BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Poorly Behaved Kids in Public

Okay, I have to rant right now because this is just one of the things that infuriates me above all else. So please, try to bear with me. I'll make it as brief as I can.

I absolutely can't stand it when I am in a restaurant -particularly a nice restaurant- and am trying to enjoy a quiet conversation with David while we dine and there's a child at the next table throwing a fit or a baby crying endlessly. The parents of the child that always insist on bringing it/them/he/she won't even so much as try to make it stop. In fact, most parents even go so far as to shout over the children, making even more noise and disrupting more people's evenings.

If I try to ask the parents to quiet the child or toddler (as I usually do because like I said, I really just can't stand it) I get a bunch of dirty looks, nasty comments or a combination thereof. One thing I've had people tell me is that I should 'mind my own business', to which I have replied "Well, I'm trying to, but your child's shouting and carrying on is making it impossible."

I've also had people tell me I'm annoying or rude when I ask them if they can make their kid stop having a tantrum. Really? Is that so? I'm the rude one for expecting that while I'm in a restaurant, I have the right to enjoy my meal in relative silence? Apparently so. I'm expected to be able to deal with the noise level like the parents do. I'm expected not to say anything if someone's kid is being rude and disruptive. I'm expected to just give them a pardon because they're a mother and it's so hard being a mother. While I'm not suggesting that it's not hard, it's still a choice that woman made on her own. She wanted to be a mother, she got what she wanted...why should I have to suffer through listening to a baby or child throw a fit?

You have good reason to rant. It's unbelievable how some parents are so ignorant....they figure they are entitled to bring their kids anywhere/anytime, no matter what. OK, fine, if the kid is seen & not heard, but when does that happen! Often, they are deaf to the noise their kid is making, and don't care if it disrupts everyone.
For gawd sakes,people, get a 'sitter if your going out.....and if you can't afford a sitter, stay home.
And bringing kids to weddings/funerals.....well, don't get me going on that...
cp

Oh [censored] Sam, that is the WORST. Its one of my biggest pet peeves! (see my prior posts about friends wanting to bring babies to the fancy prime rib house on New Years Eve, dont forget my post about the parents who brought thier baby to a BAR to see Henry Rollins cussing up a storm) And somehow, magically, we are the bad, wretched people when we speak up and say that its not appropriate. Some parents are so clueless. On that vein, I read a very interesting "Dear Abby" recently. Apparently, someone wrote in upset: thier grandmother had died. During the funeral, a parent ALLOWED thier kid to walk up to grandma's corpse and put stickers all over face. Someone allowed thier kid to do this to the kids dead relative. Abby agreed that it was way inappropriate. Apparently, her readers did not agree and she got huge amounts of angry letters about how the kids "should be allowed to express themselves" and "thats just thier way of saying goodbye" Oh, is that what it is???? I think a more suitable term would be "corpse desecration" Seriously, who ARE these people???? They should all be banned from public places!

I know even worse is when you run into noisy, rude or disruptive children in the public transportation system. Like on a max ( which is kind of the subway mixed with a bus) a train, a bus or a plane. Most people don't want to be in a confined space with a baby screaming or kids arguing and no one is allowed to speak up about it. Parents should at least have to control their brats when in a limited-space train, but no, of course not. Just let them scream and cry and carry on. It only annoys everyone else so much you can see it on their faces but why should the parents have to do anything about it?

Or how about being stuck on a 9 to 12 hour flight with the whiny, bratty child behind you kicking your seat the whole way. I'm a fairly frequent flier, and I can't even begin to count the number of times this has happened to me. 10 hours flight to Hawaii to greet my cousin coming back from Iraq two years ago. A kid next to me (I had the window seat) and a kid directly behind me. The child beside me sat pulling my hair the entire time and shouting. The child behind me was kicking my seat and crying the entire time.

Not only do neither of the parents do anything to make it stop, by the one with the kid behind me was fast asleep! How could they sleep?! The person beside me turned to me more than once and said something to the effect of "how cute they are at that age" or whatever. Having my hair pulled by some child I don't know when I've been stuck in a cramped metal tube for 6 hours at 40,000 feet and am very tired is not something I'd call cute!

