BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Advice about Hysterectomy?

Ok, so recently I have really been considering... and I do mean deeply considering having a hysterectomy. Is there any doctor out there who would preform this procedure on a 21-year-old woman who otherwise doesn't have any health concerns apart from being in a state of constant mental anguish over one day becoming pregnant and being miserable? If not, is there anything that a doctor WILL do to help make your possibilities of getting pregnant altogether disappear? Birth contol and condoms will only do so much obviously.

I'm literally terrified of pregnancy and child-birth and rearing. I don't want to be a mother and don't particularly like kids anyway.

I've already gone searching all over the web, and have asked my doctor. He laughed at me, and the response I am getting online is that no doctor would ever preform a major surgery on someone like me (namely, someone who can have kids but has made it clear that she doesn't want them and never will and would gladly rip out my own ovaries to prove it to people.)

Also, I hear that sex is somehow different after you have a hysterectomy. Is that true or just some myth invented by doctors and pro-natal people to keep you from making a choice you feel is best for you? Kind of a "scare 'em out of it if you don't agree with 'em" propaganda thing going on there, or is it actually real? People are saying it's less enjoyable, you can't experience any pleasure the same way etc, etc...

Even going on most of the medical websites that I have, they don't really give much information about the procedure...aside from that it can be done and what it is in general, which I know already.

Although this is probably too much information at this point, I have extremely painful minstrel cycles. I have painful cramps a week before the actual cycle starts. Once it does start I am always very heavy and have all the symptoms, including excruciating pain and cramps that are unrelenting without taking many, many painkillers and even then the pain doesn't all-together disappear. It gets so bad that I throw up or have upset bowels. This is the entire reason that I went to my doctor, and subsequently got laughed at for suggesting getting fixed. He wouldn't give be any birth control at the time either, knowing that I have such bad reactions to many drugs (especially ones that can affect my hormones)

I am at my wits end with all of this nonsense. Why, as an adult who is deemed mentally capable to handle the responsibility of a home, family, pets, cars, bills and other such things am I not trusted to know what I want for my own body? Why am I treated like I'm incapable of making an informed decision in my own life? Maybe someone here can help, offer advice or knowledge...because I have no idea anymore. I'm tired of listening to pro-natal people talk about all the reasons not to do what I'm looking to do.

Sam, I know how you feel right now at your age. When I was 21, I would have felt just fine with having no reproductive organs. I had a forthcoming career and had never wanted to have children. From 21-26 yrs old, I took Depo Provera. Although I suffered many horrible side effects, I was willing to go thru it to avoid pregnancy. Then from 26-31, I was on the Pill, which was a lot better in terms of side effects, but it still had a crushing effect on my metabolism and sex drive. This year, I decided to go off of the Pill and get an IUD to remedy my symptoms. The IUD insertion didn't work out as planned, so I ended up with a diaphragm in the end. Surprisingly enough - do you know what came shortly after? I have finally decided that I felt ready to have a baby. Will be trying very shortly to conceive.

Having said this, I'm not suggesting that you will definitely change your mind someday - I never thought I would. But getting a hysterectomy IS a huge deal. It is major surgery that carries risks and requires a long recovery. And your reproductive biology will change, too. If the surgeon takes your cervix, you will no longer be able to produce cervical mucus, which keeps you moist when you have intercourse. I don't know for a fact, but that might be the case for any hysterectomy, based on how much the uterus plays a role in creating the mucus. You could find that your body is behaving as if you're going through menopause, which could leave you pretty miserable.

My first suggestion would be to look into getting a Mirena IUD. This would probably help with your heavy periods, since it contains progesterone. Usually this will keep your periods from happening. Also, the IUD hormones should be much friendlier to your body than those in oral contraceptives, since only your uterus is being infused with the hormones. I attempted to get the Paragard copper IUD (no hormones), but you would not likely be a good candidate, since your periods are already heavy (Paragard makes them heavier). If you are really serious about sterilization, consider having your tubes tied or getting Essure. Tubal ligation is also considered major surgery, but the recovery is much quicker than that of a hysterectomy. But keep in mind - once you go permanent, there is usually no going back. And you are still very young. When you reach your thirties, your hormone levels change a lot, and at some point you might feel different about your own plans (or may not, it can go either way).

I hope this helps. You may not agree with some of this, but just sharing my own perspective. I want to wish you best of luck and hope that you don't get overly stressed :-). Take care.

Hey, Sam. I am thirty and my husband had a hysterectomy. I'd have done what you're thinking of, but anything surgical is so creepy to me...I prefer natural whenever possible. Anyhow, if you want to get a hysterectomy, do it. You're an adult, who can make her own decisions. If you become my age and decided you wanted a kid (highly unlikely as every cFC couple I've known has remained happily CF in their fifties.) There are plenty of children waiting for a "forever" home in the adoption world. I would say think of the reasons you don't want kids. If I remember correctly, Beth M. was more fearful of childbearing and career oriented. However, everyone is different I personally am neither, but simply don't want to be pregnant, give birth, gain weight, wipe up mucus, have to be on call 24/7, be a mom's taxi driver, soccer mom, etc. the whole lifestyle sounds horrible. The Best ADVICE I've read: STOP WHENEVER YOU THINK OF IT AND NOTE HOW YOUR LIFE WOULD DIFFER HOUR BY HOUR DAY BY DAY IF YOU HAD TO RAISE A CHILD. Think of what your reasons are, and then begin looking for a Dr. They do exist! Wishing you the best...

