BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Forum newbie, story sharing

Hi Angie,

My situation is that the women I was dating either had children or wanted children.

Sooo...

I helped my dad with his small motel business and in 1999 met Connie who was getting out of a 25-year loveless marriage.

Now I have step-kids and step-grand-kids in another state.

I like the peace and quiet and 4-legged kids.

-- Burt B.

Angie.....you don't have to justify or explain your decision to anyone. You are entitled to live your life as you see fit.

It is great that you and your husband are on the same page and know what you want out of life. So many marriages break up because one or the other changes their mind about kids, or they never addressed the issue until it was too late.

I say, good for you. Don't let anyone get you down or get under your skin about having kids. Your happiness is paramount, and nobody has the right to tell you how to live your life. Stay strong and stay true to yourself.

Hi Burt & Debbie, thanks for your comments. I was hoping our story would help or inspire other couples who might be in a similar situation. I suppose what I really want to say is, marriage is a long path of self-discovery as a 2-person team, with lots of ups & downs and changes & compromises along the way. Some couples may know what they want very early on in their marriages, but not for us. I'm very lucky my husband and I are self-discovering together and thinking on the same page.

Amen.

That's great, Angie.

well put, Angie!
Life is not easy, and dreams and hopes change as we get older, as we navigate the years together ( we all live on this planet at the same time, I mean ) And isn't it amazing that we are all from different backgrounds and parts of the globe on this forum, and yet we can communicate and have something in common with each other. Fascinating....
How sad therefore, that society still puts women into two categories - those with - 'Mothers' - and those without - 'Childless'.
The possibilities for life are staggering these days, and has changed so much it is unrecognisable even to our parents era. I'm convinced it's going to change, but sad for us that we have to put up with society's stereotype that makes women with kids 'brace ' themselves when meeting a childfree person, as we do when we meet a mother for the first time, wondering if all those negative ideas are going to surface into something derogatory.
Nice story tho, Angie, and all the best.

Gaynor.......I agree that there are still two categories of women. Although there is more acceptance now of women wanting to be child free, there are also many instances where we are still looked down upon. Lucky for me, I don't give a rat's patooty what anyone else thinks about my life, but many women still feel pressured by cultural or family expectations.

Hi Angie, Thanks for sharing your story. My husband and I are relatively newly married (approaching the two-year mark) and I have become more adamant about remaining childfree as more of our friends are having children. I'm happy to hear that you too went through the, "maybe some day" phase.