Hi Guys,
I am new to this site but wanted to request some information if anyone has any that may help someone I love dearly. It is a bit of a long story but I will give you the important bits that may help create a clear picture where someone may have an answer or any advice.
I met a girl about 4 years ago and spent all but five minutes with her, I instantly found her incredibly beautiful and I wanted to get to know her better. Within the five minutes I managed to get her name and so I added her on Facebook and we started chatting. She was at the time living in London as was I but she was in a bad relationship with a guy who beat her, controlled her, manipulated her, raped her, wouldn't allow her to have her own freedoms like he would lock away her laptop and lock her in the house when he went out. He wouldn't allow her to have her own money or to see her parents. He even forced her to have an abortion. So as you can imagine this is a terrible relationship to be in and she was for 8 years. He eventually left her for someone else and she moved back to her parents. It was good he left her as she would never have dared to leave him. As she moved away to her parents we still chatted often but where now in different cities as she had moved to Devon and I was still in London. She found a some calm back in Devon and we simply maintained a friendship and started seeing other people. She started to date a guy who was friends with her father, a little older but seemed safer. He however, during their relationship cheated on her and left her faith in men even more shattered. After him she tried again for a very short time with a man who was impatient with her in the bedroom and she ran away from his house in the middle of the night as he wouldn't take no for an answer. That is her relationship history. Since I have known her and has her in my life in one way or another I have been in one proper relationship of about six months but was always thinking of her. When my relationship ended in March 2011 and hers did at the same time from the man she ran from, we simply spent all off our time chatting, we had always had a lot of time for each other but this grew through our non stop chatting, Skyping etc to become love and we both feel this way. Ever since I have known her, I constantly think of her and want to treat her like a princess and be the best a man can be for her and she knows this and wants this also. We have planned to get together about 7 times over the last few years to start things properly but every time we do it looks all good until the day arrives and she has a panic attack. Her mother found her once when she was about to drive to mine sitting in the driving seat crying as she literally could not do it. This has happened many times yet I cannot give up on her as I simply love her more than anything I could imagine and the feeling is mutual. I want to be her everything and help her through it all and show her a nicer happy life but these panic attacks prevent it everytime. She has tried therapy a couple of times but she says all the therapists do is listen to what she says but never give her any advice or any treatment and so she gets no further. We spend a lot of out time now chatting on Skype again and watching films on Skype and we talk so often about our future but every time we get close to what we both want the panic hits in and she goes silent and vanishes off the radar for a few days. I only have contact with one of her friends through facebook but they are not close and also her mother through email but she is no help at all. She tries to give me her address bit by bit so that I can just come and surprise her so she doesn't have time for a panic attack but she has never managed to give me the whole address. The poor girl is just so dented and damaged by these terrible scummy men of her past that blind panic always prevents hers and my happiness right at the last minute.
My question I really want to ask is has anyone ever been in a similar situation or know of the type of thing I am talking about and is there anyone out there who can help us both as I feel our lives are sitting on hold at the moment due to the actions of bad men in the past and it is tough on us both from a mental point of view.
I hope someone out there has some information or experience where they can offer some guidance.
Many Thanks
Loving Heart
