BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Autism Spectrum Disorders Please help! Need safety behavior tips

I am desperate - my little Autism spectrum boy in the past 2 weeks has a) nearly been run over and b) nearly got frostbite (now we have the house doors set up with a door-chain that is too high for him to reach so he can't open the door anymore to go out in the snow). Luckily he is OK but these are warnings I can't ignore. It is the running into traffic issue I need help with here. Am looking on internet for ideas to keep my boy safe. I read Bonnie's article about keeping autism spectrum kids safe and it really resonated with me. The issue is that my 3 and a half yr old boy wants to be more independent now. (In one sense, this is good - previously he wouldn't want to initiate anything). But the biggest problem is in the parking lot of any store. Going into the store we are OK. But coming back, he wants to run directly to the car (yes in the path of traffic). I have tried lots of stuff. Techniques we use to modify other behavior just doesn't work well for this issue. Also I hold his jacket hood (he won't hold hands). But if I have a big cart filled with groceries it is harder. He has a little brother nearly 2 yrs old, normal, also with me. My hands are full! About my autistic boy, he was diagnosed at 2 and a half. He is high functioning for an autistic (is not immersed in his own world, and no hand-flapping etc) but low functioning for a normal child (now at 3 and a half speaks only 1 word sentences, difficult to understand, occasionally loses existing skills, not communicative at all). He struggles with learning any new skill, and often has trouble translating existing skills to new environments. he will also tend to just wander off vaguely on his own in the store. he used to follow me perfectly. How can I keep him safe in the parking lot in a way that he will understand and hopefully learn from? As a last resort I could put him back in the 2-seater kiddie cart with his brother but I don't know if he'll really 'learn' from that. For some reason, he thinks he has an inalienable right to run toward the car, no matter what the situation. Please help!

Thanks for reading my article and glad it helped somewhat. What State are you in? Is he in any kind of early intervention or preschool program? Do you have respite? What about a disabled placard?

How old is his brother? Can you get a helped to watch him, do shopping when he is at school or find someone to go with you on trips?

Can you order groceries online or have Dad pick up on way home from work? Do you do a lot of errands in one day or break them up, is this done early in the morning?

I used a harnass for a child in the parking lot, both going in and coming out - that kept them safe with traffic zooming by. The harnass fit over the shoulders with the line in the mid-back. It also let them have a little reign in the store without running away or getting lost.

Thanks so much Bonnie and Susan! I read your posts earlier but only just now got time to reply, sorry for the delay. Lots of great advice there and your posts made me realize I had more options than I thought. I like the idea of the harness best, but I have also now changed my schedule to do most of my grocery shopping while the oldest is at school - a fantastic idea thanks. I guess I was too caught up in trying to stick to the old schedule to think of that on my own, strangely enough! In answer to your questions Bonnie, my oldest (the autistic one) received early intervention at age 12 months. He was diagnosed with autism at age 2 and a half. He goes to a half-day public preschool as a special needs child, which I believe is a good thing for him. He gets therapy there as part of his school day. My husband works long hours and we don't have family in town so I don't get respite but I don't really feel I need it anyway. It is just the groceries that are by far the hardest and your suggestions are already helping. He is high-functioning for an autistic, although he is the lowest-functioning of all the kids in his classroom. Thanks again both of you for making me realize there are lots of options out there that I hadn't even thought of! If you or anyone else has anything to add I would love to hear it! Thanks again for your help - the new shopping schedule is working well and I am about to start looking around for a harness.

I try to go out as much as possible for errands without the kids or only one of them if I can help it. Luckily I have a helpful 14 year old who is around.

I forget how long my brother did that, but I know the fear. I constantly hold hands with my youngest who is 5. My 7-year old listens when I repeat a command to wait for me, but I recognize that she is not paying attention to traffic or if it is safe to cross.

I had a scare recently when I would be in the pick-up line for kindergarten. I saw her recognize the vehicle and my heart sank when it looked as if she was going to take off for the van without waiting in line with the other kids. They were good about rounding them up, but I park now and walk to the door to get her.

My biggest fear is if they are with someone else. I don't think others understand they do this and may take for granted how they should act at their age. Even if my husband has the kids I worry.

One thing I remember about my brother growing up, although he is high functioning, it was mostly academic. He seemed years behind in many ways.

By the way, in case anyone in a similar situation is reading this, I found a 'quick fix' for just the parking lot issue at the supermarket for us - instead of pushing the cart with the handle, I pull, or 'tow' the cart from the other end with one hand. (It has a surprising amount of control and steering power that way compared to pushing it the ordinary way). This leaves the other hand free to fully hold onto my autistic boy's hand!