BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Is there a difference between love and infatuation

Love - I don't think there's any type of substitute, and I'm 100% certain it's something money can't buy! But is there and unhealthy love?

Do you feel there is a difference between love and infatuation? If so, what would you say are the differences between the two?

Infatuation is what I felt for every boyfriend save for my husband and the one before my husband. It's lust and it's hot and exciting on the surface, but there's nothing underneath lol.

Yes there is unhealthy love -- I've seen it all my life. The kind of love based upon insecurities. Then there is the passionate I love / hate that person. Mutual goals, mutual drives and respect for each-others differences is ideal -- but we search all of our lives for this and it's like a wheel of fortune.

The difference between love and infatuation? Infatuation can not endure time, hardship and insecurities. Real love comes first from being close, forming a bond, and building slowly on that bond. It takes time to form a bond. Unlike infatuation, real love isn't weakened by obstacles put in it's way, but strengthened by proving those obstacles are nothing compared to the original bond you form with another person. It takes hardship to prove a relationship's real worth to a couple. Respect, trust and honesty are the three keys in real love. If you truly respect the other person, you'll trust them to be honest with you, and you'll be honest in return. Insecurities are no match for a relationship based off of respect, trust and honesty. It's true of all human relationships, not just romantic ones. But that's just my opinion:)

Yes, there's a difference. Infatuation is loving someone on a limited level, without knowing them fully, so part of your love is based on what you know about that person and part is based on what you imagine that person to be. Hence why we go crazy about them and experience passionate, intense emotions. There's nothing wrong with it, but usually it's short-lived and disappointing.

Having said that, I don't think "real/true" love necessarily excludes the feelings of infatuation. I have been madly in love with my husband since almost the moment I laid eyes on him (it was love at first sight). He literally takes my breath away. I have tried "calming down", or rationalizing my love for him, or controlling myself, but nothing has worked. It is puppy love despite myself. I don't know how to love him any other way - I am in love like a schoolgirl. A lot of ppl might say I'm infatuated, but I've been infatuated for 7 years now and don't see it changing any time soon.

gullivera.....you lucky girl.

I had that kind of love once. It lasted many years but then he bailed out for another woman and another life. I am still devastated almost two years later that I lost the love of my life, my friend and soulmate, the man who made me laugh and who understood me inside and out. We could snuggle up for a movie or mess around like a couple of kids. It is heartbreaking that in the end he did not feel the same for me. We had that electricity, that special bond and friendship, that deep affection. Sometimes people who are not happy within themselves are easily swayed by the opinions and ideals of others, and that is what happened with him. So he left to find what he thought were greener pastures when times were tough. Perhaps I had the true love and he did not.

I think what you have with your husband is a very rare and special thing. I know because I had it once too, and you can just tell that what you have among the two of you is not like what you see in the relationships of other people. Because of how you feel about each other you can get through anything. What you have doesn't happen to a lot of people, but it can last a lifetime. I hope it does for you.

Cassie! Thank you so much for your kind words, and I'm so sorry it didn't work out with your ex-husband. But trust me, in the end he's the one that lost. He might not realize it now, but he will sometime and probably even regret what he did (to leave you).

I'm aware there's a possibility my husband might one day decide to have kids with someone else, and I can only pray that will never happen, because I would be de-vas-ta-ted. I try not to think about it and just enjoy our marriage, but it's still scary. He is THE love of my life and sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming.
Only time will tell if we'll be together forever.

I think you know my story. My husband left after a 19 yr relationship to persue an older woman with older kids already, in the hopes of having a baby with her. She is almost 48 yrs old now.....

When I told him I didn't want kids years ago I was taken down off the pedestal he had me on. At one time I was everything to him. For many years I was no longer that. I fooled myself because I loved him so much and I made myself believe that he felt the same. He couldn't have, or he wouldn't have left.

I grieve every day for what I lost. They say time heals but it is still so very painful after almost two years. I am with another guy now who is very good to me, but does not matter. It is just not the same type of deep love, especially on his end. The dynamic is totally different, and I am not sure in the long run if it will work out for me. I really just miss what I had with my ex-husband....our easy going way, how we would communicate without words, the thought provoking conversations......you would think that this is what a good marriage is made of, among the many other positives I could name. Why could he not see that?

Back to you, because we sure ought to focus on the good things...... It sounds like you have something wonderful together and I think you should enjoy every moment with as much gusto as you've got. Don't focus on the relationship possibly ending some day, because nothing is guaranteed in life, and nobody knows what the future brings. If both of you are on the same page now that is great. Enjoy your life together and stay positive. Live life in the moment.

Gosh I wish I was there again.....but for now I am very happy for you, my friend.

Infatuation can't stand the test of time.