BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage How to get husband to see a doctor

My husband has been talking about his health getting worse a lot recently, but I've noticed this for a long time. I've been trying to convince him to go see a doctor or do a body check, but he absolutely refused, saying it's ok just to take some over-the-counter meds, or blaming work is too busy for him to have proper rest. Now it gets even more ridiculous that he's blaming the feng shui at home. Everytime I approached this subject, he just tries to change it. I've tried reasoning with him, coaxing him, and even threatening him, but all ends up nowhere. His father died of a heart attack in his early 60's, and with my husband's figure nearing his father's, I know he is in the high risk group, but he just won't listen. Any suggestions? Thanks!

I have noticed with some of my gender that they could have bits dropping off them, worms coming up out of the skin, plus passing out every few minutes, and they'd still insist. "It's just a sprain"

Seriously though is there a Well Man clinic within travelling distance? A general checkup from one of those places may be less intimidating than the doctors practice. Also remind him that he is within his rights to refuse needles and the dreaded 'Prostate exam"(!)
Hope that helps

Hi Angie and Ian! Boy, can I relate to your situation, Angie. I've found that men have their fears about their health, mortality and even pain. They deny or delay seeking medical attention to avoid hearing potential bad news.

Women tend to be more proactive about health matters while men, generally speaking, tend to be reactive. As Ian so graphically stated about worms and dropping bits, many men would rather wait until it becomes a life-or-death matter before getting help!

My husband is precisely like this, too.

It's hard to reason with a man when he himself doesn't recognize that he is being fearful. He rationalizes his reasons for postponing treatment and it makes sense to him.

Using a tip from motivational guru Anthony Robbins, I try to paint a picture of pain versus pleasure. He is avoiding the pain of discovering a potential problem:

"Wouldn't you like your mind to be at peace to find out that there really is nothing serious going on?"
"Wouldn't you like to catch something early? With a simple remedy?"
"How will you feel to find out that something dire could have been prevented if only you sought help just a few months earlier? You don't want to have regrets."
"You can avoid your father's fate with some early medical advice."

If it is a matter of needles and pain, here's a trick to use: An hour before he goes into the lab, rub a bit of numbing cream (teething baby cream, etc.) on the crook of his arm. Don't worry, the nurse will rub off the residue with rubbing alcohol before the needle stick. He won't feel the prick.

Men really can be babies about such things. Outside the lab, I saw a very beefy young man sweating about his blood test. The funny thing was that he was covered with tattoos!

Perhaps he watched too many vampire shows and films?

After you tie him up, stuff him into a wheelbarrow, and are heading out the door to the doctor's office, tell him about all of the advances in heart health that they've made since his dad passed.

Truly, they can do some amazing things.

Excellent tip- does it work for the previously mentioned exam?

My hubby is a big baby when it comes to pain.

My daughter used to freak out but she has had to have so many pokes and prods with needles that she is unfazed by a test. However, yes this numbing cream works wonders for her infusion treatments that begins with a stab to her chest for the needle to be inserted into her portacath. She doesn't feel the needle at all.

Well, I'm happy to report that after much more nagging/reasoning/coaxing and full-fold dramas with the in-law family, my husband has finally made an appointment with the doctor. As Ian and Lori have said, it came down to a life-and-death situation, then he realised the need for a much-needed doctor's visit. Now hope the doctor can drill some sense into him.

The Mens Health Forum might also be useful. It's aimed at the UK, but there may be things and ideas that are transferrable.