BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Choosing a Partner

Dependability is definitely important to me as well. I also value respect, honesty, communication, affection, sense of humor, and physical chemistry. It is great if we share some interests, but it is nice to have our own hobbies and friends as well. Time apart is just as important as time together.

Maybe I am a little sensitive to the dependability issue because I don't see myself as very dependable. I try hard, but with my mental health issues, it ends up being a huge challenge, and frankly, not a priority.

I'd like to think I am still worthwhile to be around.

Debbie -

Those are all good traits to look for! I imagine for example if someone was dependable but had zero affection at all, that it might be rough. It would be like having a butler, not a partner .

I agree completely that a couple needs to be standalone people too .

Jilly -

We all have different strengths, and that is quite fine! For example, several people have mentioned a sense of humor. I think I might be low on the sense of humor scale . And that is OK! I have other things I am good at. We all are unique people and we all have different challenges and that is wonderful.

And with that all being said, think of all the times you have been there for someone who really needed you. When it was important, you turned your life upside down to be there for a person. That is definitely dependability.

I like your sense of humor, Lisa! But I think I appreciate your goofiness because my humor is rather goofy too.

I have a lot of integrity, but that's not really dependability. I will absolutely be there for someone when the chips are down. But for the little, small, everyday reliability functions, that person isn't me.

I have to learn to say no more clearly, or be more specifically, verbally tentative about plans, because I never know that day if it will be a good day for me, or a stay in bed day. Some days I can't do people things; I'd rather hide. No matter what my good intentions were when I agreed to something. I've let a lot of people down. Never on the important things, but on many small occasions.

I am never reliable for social or employment functions. But I WILL do what's needed for another, when it really matters.

Hi Jilly,

I'm glad you mentioned the dependability thing -- as you can see a lot of womenfolk look for that -- man or woman the lack of dependability has to be dealt with -- you acknowledged it, so it is ok now for me to acknowledge it here too.

Thank You,

Burt B.
P.S. I haven't been around for a while -- reworking the computer system.

You are welcome, Burt. I figure if we can't talk here, where can we talk?

To Burt,

Ah Krishnamurti

loong

To Jilly,

If you were not so far away, I would have liked to visit for a while,doing nothing ,exchanging ideas.I don't think my car can take me where you are.
Too bad

loong

To Lisa and all,
Back on the subject.In choosing a partner, to me total honesty
would be the main part.I have been the base of my life for 36 years.Fidelity,she also living a spiritual path,not necessarely
buddhism ,but spiritually inspired.Honor and trust.
Now you see why I am alone.

With respect
loong