BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Rude "friends" should I give another chance?

As some of you may have read in the past I have a friend that is competitive and makes comments about me working PT and some underhanded comments about how "it must be nice not to have responsibility, etc."

A few years back my husband and I had an apartment and my parents and his gave us some furniture we like from their home, it was gently used, but very nice. When I invited two of my "friends" over. They proceeded to ask about every last item in our apartment, "Who paid for this?" "Who paid for that?" All the while glaring at each other. After answering about 5 times, I decided to ignore them the if they asked again. So, of course, they asked again about a piece of furniture in our living room and I ignored the question...they actually went to my husband while I was in the kitchen and asked him to get the answer. I was really angry, and said something to the friend I was closer with. She played innocent and told me that, "questions like that were normal." Really, I had many people over, no one interrogated me like that.

ANYWAY, we just purchased a place and it's lovely, I'm kind of excited about it. Well, these "friends" of mine has asked several times when she'll be invited over. The truth is, I don't want them over ever again. I actually don 't consider them true friends. It's funny my parents got us our new fridge and I was picturing her asking who paid for it lol! You know I could understand if my friends came from nothing them being envious, but they were just as spoiled as I was,one of them had a trust fund for the love of god, now she just got knocked up as a teenager and that set her back a bit. Why is she such a jealous !@#$%? Both of them! Ugh! What would you guys do?

I don't know exactly what to do in a situation like that. I'm the kind of person who ignores comments like that, or I turn them into jokes. For example, when someone asks me who paid for something that I own, I'd probably respond like this:

"Well, so-and-so paid for the fridge, but I pay for all the food that goes into it and the electricity that keeps it running."

Or if someone makes comments about my status of employment/education I'll probably say this:

"By a show of hands, how many people in this room went to college?" Then wait while they raise their hands. "And how many of you wish you had that money to do other things? I guess working part-time and having money for what you need, when you need it isn't so bad."

And if someone were to ask me about who paid for my couch I'd probably say this:

"Well, the person who gave it to me of course, but I'm the one who takes care of them. If you have a problem with that, sit on the floor."

Honestly, I just don't let people make me feel inferior. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, I'm just saying I don't feel I need to answer to anyone, not even to my friends. If they're gonna be that way, you don't need to be around them. You know what they say, "misery loves company." If they're unhappy people, they just want to make you unhappy too. Ultimately though, it's really up to you and how forgiving you are.

misstalia.....my first question to you is this : why in he!! would you have asked these ignorant, stupid people into your home in the first place??

I would never, ever speak to these people again. They obviously are NOT friends...so why torture yourself by being in the same building as them. YOU DO NOT NEED PEOPLE LIKE THEM IN YOUR LIFE.

cp

Sam B., I do like the idea of turning them into jokes, however, I feel like that doesn't change the fact that these women were in the wrong. I should mention that these two are jealous of everything. The one married a man that has no aspirations in life and pops percocet all day so she complains about being jealous of her ex's wife who is a stay at home mom. She was also jealous of another high school friend of ours whose grandmother left her a house (sadly this young woman was just killed by a texting driver, so really what was the reason for the jealousy?) I'm just tired of the nonsense really!

Cream pie, the reason I invited them over is, they've been friends since we were CHILDREN! That's what upsets me about this even more. I agree with you, though. I'd much rather never speak to them again; I don't want to feel like a mean person though.

I wouldn't want to associate with them either. They sound jealous and hateful and no fun at all. I'd just stop calling and stop talking to them. Maybe one day they will get the hint.

I think I just would not call them anymore. They were very rude with their questioning, and their jealousy issues sound very annoying. Time for these ladies to grow up.

I would not worry about being a mean person either if you decide to cut off contact with them. If anyone was mean, it was these two women.

I vote with everybody who told you to cut yourself loose from these women. I understand that you feel a long lasting connection with them. Friendship, not so much!

Yes, I know. I should cease all contact. Truthfully, I don't call or invite, when I'm called, I answer and talk, but I don't really make any effort. As I said, several times,the one has asked to come over, etc. I half-heartedly say say, "Sure, I will." Inside, though, I feel like saying "I don't really want to!" I suppose the hint will be gotten when they aren't invited...ever.

Misstalia: Congratulations on your new place! Awesome! I vote to cut them loose: life is too short to spend it in relationships that frustrate you. They will get the hint eventually without you having to do a big blow-out. I know how challenging it can be to remain polite in a situation like this: just dont let it get you down and move forward! Maybe sweeter and more care-free friends are just around the corner for you! Friends who dont give a s*** who paid for what!

Well, then I'd just stop being around them.