BellaOnline Forums Family Step Parenting my step daughter

I need peace, I found the love of my life 2 1/2 years ago, moved in a year ago, we married in the fall. The daughter age 22 has moved back in a month before we married. Both her and her mother have psych issues, daughter not on medication and dad has tried to get her to but she refuses. My husband is passive and loving, but does not see his daughters conniving ways. He made rules for the house because my son age 27 laid off from work is living with us also and there has been a lot of "issues". I come down on my son hard if he does not adhere to the rules, but my husband just tells his daughter do this don't do that and she continues to break rules. She wore a very inappropriate dress to the wedding and every time she bent over her bare butt with a g-string would show and an hour before the wedding I was told she came out of her room to say, "do you like my dress and proceeded to pick up her skirt and show her beautiful g-string to my older male cousin and one of my sons. She leaves nasty bloody mess in the guest bath room (my son has told her its disgusting for him because he shares the bath room), she is still doing it even though my husband has reminded her many times, we cant get in the room she is using stuff on floor 8 inches deep (but we have things in there in the closet that we need from time to time). There is dried blood stains on her mattress (no sheets looks like a crime scene), she leaves her junk all over the house, eats our food and wastes it at times. She comes running out of her room any time a movie or show has music she likes gyrates her body in the living room in front of all. Another one of my son's she flirts with who is married well, his wife is sick of it and it has interfered with family get together's because some don't want to come if the step daughter will be there. She came with two cats and I have a dog (need I say more its chaos) she does not feed them and one ran away (yippee). Anyway, I have tried to have heart to heart woman to woman talk with her about the blood issue she got offended and was covertly angry with me for a long time, but it still happens. Since my husband posted the "rules" it has actually gotten worse as if she is flaunting it in my face that she does not have to obey them. I have had many talks with him about things. But she is daddy's little princess. Working earning her own money and living with us. It's making me want to knock her block off. I'm at my wits end and I need peace.

no replies... boo hoo

hahaha the g string thing is funny.
she obviously does it on purpose.the daddy doesn t really wnat to bother with this the more attention she gets the more she ll go on she s playing around.you should see the funny side of it and accept it,it will transform her attitude for sure.she wants you to go mad.your son can sort it out with her for the bathroom give yourself some peace and kick her out the dad will surely react to that.what does he say for the food?
if she works she should get her own place.
surely i can t give you the answers only you can it s your life you re responsible for what happens,i m sure you know what to do but you re just too scared to take action,so it s a good thing to overcome your fear it ll make you stronger.if your husband doesn t botherhe sure will when he sees you make a decision,cause obviously somehow it means he doesn t care enough about you either because he can t be bothered whichis what i feel right now and not really because it s his little princess.he s getting his own peace by letting you deal with it just as your son does.if they all burden you with this situation and they don t want to take action then do it.but also think about the fact if she shows her g string to your son it s not really between you and her.when someone makes you mad you start to be obssessiveand inaction can do that to you youjust then end up complaining at best and seeing and picking on everything in a magnified way.so just for your own peace and at the risk of disturbing your husband s peace which is good for him justtake action.
that s life it will make you grow and also it will break some of yourillusions,so go on girl do what you feel is right.

I feel your pain but there really isn't much you can do about it until your husband puts his foot down. Like the PP said try to find the humor in it. Or completely ignore her. She knows she is getting to you. I cleaned my step kid's room once b/c he didn't clean it when he was told. It only took once--he didn't want me nosing around his stuff anymore so he kept it picked up after that. The menstrual stuff is just gross. I'd treat it like it was a teenager and shame her into cleaning it up.

Thanks for the replies, I went and got a trashcan with a lid so I did not have to listen to my son legitimately complain or see it when I or guests go in. I would have to ware waders and rubber gloves to clean her room, but I like that idea she would hate me doing that. I will tell her she needs to have it cleaned by sunday and if she does not do it I will. Hope it works. Thanks for all the advise.

Charge her by the hour for cleaning services!

ooo Connie, that is such a great idea!! it would take me several hours but I bet I could get enough to go get my nails done ha ha ha

hahaha need peace you re funny

You and your son get an apartment and leave daddy and daughter dearest in their own squalor.

being funny is better than the alternative right? :wall: