BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Childfree versus Childless

When you are asked the question, “Do you have kids?” what is your response?

Childfree versus Childless

Patricia Pedraza-Nafziger
Married No Kids Editor

I reply, "No, I don't want to be around kids 24 hours a day." Since I am in education, people seem to understand that although they do seem to still have that look about them suggesting that I'm a little "off". I have learned to smile and move on to another topic. I'm the one who would have to bear and raise the child, not them so who are they to give me that look. I refuse to bend to ociety's expectations. I really don't think there is anything wrong with me. I need quiet time to rejuvenate and I don't see that happening if I am around kids all of the time. On top of that, I enjoy doing things like spending time with my husband, reading, going to the gym, etc., all of which would be cut into if I had a family. My maternal needs are met with my pets. I'm happy.

Yes, thinking that there is something wrong with you because you chose a different path than the norm is pretty common. But ultimately it's your happiness that makes you realize the decision you made was the right one for you. Like you, my maternal needs are met by my Furkids :-) they are more than enough for me.

When I am asked, I say that I have chosen not to have children. I used to get funny looks from some people. With being older now people's attitudes don't bother me anymore. There is no way I would start the process of child rearing at 46 years old, nor do I have the desire.

I have always had pets of all kinds, but I am even getting tired of that responsibility. I only have dogs and horses now, but I know that when my dogs are gone from this earth I won't get another one. I want to be more independent to where I can come and go, and not worry about pets needing me at home.

I have two dogs and they are wonderful to have around. But like you, I will probably take a break after they are gone so we can have the freedom to travel more extensively for longer periods of time.

Thanks for sharing Debbie.

I keep going back and forth with this topic ... internal battle really. I'm 31 years old and, almost six or seven years ago, I didn't want children. So, at that point, I was child-freee and loving it. I was enjoying my husband. Now fast forward to the present ... countless hours of baby-sitting, even having a friend with kids staying with you and your husband, constantly having to set more rules than normal in my household (do this, don't do that, don't touch this or that). Not used to that and I don't want to become used to it. I feel like this current experience has been my birth control. That and the fact that hubby and I have been trying (off and on) with no success (I know ... another topic). Anyway ... Because of my recent experiences my answer to, "Do you have/want kids?" No, I don't have them. I may want them, but not like yours.

I wish all young girls were required to babysit fulltime for an entire summer. It would be a great way for schools to provide extra credit, kind of like summer school. I can’t think of a better job for young girls to learn about responsibility.

Thanks for sharing.

i prefer childfree.free to have great vacations. free to go where kids dont want to go. free to spend our money the way we want. free to do things parents cant do.

childless can mean that you dont have something you wish you had..childfree can mean you are free from the the hassle of having kids.

And on top of that, how amazing would it be if young girls were not raised with the pressure of having to live within certain expectations? This, of course, includes having kids. Having kids should be a choice that each person makes.