It is very rare someone does a 360 with their lives after being an abuser. My only experience is how I grew up. My parents fought constantly... emotional and physical abuse. They were both alcoholics and my mother was a drug addict too. My dad says he only hit my mom back after she had been hitting or smacking him to get her off of him. My mom had a bad bad temper. Once they separated and divorced, my dad met my step mom. He has never hit her, screamed at her, or anything abusive. Once he got away from my mom, he also stopped drinking. He has been sober since 1995, married my step mom in 1997. My mom on the other hand never stopped drinking, starting using drugs more and more when she got with her boyfriend. She would scream at him, break up with him when he wouldn't by her booze and drugs. She was an addict, there was no changing her. She committed a slow suicide with drugs and alcohol and passed away in 2008. So I saw both sides of this coin. My abuse has not been in another relationship since he and i broke up so I don't know if he has changed or not.