BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Poorly Behaved Kids in Public

Angela,

Thank you for the input. I think I was thinking about it all wrong. I am the type of person where if the neighbor is having a loud party at 3am, I go over there and ask politely that they tune it down a bit, instead of just calling the cops. I guess I figured it was politer to address the issue with the person instead of mgmt, but from now on I think I will just talk to mgmt directly. (hopefully I wont have to any time soon.)

I could care less if a kid was there and behaving well. that would not bother me. kids to deserve life experiences. kids in public arent the problem, its parents who dont teach their kid how to behave or think it is funny that the kid is running around all the tables like a wild animal. I was never like that as a child, but I was also painfully shy. but I know if I had acted like that my parents would have grounded me for life when we got home.

Hi Marie:

It is so sad that things are so different now, at age 53 I have no tolerance for a lot of the stupid stuff. Then you have folks shooting and beating up folks that do ask for what they deserve, "respect"...

I cringe when I think of the countless nights of no sleep due to jerks as neighbors. A lot of times they did not work, slept all day when I was at work and up when I was home trying to sleep.

I guess that is why I am sticking it out with my boyfriend who has a duplex, don't want to return to another apartment - we use to be in a house, hope to soon again - as a duplex as far as I am concerned is just like an apartment. The only difference is that there is no one underneath or on top of you.

My goal in life is to find some place in the country, don't care how small...

Parenting might have been a little tougher some years ago, but the kids turned out to be more respectful and well behaved so much earlier in life. There is a lot to be said for consistent and appropriate discipline.

Now everyone is afraid to give the kid a whack when he or she needs it.....you don't want to give the kid lifelong scars.

OH PLEASE......

I don't believe in child abuse, but a child having a little fear of the authority of their parents is healthy, in my opinion. Otherwise kids will take advantage, as we can see for ourselves every single day.

And once kids have a bit of an understanding of the world around them, they turn into selfish and self-centered little brats who think that the world owes them a life. And where did that all come from??? Poor parenting!

Amen Cassie!!!!

this is a great thread, and I think the reason why there are no ground rules for restaurants in relation to kids, and other public places, is because the problem is new to our generation.

when I was little we didn't go eat in restaurants at night.
bedtime was strict, and it was the same with all my friends and my age group.
Society has become more hedonistic, and that includes the kids too - holidays abroad, kids themed pubs / eateries, etc. higher salaries, and a whole new mindset on what is possible in life.
just think , in the past the woman was at home with the kids, and the men were out socialising. hence kid free environment. ( don't get me started on womens emancipation ! )

fast forward to now, and parents want to do all the nice social things, and either can't afford or don't want childminders, or actually want their children to be with them in restaurants.

I agree with the comments relating to the parents - I'm sure it is hard work raising a child, and I'm sure the last thing you want to do after a hard day's work is start teaching your child how to behave, when all you want to do is relax and ignore the bad behaviour ( which lets face it, is often crying for attention and affection from a parent they maybe haven't seen all day.)

but that is the difficult choice - you have them, then you put the hard work in to make them decent respectful people.
Or you ignore them, get other childfree customers irritated, and get angry and defensive if God forbid, anyone dares question your actions, or rather lack of.

What I found is that a lot of parents can "tune out" their kids and do so wonderfully. But they need to realize that not everyone can and should not have to in a public place.

As far as being tired, that is life and no excuse not to bring up kids that are ones that folks want to be around.

I remember when I first had my only child, a girl at age 28 (now 53), I told certain friends that they were welcome to visit without child. I had waited until I was ready to have a child, for a very long time I wanted NONE. Not to be mean, but I gave them ONE time to visit and was struggling as a "single parent" - was not interested in having these kids tear up my stuff - live a cheap "black & white" TV. It was like parent would sit and watch child do this!!! Sorry, lost a lot of friends over this, but while my daughter was not "perfect" - she knew that when I visited someone's house, she better be on her best behavior and listen to me! Kids have to learn from an early age or by the time they are teenagers, we have lost them.

Thanks for sharing with us - much APPRECIATED!

Times sure have changed, Gaynor, in so many ways. Like you, we as kids almost never went to restaurants. Mom cooked most of the meals and a lot of them were one pot suppers that would last several days. It was a rare treat to go out, and when we did we knew that we had better behave. There was no tolerance for bad behavior in public.

I remember seeing kids running around in department stores when I was a child. They would run in and out of those big round clothes racks....with the kids hiding in the middle of it and then running out. I would think to myself, "what the heck are they doing?" That was never acceptable behavior in my household.

We would drive 500 miles to see my mother's parents in the summer. My grandparents were elderly and I am sure short on patience for noise. My mother told us that Grandpa was not feeling well or that Grandma was tired, so we needed to be quiet and to play quietly. We were allowed to go outside in the yard to play if we needed some space. And we were quiet, no doubt about it.

I am sure at one time the law was really laid down for us, because I can't remember being yelled at for bad behavior. We just did not do it, period. We knew better. When kids are brought up the right way from day one, they know what their expectations are.

My parents raised their own kids. We were never put into daycare. Today many parents are more interested in careers and making money, having a good time, having material possessions, and going on trips. The focus is not always on the kids. And when the focus is on the kids, they are spoiled and given everything they ask for.

Parents are over-alarmists now too, everything that was fine for us to do as kids years ago is no longer a good thing.....they may get hurt. So what? Let the kid fall and scrape his knee. Let kids be kids. Protect this and pamper that....what does that do but spoil the kids?

The values instilled in kids today are totally different than when I was young. Some things do need to change with the times, granted, but it seems that common sense has totally gone out the window.

And kids are now having kids = grandparents raising them = they go out and have more kids = the cycle never ends.

My dad & mom would have literally "killed" me if I got pregnant - now it is the norm.

Yikes!

I have heard from some retired people that the new trend is for grandparents to forget about their own lives and to spend all their time with the grandkids, even moving closer to them if necessary. No more vacations, hanging out with friends, going to spend the winter in a warm climate, etc. They pretty much take over as much time as they can with the grandkids.

I've never heard of such a thing. Talk about strange. You work all of your life to raise your kids and look forward to retirement so you can travel, relax, etc. but yet you go ahead and raise more kids all over again. I guess the parents of these kids love all the help from grandma and grandpa.

To each his own I guess....

Not so Cassie !

My whole generation is a bunch of irresponsible drug addict ningcompoops !!

They take them because they have to take them !!

-- Burt B.