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While it is not a subject we want to talk about, death is inevitable and we can never be too prepared.

For many people it is matter of ‘if we don’t talk about it, it won’t happen’ when in reality it is much kinder to your family to talk about everything and have things organised.

Speaking from exeperience, I found it very difficult to think clearly enough to sort through everything to find some of the papers needed. Some things were never found but fortunately I had thought a little ahead and had policy numbers written elsewhere.

I know sometimes its easier to put it off and not think about it, but for our loved one's sake, a little time spent now can save them many hours when they are already upset.

I would love to hear your thoughts ....


Shirley McGillivray
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I slogged for months thru my ex's paperwork, and got all his affairs in order, (which was a good way to keep extremely busy to avoid falling to pieces). The only thing that never worked out was with his VISA insurance thru his bank: His/our bank's VISA insurance refused to stop withdrawing his credit card insurance payments; because he had not left a will!!! When he died last June there was 13,000 in his savings account. He owed about 14,000 on his VISA, DESPITE his insurance. Despite all the documentation that the poor man was dead, the bank insisted that SOMEONE continue to pay his insurance premiums, OR they wanted ME to pay off his VISA balance, pronto. (my name wasn't even on the card). The bank has drained his savings account now, and unless I was appointed officially as his Executor post-mortem, or went to a lawyer; there was nothing I could do. His children were robbed of their inheritance. The moral of this story is to ALWAYS, ALWAYS leave a will where your loved ones and Executor can FIND it!!!!!

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Hello 'bringmeredwine' - losing a loved one is hard enough without all the extra problems. I had quite a few issues when my husband died - one very similar to yours, only it was a different credit card. I am so sorry to hear of your experience but if we can spread the word and make people aware. hopefully it might save some others a lot of distress.

The main experience that led me to write this article was lost papers for insurance. Fortunately we had talked about it and I had put the policy numbers in a word doc and so had it saved because the insurance papers have never been seen again and I assume they were accidently thrown out after being out down on a pile of papers (something he often did smile )

I hope everything is working out for you, it is a hard stressful time and my thoughts are with you.


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My guy was very disorganized too and tended to happily throw important things away! I spent a couple of days going thru mountains of papers strewn all over his apartment. I knew he had a will, written in 1985.It was nowhere to be found! With my current (and forever)common-law partner, I added his name to my house, he's the beneficiary of my estate (my best friend is the Executor), I also have a Power of Attorney for my health care, naming Him and my best friend, AND he will have financial control if I become incapacitated. I am the beneficiary of his life insurance. Our bank accounts are under both names, but the credit cards are solely in my name and are insured to protect him if I die. This time I am totally prepared when one of us gets sick or dies! (I hope) If we were to part ways, all the assetts are still in my name only, except for the house, which is paid for. I have the financial resources to live on my own because my ex husband left me very well provided for. I consider myself so fortunate to be in this position, but I'd much rather he was still alive.

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This is the biggest thing I have learnt. I also have everything in place for when I die so that my boys never have to wonder about anything. My son has Power of Attorney if needed and my older 2 boys are joint guardians for my younger son. It isuch a traumatic time, I want to make it as easy as possible for them.

Last edited by Shirley - Bereavement; 06/23/13 08:24 AM.

Shirley McGillivray
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