BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence And the cycle continues

Your right bnb, I feel somehow addicted to this cycle too. It's so sick and twisted and I just can't stop myself from going back or from loving his stupis a**. I am walking on eggshells everyday. I try so hard to please him and to be right for him, but nothing is ever good enough. I do everything he asks and he finds more faults in me. Today it was because I hadn't mopped the floor and he had to do 'woman's work.' I go to work, pay all the bills, do all the house cleaning, keep myself up the way he wants me too, and he still finds a way to attack me. I'm a slut, I'm selfish, I don't know how to treat a man, I don't know how to suck his d*** good, have a loose p****. When I go to work everyday I am accused of cheating on him, lying to him about my whereabouts. He has forbade me to get a linked in profile and forced me to close my email account that I had for over 10 years. He finds a problem with every friend I have, and if I do hang out with a girl friend, he finds something to get mad at me for. I feel like he is never happy for me, never understanding of my feelings, and if I ask him to try to be understanding of me, he tells me I have to put my feelings aside so that I can take care if him. I am losing myself and anytime I do something that makes me feel like I'm getting a piece of myself back, he makez me feel horrible for it. I hate myself and my life. He tells me I am crazier than he is and that if I anger him, I deserve to be hurt by him.

Wishingstar, he sounds like a monster. Truly. I hope you can find a way out from his clutches.

Elleise, it is sounding to me that your point about being addicted to the pain and suffering makes a lot of sense. Most addictions are negative, and they aren't logical when we are trapped in their grasp.

I hope you have gotten the courage to get out and not look back. Go to family, friends, a church for help. Move out of the area, get counseling. Just get help! It took me 25 yrs to get out of an abusive marriage. I knew the things he said to me and did weren't right, but I wasn't strong enough to help myself. It wasn't until I started going back to church that God surrounded me with people who really cared for me and I was able to gain the strength to leave. Once I left, I knew I'd never go back.. Unfortunately, he has turned my children against me. Please get out while you still can and learn from your experience what you don't want in a man. God bless. Counseling has really helped me too.

Nobody deserves to be treated like this. The man is very sick and dangerous, and he is taking you down with him. Start fighting for yourself and get out of this situation. You need to love yourself and respect yourself, which you don't now. You deserve so much better and you can have it if you leave this all behind you. Get the help you need from friends and family, social services, the authorities, whomever you can. You are a very special and unique human being and you need to start treating yourself like one. Do this for yourself and don't look back. All the ladies here are right on the money. You are not alone and you can do this. You have to in order to save your own life.

It is so hard to leave when you love your abuser, because, as most of us who have been in this situation know, they are not like that all the time. I keep wanting to believe his promises that he will never do it again but he always does. And when he realizes he can't physically abuse me, he verbally abuses me for hours on end. I wish I would have seen and listened to the warning signs at the very beginning. For anyone who is going through what I am, make a safety box, hide it and never tell him about it. Be mentally prepared to leave everything u have in your home if u live together. And if u are reading this because you think you might be dealing with an abusive partner, listen to your intuition and do not fall into the trap.

True...there's a lot going on.

In part you'll feel lost, lonely, desperate and even to the point that in the loneliest hours of the night, may feel there's nothing else out there or better than what you're probably experiencing as a "Hi-low". You want it to be one way, but reality isn't quite going along with the "game-plan."

How much or do you value...(not probably the right words) ... but do YOU think/feel you're intelligence still remains as your best interest? Or, perchance do you feel more like you'd like to ignore what you may or may not have as an intuition?

YOUR SPIRIT has a STRENGHTH! It's up to the direction of what you command as to whether or not, to hand thatyour God-given Soul-Covenent, birthed to you, over to something or someone that simply gains and usues strenth from what it is you try and keep replenishing.

Sadly, no one can stop the taking of Soul energy but you ((hugz)).

What I can offer is...what you're feeing isn't what true love's all about.

It's there but until you'e willingly able to let go of the "cancer" it's oneof those things that's difficult to feel/find.

((Hugzz))

May I put my cents worth in here? There are higher forces at work here than just raw emotion and abuse. WishingStar, you are loved by everyone on here plus people that have not responded on this forum. I want you to know that you have an army of souls behind you. Some of us know how to do some things that can help you without being physically with you, do you understand that?? dave

WishingStar,

Please get out of there.

Connie got out of a 25-year bad marriage.

We have peace now !!

Love,

Burt & Connie