BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Hi newbie member with issues!

Hi im new to this site but im getting pretty desperate and think im going a bit bonkers. Im 44 and was married no children, i left my husband due to some 'issues' and found my new partner a year ago. My new partner has two children and now has a low sperm count for some reason together with my age its just not happnin for us getting pregnant and time is running out. My problem is that i am driving myself mad with the daughters mother i feel physically sick at the thought of her being pregnant and him being there all the nine months and being there at the birth. I feel like i am constantly wanting to ask questions about it all even though it hurts me to the bone :( Sorry if this is the incorrect forum but im pretty desperate.

If the daughters mother was pregnant when she was young, she probably didn't appreciate what she was going through. It sounds like you want to get pregnant?

I am desperate to get pregnant but deep down i know its not going to happen....been trying a year. Yes the mother was 19/20 with the first child. Its just these thoughts in my head wont go away and its like i punish my partner (and myself) for having kids!!! Its just the whole thing about her being pregnant and him seeing the birth etc, everyone around us has kids and does not seem or want to understand how im feeling! Thank you for replying

Dearest halls68,

Hi, I'm a 50 young-year old man with a live-in partner and we have grown kids and grad-kids from beloved Connie's previous 25-year loveless marriage.

I myself have no children.

ok, there are two sides to this story, and the first thing is that you did not state the age of your partner.

Do not freak out and make any rash decisions.

Chill, catch your breath, take a bath and clear your mind.

My experience is this:

#1 My mother was 39 years old when I was born -- that was necessary for mom & dad's financial stability.

However, I have been schizophrenic since the age of 16yrs.

No fault of their's, no fault of God's, it's just the way it is.

Entire family was destroyed 'cause of this illness even though we had a very stable upbringing and good, stable parents and income.

Now, on the flip side, depending upon your social network a child at this age can do wonders.

Our tax-lady who is a Registered Agent with the IRS was a career gal and married a Police Chief who has children from a previous marriage like you.

In her case, she was a kinda sickly skinny-mini type gal that had a lot of medical issues.

Well, it would be gauche to ask me what her age was at conception, but every doctor on the planet said that that baby was gonna be chucked up and so was mom.

Guess what ?!

That baby is beautiful and perfect and it healed the mom !!!

Now, I used to belong to a church who's female leader conceived at 50...

Well, depending upon your clock -- with all due love and respect -- unless you can financially get 3000 miles away from previous mom -- and dear daughter makes a choice.

Um...

Would it be wise to tempt the fates ?

God Love you, but honestly, I'm a man, and men are generally stupid when it comes to 'female stuff'.

However, didn't that biological clock run out in your early 30's ?

Please Reply.

Love, Peace, and until we speak again... Aloha <even though I live in Florida>

-- Burt B.

Thank you Burt B I never really thought about kids to be honest within my marriage as on purpose i distanced myself away from them so it didnt hurt. I did have a miscarraige in my early 30's and thought to myself that i couldnt even do the thing a female is supposed to how useless was i ? My partner is 38 by the way just a whipper snapper compared to me lol. Myself i have problems i had severe agorophobia and depression the aggy is on the mend but with all this going on in my head the depression has returned even to the point of self harming - how stupid is that!! My partner is not that close to his daughters think they have been a bit shall we say mislead by the mother that my partner is well far from being capable shall we say even tho he is. He is the best thing that has happened in my life and i love him dearly maybe this is why i yearn so badly to be a mother, well if him upstairs says its meant to be it will be - if not then thats the hand thats dealt me even though it hurts so bad. 3000 miles away from her that sounds like a plan ha ha. from london england

Hi Love,

I've been over the pond twice when it used to be called BOAC !!

Anyway... I get into self harm.. I continue to self-mutilate..

Look at the picture.. I constantly pull my nose because as a teen I felt it was too big and my blessed dad said to shape it by pulling it...

Well, being creative and highly sensitive, I still do it to this day...

From 13 yrs. to 50 yrs.

Partner 54 yrs. by the way -- got together when I was 39 in late 1999 !!

Ouch... poor nose... I wish I could try to give it a break !

Yikes !!

As far as the mis-carriages... that is pretty much standard and common more than you know.. However, as a male I can objectively and not go through the actual emotional upheaval.

If we can, I would like to share, exchange and compare notes with your belief system on the

http:
//forums.bellaonline.com/ubbthreads.php/topics/286003/151

In the mean time, chin up Love !

You can PM me anytime to see if and how you want to hang out in the Goddess forum... them's my peps <people>

And, yes I will have milk in my tea.

Oh, and Abraham and Sarah were 100yrs old when they conceived...

You follow the man upstairs and it will be alright...

Yet, when Abraham tried to be impatient then blessed Ishmael was born.

Issac and Ismael brothers like Cain and Abel...

Well...

I don't know your cultural background, I just want to help you and your partner through.

Relationships and children hurts so much, that I have avoided the the actual experience all together so I could be calm and have free time and pursue mental, intellectual, philosophical, and metaphysical meanderings of the mind...

Cheers,

Burt B.

P.S. Natural and normal for ex mom of partners daughter to destroy his self-esteem.. same with my tax-lady... I hope I can help

Thanks Burt Not really sure what my beliefs are to be honest I just bumble through life thinking 'what will be will be'. Dont go searching for things as they will come to you! As for the nose pack it in we got what we are born with and we have to get on with it (unfortunately), wish i could practise what i preach. I hate being overweight i lost 8 stone last year put on 2 this year but back on the blessed diet - i lost so much so quick i look like one of those wrinkly dogs with the folds of skin :).....Yes the mother of the children likes to belittle him and make him to be the worst person on the planet well all i can say is her loss my gain, we dont have much to do with her as the kids are older and can make up their own minds! Ones career minded the other on a crash course to being an early mother i think! Well i finally have met my soul mate better late than never eh Burt. Sensative thats me aswell far tooooo much so! You take care and thank you

Your Welcome halls68,

Lot's 'O real neat and cool people on here...

Have Fun !!

-- Burt B.