BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage What Are Your Secrets/Tips for a Good Marriage?

Marriages require a lot of work and commitment through the years. What are your secrets or tips for a good marriage, and for the longevity of your marriage?

be true to yourself,don t let another interfere with who you are.be married to yourself and then you ll be ready for the outer marriage.
don t divorce yourself in the name of another.

Great reply, Gemineye.

I made the mistake of divorcing myself when I was married. It's a mistake I will never make again. You can only give in a marriage when you have first given to yourself. Loving yourself is number one, and that does not mean conceit.

My husband and I are good friends. The bonds of friendship are strong, and it helps our marriage. We also laugh together and value the same things.

RESPECT.......also talk to each other, lots. Discuss everything concerning each of you.

cp

Wonderful and sensible answers, ladies.

A strong bond of friendship, communication, respect, sense of humor, having the same values, and making yourself and your spouse important......Is there anything else that you find crucial in keeping your marriage strong?

How do you keep things fresh and keep the attraction going, especially if you have many years under your belt? Do you have a date night once in a while?

Please share.

My advice is 1) don't expect it to be easy 2) don't expect it to come naturally 3) when you are struggling get professional advice even if from a book 4) don't just assume all advice from professionals is valid -- consider whether what they are saying sounds like it will help your situation 5) keeping it fresh? try to find some common focuses whether it is a recreational activity you do together or a project around the house 6) I like a vacation alone now and then if possible.

Oh my, we've been married for almost 52 years and it hasn't been a real easy task but if the going got rough, we weren't quitters. Through all the years, we've been best friends and I think that might be the most important trait for the longivity of any marriage.

Respect and tolerance of each other and our little quirks is important. Also communication and having fun together is high on the list.

My husband and I have a running joke about our marriage...during our ceremony, the minister forgot to have me say my vows so I always say I didn't promise anything so be careful. Hum, maybe that's the key to marriage longivity, don't make promises.

Anyway, everyone has some terrific suggestions.

I love all these answers. I find it hard to believe that we have been together for 30 years now!

These past few years we have been adjusting to a difficult economy and empty nesting. I have thought a few times that it was too hard to continue to make this work, but I look at him and I just like him so much. He is a good person and friend and well worth the effort to keep a good marriage going. Plus he makes me laugh!