Well, we all saw it coming, but it doesn't make it any less hard.
Quick recap for the newbies: My sister got married less than 2 years ago to a man she had only been with for 6 months. She wanted a baby, he didn't (at least not right away). She went off BC and told him it was his job to use condoms if he wanted to. Surprise, surprise, she got pregnant 2 months after they got married. During this time it became apparent that he was wasn't going to be helpful at all with my sister during the pregnancy. Then, arrives my nephew, and he's also no help with the baby. He's old school "latin machismo" and thinks children are a woman's responsibility, and my sister is a modern, educated woman. WE ALL SAW HOW THIS WAS GOING TO BE A PROBLEM, WHY DIDN'T SHE?!
::sigh:: Well, it's done. It's officially over. He's moved out, and she has filed for divorce. Didn't even make it 2 years.
When my sister came to visit last week she said to me, "I bet you have an 'I told you so' for me." And, I told her honestly, "If I do, it's not from a place of happiness at your misfortune. It's from a place of real sadness for both you and G.." My sister and I have had our differences over the years, but I still love her. I wanted her to be happy. But now, more than anything, all I want is G. to be happy. He's an innocent bystander in this mess, and I don't want him to have it as hard as we did.
Still, he'll have his very own issues to have to contend with over the years, as all us kids of divorce do. For starters, his dad is moving VERY far away. He got a job on the other side of the country, and will be gone by August. As far as he is concerned, that will be the last he sees of G.. He doesn't want anything to do with him after that. I'm hoping he'll change his mind, but I don't see it happening. He's mad at my sister for ending the marriage. I don't think he is upset because he really loves her, I think it just hurts his pride. To think, he'll grow up knowing his dad doesn't want him. Jesus. It's all I can do not to punch that guy in the face. I told my sister if he is serious, she should just get him to sign away his rights to the kid. There's no need to keep a legal connection if he doesn't want anything to do with Gabe. But, she said she needs the child support. I help out a lot with the baby (always buying diapers, formula, clothes, etc.), and I always pay for my sister now when we go out. My husband (I LOVE my husband) doesn't even bat an eyelash at it. He knows she needs help, and family is family. Still, I can't ask him to part with $700 a month just to permanently remove my sister's ex from our lives. I think I'm mostly afraid of what would happen if (God forbid) my sister dies. Her husband is going to get the baby, and he's just going to send him off to Mexico to be raised by his grandmother. And, there isn't anything we could do about it. I know I said that I didn't want to be Gabe's guardian, but if the alternative is for him to be sent off to a foreign country where he doesn't speak the language to live with people he doesn't know? I can't imagine it. Like it or not, my husband and I are the only other family Gabe really knows (since we only live a couple hours apart and my sister and I visit often). If anything ever happened, we would be the best place for him.
Ugh, I'm sorry this is so long. But, it's such a mess. I've been holding onto it all for a long while, hoping some miracle would happen and they'd be able to work it out. Then, I would save you all the trouble of listening to me whine about it.
Arg.
Oh, did I mention my sister is already dating someone? Yeah. I told my sister she should think about moving here, since we can be more useful near her. The first thing she said was, "But it would be too hard to date Jim from here." When she said that, my husband literally face-palmed. I swear I could here him screaming in his head, "What is wrong with you?!!"
