BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence Law Enforcement Ex Pulls Gun

My ex husband pulled a gun on me in September. I reported it this week. He is in Law Enforcement. The problem is that my family does not believe me. My own mother thinks I have lost my mind. She says I should have let it go so I can get Child Support. She says since he did not shoot me then he did not need to be punished. I am in counseling and tried to tell her I am the victim here. There are a few other incidents this year after our divorce (he pushed in my house in front of our son when I had a male friend here) as well as verbally abusing me in public. He graduated the Police Academy in Septemeber and the weekend after was this incident. I am scared that in the future if he sees another car at my house he would indeed use the gun. What can I do during the investigation? There were witnesses to this...how can I make my family support me? I need support..

It's difficult, which is hard to explain, when you wait or decide not to file charges for whatever reasons...you don't want to see the person in jail, you don't want them to lose a job, etc. You just want them to get control over their anger - help basically.

This is a good forum for support. DV isn't a pleasant thing to go through let alone acknowledge or sometimes even having open discussions about w/friends and family. However, you can come here to vent, reassess, etc. as well as get some ideas when you feel alone.

For right now, if there's an investigation, really there's nothing you can do to alter whatever they find. There would have been more of an affect way back when. I did the same thing. No record...I just wanted him to get help.

But, for yourself and even though there's an investigation what you CAN do is get to a DV counselor which usually lies somewhere w/in the HS department of your area or a DV hotline..

You may, depending on your area, need to go outside of that to avoid any possible biasedness.

Sometimes family just sux. Even friends - especially when there is a separation and/or divorce happening. You were right to report. He needs some help quick. If he doesn't remember WHEN the right time is to arm himself, he needs to go back into training. Gee, thanks mom - right? You might want to not have male friends - purely platonic or whatever at the house. For your safety. Their safety. YOUR CHILDRENS Safety and well-being. Don't add gas to the fire. Meet elsewhere, far away. Please don't give this hot head another reason to be a bad cop. You don't have to take his abuse. Call a hotline. A church. A sympathetic neighbor. My daughter records my soon to be ex - and his explosions. I feel your pain about the verbal abuse, too. You might need to get the court involved - with a restraining order. You don't let these episodes happen in order to get child support. Sheesh. He HAS to pay for it is the law. If he doesn't, he goes to jail. The support is for the child*ren. What is wrong with your mother?? Good luck. You will need it.