Thank you Beth M and Missitalia:)

To Beth M- Thank you, coming from you advice may actually be the most unbiased because you are someone was childfree for a long while and only recently decided to have a baby. I don't want to do anything too rash right away, but I also am very sure I never will want any kids. Right now, the thing that concerns me most is finding a doctor that would actually preform it on someone my age.

To missitalia- the fear of childbirth is actually just one of my reasons for not wanting to be pregnant. I'm not particularly Career-oriented at this point in my life, I just moved from PA all the way out to the Portland area of OR, and in the midst of looking for any job to have some supplemental income coming in. I also really would not make a good parent, I feel it's enough to take care of my cat and dog. I also don't really like kids. Plus I'm not a big fan of the eternal cost they produce. There are many more reasons as well, but I get the feeling you weren't looking for a response like this, haha:) you guys are awesome at giving advice, and most of you have already felt the things I'm going through.

Sam, I too am currently having difficulties with my period. Namely, the doctors think I have endometriosis somewhere in my left abdomen, but they can't confirm it yet. I'm actually scheduled to have exploratory surgery at the end of January, after the holidays. For me it started about 4 months ago, and the pain that comes with my period... unbearable. And, I'm no pain wimp. My last period, I spent 3 days in bed hopped up on Vicodin, and it's only getting worse. Obviously, that's no way to live. Annoyingly, a hysterectomy won't cure endometriosis. It can be treated with birth control, but I REALLY do not want to be on BC. The only way to cure it is to try to remove the affected areas physically with surgery or have your ovaries removed. And, yes, having them removed will be like sending your body into early menopause. However, just having a hysterectomy and leaving the ovaries maintains your hormones just fine (I cannot speak to the effects it has on your vaginal secretions, I'm unfamiliar with those side effects).

I'm not sure what I'm going to do if it comes up that I do, indeed, have endometriosis. I know menopause can be less than fun with all the hot flashes and such, and I also don't know what it will do to my sex drive (of which, my husband enjoys that I have a healthy one). The idea of no more periods does seem fantastic... but I don't know.

As to your question, here in the U.S., you'll never be able to get an elective hysterectomy. If your periods are so bad, you might look into an endometrial ablation (which will also ensure you can never have a child, but it's less risky than a hyterectomy). However, I'm told you can get ANYTHING done in some foreign countries, like Thailand, if you have the money. I can't speak to the safety of doing that, but if one is desperate enough...

Regardless of what I have to do, the last thing on my mind is whether I'll ever be able to carry a child (that ship sailed the day I had my tubes tied, and I've never looked back). If, IF something happens and I do decide I MUST have a kid (like I get hit in the head, get amnesia, and forget everything I know about what kind of life I enjoy and how much I dislike children), I would certainly adopt. I'm not under some delusion that my genes are better than anyone else's, and considering I feel so adamant about adopting pets from shelters (and not getting purebreds no matter how much I adore Corgis), I can't think of any better way to have a kid than by giving one who already needs a home a good one.

Sam B, You're welcome. However,it doesn't matter to me what your reasons are! There are several great books on the topic of being childfree and I encourage you to read them. Beyond Motherhood, Two is Enough. They are interesting and make you think! Also, I didn't realize you weren't talking about tied tubes...You want the whole nine yards..wow!

Sam, I am no doctor, but having your tubes tied is one thing, and having whole body parts removed from your body because of menstrual cramps is a total different story. Of course no doctor in his right mind would do that. Having a tubal ligation is more than enough not to get pregnant, and even that, I doubt you will find a doctor to do it because you are too young, and, they will tell you "you still have time to change your mind and there are other safe methods you can use". Have you tried the good old pill? A couple of friends of mine had terrible periods and that helped. Talk to your gynecologist seriously. And if you are afraid of the pill side effects, I think they would pale by comparison to hysterectomy side-effects.

Oh my, I wouldn't go to the extreme and get that done. First and foremost, you'll be MAJORLY messing with your body's hormones and that's not a good thing. Once the body sees itself as not being able to reproduce, it starts to "die off." AKA Menopause. So long as you have your hormones, your body stays "young." Go the tubal ligation route. In most cases they cut and burn the tubes so there is no chance of them opening or rehealing together. I also have VERY heavy and painful periods, my doctor discovered the cause to be 2 small fibroids. Good luck!

I totally understand how you feel. I too wanted a hysterectomy at a young age. I figured I'm not going to use it just take it out so I never have to worry about it. However like a lot of posters have stated a hysterectomy is not something you really want to do at such a young age.

No I am not saying you will change your mind about having children but I would think long and hard about the aftermath of having one because it will wreak havoc on your hormones. I don't think you really want to experience menopause before you absolutely have to. You would probably have to go through hormone replacement and take medication possible for years to come. Do you really want experience hot flashes and all the other side effects?

There are a lot of other permanent methods of birth control to consider besides something so radical as a hysterectomy.

I've heard some bad stories about Assure, but then there's Adiana...it's permanent, but non-invasive, etc.