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Would you agree many choose to procreate to be taken care of in their elderly years?

A Secure Financial Future

I agree completely, Patricia. Often the same people who called me selfish for not wanting kids would then ask who's going to take care of you when you're old? My suggestion that maybe it was selfish to see one's children as walking talking insurance policies never went down very well!

Seriously, many parents of baby boomer children were of a generation that thought it quite normal to make these demands, whether or not they even had a good relationship with their children. Growing up in the UK, I knew of people who emigrated to Australia so they could get away from parents they felt were taking over their lives.

Very interesting article - thank you.

Well, I for one got sucked into the: "Take care of me when I'm Old" paradigm, and pretty much wasted my life.

I was the youngest, and no nursing homes.

Now they are gone and my youth is gone too...

I threw away my opportunity to have a young mate during my young life and did not have a stable relationship until 39yrs.

So much guilt and obligation overtook me.

But, I'm ok with it now as I just like quiet.

I didn't want kids, so I wouldn't burden them and they burden me.

I'm more selfless and responsible by NOT Having Kids.

I want spiritual stuff, and if you raise a family you are forced into the material.

-- Burt B.

Hi Grace:

Financial security is a subject all women (and men) need to be aware of, I’m particularly passionate about this subject. It may seem selfish to focus on earning a living, but all women need to build a nest egg to ensure they are taken care of. I say, save whether you have children or not, because ultimately you don’t know what your future will entail. It is everybody’s responsibility to ensure their future is financially sound so you have something to fall back on if nobody is there for you in your later years.

Thanks for your feedback.

Patricia

Hi Burt:

I've heard many stories from individuals who were caretakers during their younger years, whether it was caring for siblings or aging parents. Interestingly enough, it does seem to have an effect in their future decision about raising children. There is this “been there, done that attitude”, and now it is time for them. So your story makes perfect sense.

Glad to hear you are enjoying life now.

Patricia

Thank You Patricia

I have a computer tablet reading out loud to me, "Practical Mysticism" in perfect quiet with the cats sleeping.

I could not have that with children.

As a youngster all I wanted was God, God, God !!

Oh, My Goodness what terrible prices I had to pay to expand my own heart !

Now I live in a private nature sanctuary where my thoughts and ideas and love of my heart can expand, expand, and expand to embrace all hurt and pain, yet soothe it with an everlasting love.

Yea, the destitution, violence, and pennilessness would have not done children well.

I'm sick, yet full.

Empty but fulfilled... if that makes any sense.

Patricia.....I am not sorry I did not have children, and I don't think having them is a guarantee to being financially taken care of when you are older.

At 46 I am in financial ruin. I supported my husband in his quest to continue his education to provide a comfortable life for the both of us, and I neglected myself. After a 19 yr relationship with 16 of those years being married, he divorced me to be with another woman who has children. He lied to me and to himself that he could live without having kids.

I have no permanent job and I struggle every day. I need to file for bankruptcy because of my debt but I can't afford a lawyer. I get calls from debt collectors every day. I stopped paying on what I could no longer afford to pay without the support of a spouse an entire year ago, debt that he helped to create but unfortunately is in my name. I have no savings at all and I live week to week. A great fear of mine is that when I am old and cannot work I will live in poverty with barely anything to survive on. With the state of the economy I can't find decent work with decent pay right now. The last job I had paid minimum wage. I have not made so little money in 20 years. It is hard to believe that if I do find work I am probably going to make the same money as a kid out of high school.

I made bad choices in the past. Now I am paying for it. Unless I find another love in my life to share living expenses with, I am going to struggle for quite some time to come. It is hard to deal with this reality but I can only take life one day at a time and hope for the best.