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When You Really Make Up Your Mind #723860 11/06/11 11:48 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,024
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,024
I've been toying with a description of what it's like when you really...REALLY...have that "rush" to leave.

For me, as personal as this is, I'll share it here. No, it's not easy. And on every side of tomorrow you think, "If only they'd change." It's not much to ask, right?

Well, they can't. Even if they do temporarily, it's eating them up inside, because the feeling of what they once were able to get away with, it's there in there memory. It's a rush, for them.

Our rush or people who really want to change a cycle is one that convinces you once and for all, you never want to experience that again. No doubt.

For me, it was when I was lying unconscious on a 98 degree blacktop and my husband, then, stepped over my body, went inside didn't look back.

There aren't a lot of details this type of a situation could shock people by, but that's what did it for me.

I don't even like swatting flies, so for this person to step over a human being and leave them there, that's when I had my rush.

I dragged myself by my elbows when I came to, got to my purse and called a friend of mine.

From that day forward, and this is with true sincerety, for awhile, your coffee maker is the only thing you can consider a true friend. It's there without judgement.

Having said that, you marry up! Little by little from your coffee maker to a morning or night for that matter your stomach doesn't clench, you build on to a little more humaness in the forms of friends and partners who reflect your self-worth.

Karen Elleise
Clairvoyance Editor
Clairvoyance Site
Re: When You Really Make Up Your Mind [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance] #723950 11/07/11 12:45 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 60
Sirene Offline
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 60
Elleise, I could sense the ending was neigh. I started to defy him.

I started to become more vocal when he started to force himself onto me. Even this morning when he was forcing himself onto me. He softly snarled into my ear "I should choke you here. You are competely worthless."

I took a shower after what I thought was when he was done, I grabbed my clothes and he just pulled me out of the bathroom and raped me one more time. Telling me he was done with me and that he didn't want to see me ever again.

I didn't say anything. I silently knew that it had come to an end though he took one last rape.

At present I don't know what to do....

Re: When You Really Make Up Your Mind [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance] #726998 11/22/11 01:49 AM
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,367
Yvonnie-Inspired Offline
BellaOnline Editor
BellaOnline Editor
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,367

I don't know where u r now, but I hope u have left & r safe. Let us know...

Yvonnie DuBose

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