BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Mental Health Memory Issues

My MIL is 65. I've known her for 20 years. During that entire time, she has shown a huge problem with her memory. It can be simple stuff such as swearing it is the first time she is talking to you today despite a long conversation just hours before to arguing how to spell her son's name. She even swore that my daughter missed curfew one night while we were out despite the fact my daughter came home and had a long conversation with her. There were other people in the room to back up my daughter's statements. MIL still denies it. Her mother was the same way. MIL will get into very heated arguments with us over the 'facts' and tells everyone what liars we are. Most believe her which strains relationships with friends and family. The rest of the people aren't around her as much as we are.

As I said, this has been going on for over 20 years. Could this be a mental health issue?

Rebecca,
There is research/studies that show people in their 40s and 50s can experience problems with their memory. What you describe sounds more like a medical issue than a mental health issue. Has your MIL had any extensive medical evaluations to determine the cause of these lapses in memory? I'm betting you are going to tell me she refuses as she doesn't see a problem.
Do you know if she has a history of physical or emotional abuse/trauma?
You mentioned her mother had the same experience. That also makes me think it is a memory/dementia related issue.
Very interesting but, of course, very stressful and sad. I'm so sorry.

I too am having memory issues and have had it getting really bad in the past 10 years. i.e. I will often to go put something no matter what it is in a certain place, whether ti be within a few minutes, hours or the next day and not remember where I put it. I also am unable to read a book, as cannot remember even a few sentences, to a paragraph or the previous page of what I just read, so do not bother to read - I find this sad, as I have been in a book store and seen a book that might look interesting - I cannot even use eBooks or audio books as the memory is the same there. Then there is being in discussion with people, I will not remember from one moment to what I was talking to them about, most importantly it is my short term memory that is really affected. Yes I have a mental illness, bipolar disorder and am on meds for it. You think this could be the problem with memory the meds - I know many persons on meds and do not have the memory problems. Look forward to hearing from anybody that might understand. Thanks, Charmaine

Hi Charmaine

I have bipolar and meds also.

My memory is pretty iffy -- I don't know if it is the long-term effect from meds.

I always misplace stuff.

I have to keep my keys and wallet in my hat on the table or you can forggettaaboutit !

Lighters, ( I Smoke cigs ), and pens are the worst.

A lot of times I will lose paperwork... Grrrr !!!

Trying to remember where I put checkbooks is a challenge and postage stamps !!!

Oh Boy !

Those last two really get to me.

I had to buy another stapler, 'cause ... guess what ?!

No clue.

It also comes with age, I'm 51.

Dunno... but the way it affects me is I usually put real short staccato replies here when I used to write long eloquent ones.

So, my friend, you're not alone

-- Burt B.

To Burt And Charmaine and all sufferers,

I suffer also profoundly of short term memory loss.Plus I have another neurologic desease ,that makes it that I have forgotten my past.Right now ,I am reading at the same time 4 Buddhist books.Imagine the yellow underlining in each book.

We must not dispair.I will dispair the day ,I will not remember my name.
Living the present moment ,the most intensively possible ,is our only way out.

The past is past,can't change it,the future is not here,that I can prepare,by putting in each present moment a good seed,that will bloom when I will need it.

So to all of us ,let us live in the NOW or PRESENT MOMENT,where there is no suffering

With loving Kindness
loong

Thank you both Burt and loong for both replying to my email. It is good to read that I am not alone when it comes to memory issues. I too have allot of difficulites with remembering a good majority of the past. Oh loong it too makes allot of sense about living in the present and leaving the past where it belongs and so I will try to not worry about the future, especially something I at the moment have no control over. I think it is going to be good being a member of this forum. So much positive vibes!