Why do parents just assume that other people are going to tolerate anything their children do? Why is it they assume no one else minds if their child is rude, disruptive or annoying just because they are used to it? And why is it that if someone tries to exclude children in public places or speaks up about it they are treated like some horrible ogre? Why am I rude for expecting I should be able to enjoy my meal in peace? Why am I mean if I don't want some rude child poking at me on a flight that's already tiring and annoying enough as it is? Parents should really start thinking about how other people feel too.

As a parent, I had to chime in on this one. I must say that I agree with you all completely. I tried never to let my kids act like that in public. If they did, we made a swift exit! And we did. From restaurants, movie theaters, department stores.

Yes, children deserve to be out in public like anyone else, but they need to be considerate of others. There are appropriate places for kids where a little messy or noisy behavior is tolerable, such as in pizza parlors and such. Every life experience is a learning opportunity for kids so I didn't keep them away from new places. But I did teach them if they did not behave properly, they couldn't enjoy the privilege of grown-up places and experiences. My husband or I used to wait in the car with a misbehaving child. Our kids learned quickly that different places required different behaviors, and they enjoyed a lot of fun and grown-up experiences early on because of that.

But courtesy and consideration for others is important to Japanese culture.

Now, I want to know what to do about poorly behaved grown-ups in public! LOL.

Of course, I am not saying that all kids are ill-behaved in public, but the majority are. I'm glad there are a few parents out there like you who do not tolerate your kids having bad manners. As far as ill-behaved adults...also not good. If I think kids should know better, and I do, then adults should most certainly know better.

My older sister is a fine example of that. Not only does she try to shout over her already loud and ill-behaved children, she argues with them and screams back at them. It's embarrassing to go out to dinner with her because you can look around and see the annoyance on everyone else's faces.

After flying with a crazed child in the seat in front of us we have a special thing I like to do when getting on a plane. I wipe the area down because they never clean it, I have a blanket, a sleep mask, and ear plugs. I also take a relaxant ( not because of children because I'm a bit of a nervous flyer.) Therefore, if there is an ornery child ( and really I can't even fly right and I'm an adult so I'm not judging) I have some relief. Not all kids are that bad. Once on a flight to the pacific, there was the sweetest little boy in front of us. I couldn't believe how well behaved and pleasant he was....much more so than me or my hubby lol!

I read an article in the news last week about a mother who was 'outraged' at being in a cafe breatfeeding her child when a group of four passed by her table and a woman told her how unpleasant it was to have to eat their meal while watching her breastfeeding.
the woman had argued back, and a man from the group had chimed in saying she could have covered up more. ( sounds reasonable, but not for this 'modern mother'

She then apparently burst into tears, and the article continued in the vein of these 'old people' being basically the most ignorant, nasty people on earth, and how dare they have on opinion on such a beautiful natural thing.

She was so outraged she got 40 women to demonstrate in London - all with their babies breatfeeding in public - to show how we should be happy to look at a woman, boob out, baby suckling.....

I must say I had to look away from the photo, as most of the women were pretty ugly, and I felt sorry for the kids, some of whom I'm sure weren't hungry, but were there to make a point.

Sometimes it feels like a us versus them scenario . how sad. but there are many mothers with chips on their shoulders, unable to take anothers point of view. the fact she spoilt the other diners meal passed her by, it was all me me me.

It's not just older people who can't tolerate this. I'm only 21 and when I go out to eat, I certainly have no desire to see some other lady's breast getting sucked on. It's not like I haven't seen them a thousand times before, but i'd prefer to not have to look at some stranger's naked chest when I sit down to eat a meal. And just to make another valid point these same parents who have no problem whipping out their boobs in public are the ones saying how wrong it is that there are so many "x" rated films and tv shows these days. They go crazy over needing to have more "wholesome" entertainment, and how evil sex in movies and on tv is but then have no problem showing their own breasts to complete strangers in public places.

While I realize that there is a huge difference between an adult movie and a mother breastfeeding a baby, I still think it shouldn't be allowed. I mean, what those women are technically defending is the right to undress in public and let someone else suck on their breast. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who's uncomfortable with that concept. I guess it's perfectly acceptable to some people for a woman to take her shirt off in a public place to feed a baby, but if a man does the same thing and someone is uncomfortable with it, it can be seen as "public indecency" or even "sexual harassment."

@ SamB unless it was a completely full flight I definitely would have asked the flight attendant to move me.

People these days are really afraid to discipline their kids especially in public. They are scared they will have CPS called on them.