

I got it real bad being the youngest.

I didn't have kids because I didn't want to pass it down.

But, Connie is back home, and I'm doing much better.

It took 25 years to find the right medication, and I'm grateful for that.

I went through a very powerful mystical experience in 1983, and I couldn't understand it, my family couldn't and the doctors could not.

I heard the Voice of God and the voices of demons.

It scared the living bejesus out of me, and ended me up in a straight-jacket.

I don't mess with any of that heavy duty mystical stuff anymore, because it is too darn frightening !!!

I understand that psychosis is an actual mystical experience, and they even say so in the Wikipedia:

http:
//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosis#cite_ref-105

But the cats and the quiet and the sunshine do much to heal me.

But, my brothers tried to physically harm me even at our father's wake.

I'm just so glad that is all over with.

I do understand though that the suppression of the female energy has been going on for centuries and I hang out in The Goddess forum a lot over here:

http:
//forums.bellaonline.com/ubbthreads.php/topics/834740#Post8834732

And I have established some good, solid friendships over there.

Welcome Aboard

I hope I can help you and your loved ones in some measure.

Sincerely,

Burt B.

I love to read, and I enjoy writing as well. In fact I write for the SciFi/Fantasy Movies site here at BellaOnline.

I also enjoy making jewelry - mostly just beading. But I love seeing what combinations I can come up with and watching how different colors play together.

I had gotten out of enjoying all of this for quite a few years. In addition to taking an anti-depressant I was on Abilify for my mood swings due to Bipolar. We finally figured out that my lack of interest in everything was due to the Abilify being too high, so a few months ago my doctor adjusted the dose down some and I found my creativity again.

I've tried sewing in the past, I'm not terribly good at it, but then again I was trying to teach myself. I made one dress for my daughter for Easter several years ago that I felt turned out cute, but that was the only one I accomplished. I admire you for being able to sew!

Burt, I don't think I've ever heard your whole story before. Wow, you have been through a lot. No wonder you don't want to leave the house - that is literally your sanctuary.

Hi Burt, OMG You have been through a lot!! And that is the under-statement of the year. I wouldn't leave the house either. I am so happy that Connie was able to come home!! A lot of my depression comes from using drugs for many years. I used methamphetamine marijuana heroin alcohol cigarettes and even acid. Using acid one night I saw demons melt off the wall and needless to say I never did that again. Eight years ago I took a big leap of faith and came out here to Belleville from Sacramento, CA to quit using. Leaving everyone I knew and moving far away was a terrifying experience for me. And it has taken me all of these eight years to get over it. I understand paranoia and being so ugly depressed I didn't want to be alive. My brain chemistry wont allow me take anti-depressants or anything else, so I have turned to natural remedies. I grew up in an adopted family because my mother was mentally ill, although I have never been able to find out how bad or exactly what the illness was. I was more like ADHD. And I think that was part of what attracted me to getting high. Relief for something I never understood or got any help for. I grew up depressed. I only recently found out my mother had issues because I have been able to find some birth family members. They have been more family to me than my adopted family ever was. Its been really cool to learn about my family and I have enjoyed knowing them. So much so that I dis-owned my adopted family. We all never got along anyway. I know that for me its been difficult to stay balanced mentally. And it seems that the older I get the harder it is to stay balanced. But all we can do is our best and there are always going to be those who do not understand. My husband doesn't always understand how hard it is for me at times. We are special to each other and we really are the only ones who can give true support to each other. Animals are excellent therapy. My dog Missy Lou gives me unconditional love and she always seems to understand what I need.

Hi Michelle, I used to make jewelry as well. I would mount cool looking stones in nice settings and play with beads as well. I haven't done that for so long. I love to collect rocks and polish them in my rock tumbler. I could probably mount them in nice settings hang them on a chain and sell them. I taught myself how to sew too. But its all about what you feel comfortable with. We also have a 35ft travel trailer that we enjoy camping and traveling with. We have been to Wyoming S Dakota New Mexico Arkansas Missouri Texas Kentucky North Carolina Tennessee Idaho Colorado Utah Nebraska Iowa Louisiana so far. Since I cannot take anti-depressants I enjoy playing with herbs and natural remedies. I do OK with them most of the time but those of you who are on prescription meds should not play with herbs.

Yeah... they call that self-medicating... my brothers and I did that a lot.

I always knew something was wrong but couldn't put my finger on it.


Making a move like that should help.

It's scary though !!

Moving back and forth from MI to FL really freaked me out.

A lot of people around us think we're just lazy and don't want to get out of bed.

They have no idea of how painful depression can be.