BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development The Power of Respect

A very warm welcome to the Self Development Forum !

�The Power of Respect� by Deborah Norville also says on the front cover �Benefit from the Most Forgotten Element of Success�. This is a self development book that reminds one of just how crucial respect is in all aspects of everyday life.

See: The Power of Respect - Review

* What do you think are good ways of showing respect?
* What do you tend to do if someone is disrespectful?
* What do you feel about respect generally?

I'd love to receive your feedback so do add your comments, queries, thoughts, etc., to this Forum thread. I look forward to hearing from you!

Dear Joy -

I think respect is a critical part of living a healthy life. Most people want to be respected.

I try to behave in a way which would at least not cause people to lose respect for me. Even so, there will always be people who, for whatever reason, show disrespect. If I have done nothing to deserve the disrespect, and they act that way anyway for whatever life-path reasons, then I try to gently indicate that I would like the behavior to change. If someone persists then I would distance myself from that person. It would do neither of us any good for them to get enabled in treating others inappropriately.

Lisa

Dear Lisa, many thanks for your comments on respect. Quite often people who come across as disrespectful do not realise the huge impact this can have on others. (JOY)

Respect means many things. It's about using consideration, kindness, and compassion. It means simple manners "Please", "Thank You" etc. It does not mean to agree with something that is disagreeable to you and it does not mean that you become a doormat to another person. It's important to respect their feelings even if you don't agree. That is where you negotiate wants and needs to try to meet them in ways that are comfortable for both of you.

Hi Emma, thanks for your insight - a deep understanding of respect. (JOY)

I think it can sometimes be a challenging balance between wanting to respect someone and dealing with something they're doing that seems direspectful to you.

For example, a family member of mine has taken to calling other people "stupid" in a denigrating way. This bothers me. When I gently suggest that these "stupid" individuals are just in a different stage of their life's journey, he gets annoyed with me, that he should be able to call them stupid if he wants.

He says that he's been assuming they were equals up until now, and now he realizes they are "simply stupid" and he wants to relish this new discovery. From my point of view I don't see why his new knowledge means he has to be nasty about it. He thinks I'm too "holier than thou"

So I suppose I could just say nothing while he gleefully calls people "stupid" in a nasty tone of voice, but that seems wrong to me. I'm trying to mention my concerns in a gentle way, but maybe there is no way that won't be perceived as intrusive.

Hi Lisa, I wonder if he just calls other people "stupid" in your presence? You never know, he might perceive you as more intelligent than him and this jealousy might be contributing to his aggression. (JOY)

Hi Lisa and Joy,

The meaning of 'Respect' is something many people do not understand. I was raised to "show respect to your elders", "respect all you have for others have nothing", so many things we were taught to respect.

Respect for the feelings of others and where those feelings are coming from is a very important thing to understand.

Calling people "stupid" is often said when the person does not fully understand another, so, "stupid" is often a cover up for their own lack of understanding. What do you think?

Lisa, in this case I'd just let him work this through. I get that about wanting to let a realization settle. He will probably have another insight later that intelligence comes in many forms, and this will sort itself out.

I think some people feel better about themselves when they put others down (just my opinion). It makes up for something that is lacking within themselves.

Sometimes, people don't realize the impact their words have on others, sometimes they care, sometimes they don't.