BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Spirituality When Mistakes Hurt Others - Article

Great article Debbie! It took me back to a time when something silly was said and it ended up straining a relationship. I can't get those years back and now I realize how stupid we can be.

Life is so short to not forgive and forget. As it is said, We have to forgive others so we can be forgiven.

Mistakes are just that...let them go and move on. Don't waste precious moments you have...even if you have to be the one to make the first move, do it!

Just my rambling thoughts!

Hi Debbie,

I think this is an awesome article. I think that the reason that so many African Americans are not progressing collectively as a people is because the United States never officially apologized for 300 years of slavery.

I think that generational internalized anger turns into self-destructive behavior that explains poor educational achievement and the high rate of imprisonment for many blacks today.

When someone apologizes to us it validates our pain and gives us an opportunity to truly heal our soul.

Thank you for your rambling thoughts, Bettina, You are so right.....life is too short to waste it on negative things. It may not always work out the way we'd like it to, but reaching out in a sincere way can be the start to repairing a strained relationship. Sometimes both people want to stand their ground or are afraid to make the first move. All that results in is a lot of hard feelings and discontent.

Cassandra.....thanks for reading my article. You brought up some good points. An official apology would help people heal and move on with a lighter heart and positivity.

The House and Senate drafted up apologies a few years ago but I think they are still going around and around with it.

Mistakes are vital learning opportunities. It isn't easy to see them that way when there is pain involved.

It took me a long time to get over my past mistakes, especially if I recognized that I hurt someone else, and I would torment myself with guilt and repentance, hoping beyond hope, that I would be forgiven. Most of these "infractions" according to others seem so minor or even nothing but to me, they were horrible mistakes because, from my spiritual or cosmic perspective, I should have known better. I guess I expected myself to be perfect since I "knew better."

But a precious and critical revelation came to me: In order for any of us to experience the sweet and amazing power of forgiveness, there has to be an offense. And from a cosmic perspective, it is far easier to do the forgiving than to be the one to need forgiveness. No one likes to sign up for the role of the offender but someone must in order for us to experience remorse, humility and forgiveness.

It takes great humility and it is hard to deal with mistakes--our own and those of others.

And guess what? I learned that the one I need to forgive the most is myself.

Thank you, Lori, for your point of view in regards to forgiveness. It is so true that we often have a hard time forgiving ourselves, and it is so important that we do so. It can be difficult but once we do forgive ourselves we can learn from our mistakes and move on.